How long should you wait before dating after a breakup?

[Uncle Spielberg]

Make your mind up. Why do you want to get back with her if you only love her as a friend?

And 4 years is not a short amount of time, so if you want to get back with her what are you after, another couple of years or possibly marriage? If it's the latter, you do everything you can to get back with her.

This is the correct advice.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Also you cannot be " friends ". That is not possible now. Too many raw emotions on both sides. Maybe a year down the line but not now as it will prevent both of you moving on.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

This is the correct advice.

Most Women I think want to know there is a plan. A blueprint for the future. That is important to most Women. 4 years fannying around would make most women rethink the relationship and actions always speak louder than words. If you loved her it would have progressed by now so something must be holding you back. As I said 22 is very young so maybe you have GIGS.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Nothing wrong with it all, in fact sex in a long term relationship is usually better than sex with a stranger - assuming your bird isn't a shit shag. The problem many men have is that they think that their woman is the only one in the world and that they'll never get anyone else like her. This results in them having their lives controlled by their girlfriends or wives. The women in these relationships will then lose respect for their boyfriends/husbands and get bored and have affairs with men who are 'bad boys' to provide them with a bit of excitement.

There is a lot of truth in this.

 

[ees complicated no?]

Make your mind up. Why do you want to get back with her if you only love her as a friend?

And 4 years is not a short amount of time, so if you want to get back with her what are you after, another couple of years or possibly marriage? If it's the latter, you do everything you can to get back with her.

Well Ive been having trouble with some other stuff and I've sort of put her on the side for a few months in which time I guess there hasn't been much connection between us and thats how it's gone a bit off the tracks, but now all the things that were in the way I have now been sorted & I feel I need to prove to her It's not to late to give it another even if it means carrying on with this break for a little longer? but if she doesn't feel the same way then I guess this is where the question came in.

 

[ees complicated no?]

most women i think want to know there is a plan. A blueprint for the future. That is important to most women. 4 years fannying around would make most women rethink the relationship and actions always speak louder than words. If you loved her it would have progressed by now so something must be holding you back. As i said 22 is very young so maybe you have gigs.

gigs?

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

gigs?

Grass
Is
Greener
Syndrome

 

[ees complicated no?]

ahh ok.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Well Ive been having trouble with some other stuff and I've sort of put her on the side for a few months in which time I guess there hasn't been much connection between us and thats how it's gone a bit off the tracks, but now all the things that were in the way I have now been sorted & I feel I need to prove to her It's not to late to give it another even if it means carrying on with this break for a little longer? but if she doesn't feel the same way then I guess this is where the question came in.

There is a short timeframe. Don't kid yourself there isn't as she will be someone else if she isn't already. She will not wait around forever for you to get your shit together believe me. I am speaking from bitter experience of f***ing up a few good relationships in my time so I only mean to give you good advice. Do you love her ?

 

[Whitterz]

Live your life a bit, dont get tied down too early!

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Live your life a bit, dont get tied down too early!

I agree to an extent. How I felt at 22 and 49 is miles apart now. 4 years is a long time but better to end it now than later, married with kids and end up hating each other I think.

 

[Triggaaar]

now all the things that were in the way I have now been sorted & I feel I need to prove to her It's not to late to give it another even if it means carrying on with this break for a little longer? but if she doesn't feel the same way then I guess this is where the question came in.

You don't really know how she feels, so just concentrate on how you feel. If you think you might want to spend your life with her then get her back, and do it now. If you don't think that's a realistic possibility, move on already.

Live your life a bit, dont get tied down too early!

The only problem with being tied down early, is if your with the wrong person. If you're 22 and it's the right person, you're better off being with them. If the alternative is to play around and then end up with someone less suitable that's hardly great.

Right person - get back together.
Wrong person - move on.
Simples.

 

[nwgull]

This stuff about getting her back before it's too late is bollocks. If she really loves you then she'll be the one who will initiate the reconciliation and hold you in much higher regard as a result, and you'll be sorted for the rest of your relationship (life?). If you are the one chasing her to get her back together then she'll feel like she's done you a massive favour, and you'll be at her beck and call for the rest of your relationship. And then she'll probably have an affair and/or dump you in a few years.

 

[Spoon]

FYI. If your ex is 24 quite tall a bit chubby and has a wide face I was banging her most of last week and she's never had it so good.
Prob not the same less but she'd just broken up so just in case it is you should know.

likewise.

 

[ees complicated no?]

This stuff about getting her back before it's too late is bollocks. If she really loves you then she'll be the one who will initiate the reconciliation and hold you in much higher regard as a result, and you'll be sorted for the rest of your relationship (life?). If you are the one chasing her to get her back together then she'll feel like she's done you a massive favour, and you'll be at her beck and call for the rest of your relationship. And then she'll probably have an affair and/or dump you in a few years.

Hmm sound advice I didnt see it like that.

 

[ees complicated no?]

Seeing as nearly everyone seems to think I should get with a few girls anyone here with a single daughter or sister aged between 18 - 23? Pictures would help

 

[brunswick]

if you have a strong connection with someone go for it....even if your current relationship is waning and there is no way back.

but to "just date" for the sake of it is a bit silly no?

all depends on how easy it is to peel your energy and stories away from your ex. some ppl are like monkeys - don't let go of one tree until have hold of another.

just follow strong connections i say......

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

This stuff about getting her back before it's too late is bollocks. If she really loves you then she'll be the one who will initiate the reconciliation and hold you in much higher regard as a result, and you'll be sorted for the rest of your relationship (life?). If you are the one chasing her to get her back together then she'll feel like she's done you a massive favour, and you'll be at her beck and call for the rest of your relationship. And then she'll probably have an affair and/or dump you in a few years.

I am afraid you are wrong. It depends on the manner of the split but if he has let her go without a fight, she will move on in the blink of an eye. Her love will move onto the next guy. There is a short timeframe here. There is a difference between being resolute and coming across as not giving a toss. Why should she initiate the reconcilliation ? A very dangerous game to play and it is game playing. If you love her tell her, state your case and then go and do not contact her again. Then leave it to her.

 

[perseus]

The haunting line:

A full blooded Cherokee predicted it to me
The time and the date we would part

changed to

The time that trouble would start

Sometimes, people are not meant for each other .....

 

[Triggaaar]

This stuff about getting her back before it's too late is bollocks. If she really loves you then she'll be the one who will initiate the reconciliation and hold you in much higher regard as a result, and you'll be sorted for the rest of your relationship (life?). If you are the one chasing her to get her back together then she'll feel like she's done you a massive favour, and you'll be at her beck and call for the rest of your relationship. And then she'll probably have an affair and/or dump you in a few years.

Hmm sound advice I didnt see it like that.

It wasn't sound advice. Each girl is different, and while it's true that you probably wouldn't want to appear too needy, if she liked you but felt you weren't interested, and then she started seeing someone else you're buggered. Go back then and you look like a jealous twat. Without knowing you or your ex, or why you broke up, even the best relationship expert (which, FYI, is me) couldn't tell you the specifics.

But this is getting ahead of ourselves, you haven't even decided what's best for you, and that's step one.