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If you fancy a giggle - A guide to the language of Sunday League Football







Vegas Seagull

New member
Jul 10, 2009
7,782
A few more
'One each' shouted by every defender at every other defender when defending a corner
'He's Two Bob' every team you play has this weak link to be exploited
'He's off, he's ****ing off Lino' at the oppo's bent linesman
'Heads Up, Lads' shouted by side that conceded, exactly 10 seconds after the goal went in
'I'd give it 5' said by all 100 that come out of vastly overused toilets 10 mins before kick off
'Who's got the kit'? It's always in the last car to arrive at pitch
 






scwiffy

Active member
Jun 24, 2011
211
I'm definitely a victim of the "TIME!" shouts.

I'm reasonably comfortable on the ball for a RB, but as soon as "TIME!" is shouted I panic and make a stupid pass.

Also 80% of the time it serves as a reminder to the opposition, causing their closest man to promptly run towards you like a raging bull.
 




Brownstuff

Well-known member
Feb 21, 2009
1,504
Hove
My most used shout was 'Up their arse' to my left/right back (especially at our poxy left-back) just before throw-ins and did they listen, did they heck giving time for the opposition to turn time and time again and create yet another chance for a cross.
On another sport regularly hear 'We've gone quiet lads' out in the field during cricket, (of course it is going to be quiet you doughnut,it is a blithering game of cricket). This is then normally followed by pointless geeing up otherwise known as worthless drivel by half of the team to please the captain.
 


Jul 7, 2003
8,636
It's missing the classic 'over me' - usually shouted by a central midfielder or centre back when misjudging the flight of a long ball forward as a warning to the player behind that they have to be ready for the ball to arrive unexpectedly.

I'm sure that if you listen carefully to the audio of the Stoke v Southampton match on Saturday, you will hear both Saints centre backs shouting this in about the 12th second.
 


Monkey Man

Your support is not that great
Jan 30, 2005
3,159
Neither here nor there
My pet hate is "WELL IN!" from the sidelines whenever there's a convincing tackle.

Though I would like to say it loudly and often at a Welwyn game.
 






Farehamseagull

Solly March Fan Club
Nov 22, 2007
14,063
Sarisbury Green, Southampton
That is brilliant, all of them heard regularly in my sunday league days.

The not talking one is so true, it was a crime to be quiet on the pitch.

The one thats missing that I used to hear a lot though was "lets go again" after every goal we scored.
 


BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Patron
Jul 14, 2013
21,586
Newhaven
"who's got tape?"
That has made me laugh, i have 2 sons that play football, the eldest (15years) was putting tape round the top and bottom of his socks, until one of his team mates pointed out the bottom of his shinpads were elasticated and the tape at the bottom of the socks was doing nothing.
 




Adders1

Active member
Jan 14, 2013
368
I'll add to the mix:
'He don't want it there!' - said after an unnecessary backpass to a keeper with a forward bearing down on him.
'Line it!' - the act of the full back receiving the ball from a throw in and being instructed to drill it down the by line to, more often than not, no-one in particular.
'let's keep our heads' - usually recommended by one of the better players in the team in response to a 20 yard slide tackle from the team psycho on the edge of their own penalty area.
'we're going through the motions, lads' - After 20+ years of playing football, I still have no idea what this means.#
'Send him! ****ING SEND HIM!!' - usually said as a precursor to a fat winger making a run
 


I'll add to the mix:
'He don't want it there!' - said after an unnecessary backpass to a keeper with a forward bearing down on him.
'Line it!' - the act of the full back receiving the ball from a throw in and being instructed to drill it down the by line to, more often than not, no-one in particular.
'let's keep our heads' - usually recommended by one of the better players in the team in response to a 20 yard slide tackle from the team psycho on the edge of their own penalty area.
'we're going through the motions, lads' - After 20+ years of playing football, I still have no idea what this means.#
'Send him! ****ING SEND HIM!!' - usually said as a precursor to a fat winger making a run

And usually by the Center Midfield general who is in acres of space about 10 yards from you but is blowing out his arse after making a 15 yard track back.
 


Withdeano

New member
Oct 30, 2010
151
Horsham
Danny Cullip was the king of "AWAYYYY!" at corners.

I beg to differ.... The Goalie in Trousers was unsurpassed at that one!!

Can I offer "they don't like it up 'em!" and "this is pony" to he mix too please?
 




wardy wonder land

Active member
Dec 10, 2007
763
Ace - "over me !" when not really jumping......

too feet - as in pass it to my feet

no left foot - as in the left winger has no skill in his left leg, therefore "show him the outside"

out - when a corner has been cleared

no shot

no turn

no kick

where's the rub ?

it will take a stud - when the pitch is waterlogged !
 


Mackenzie

Old Brightonian
Nov 7, 2003
33,562
East Wales
Good 'ed....an exclamation of praise for a well executed header.
 




Quinney

Well-known member
Aug 3, 2009
3,654
Hastings
"Stand him up", "don't dive in", "just a toe", "run it off", "see it out" some more classics - which I must admit to using
 




Postman Pat

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
6,971
Coldean
Great list.

As an ex-ref, the incessant shouts of "foul throw" after every single throw-in drove me mad.

We are against 12 today, as they didn't like one of my decisions.

I got the ball ref! - Deemed to be an acceptable defence for any horrendous challenge.

I'm sure someone could do a similar one for village cricket
Catch-it - the ball goes up in the air to shouts of "catch it"..... really, I was just going to let it drop on the floor.
One for the arm - suggesting that the fielder is weak and cannot throw the ball in before you stroll for a simple run.
etc...
 




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