[Misc] Emotional control - help needed

[Hotchilidog]

I had a similar experience when leaving a job I had been at for 15 years and the whole company came to say goodbye. I took deep breaths in between lines and counted 1-2-3 in my head to try and make it to the next line. It will be an emotional experience buy such an utterly joyous one. Know that everyone listening will be supporting you 100per cent and will be welling up themselves. I hope you all have a terrific day and enjoy the happy occasion for all it is worth.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Amazing privilege ...you will feel so proud....just go with it

 

[Gazwag]

Try and make them laugh in the first few seconds, even if its a joke or comment at your own expense, will relax you and everybody.

Good Luck

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Don’t worry about it, I’m sure everyone will understand if you get a bit emotional, it shows that you are a loving and caring father.
You won’t be the first dad to well up when giving your speech, and I’m sure you won’t be the last.

This. My Dad got emotional at my wedding. Nobody minded at all.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Many thanks NSC family - seems I will need to have the Kleenex box nearby for the inevitable ...
I'm just a bit old school where blokes are supposed to be tough and weepy eyes are inappropriate.
There be a line ready for "Oh damn, I have some more dust in my eye" ....
The problem with welling up [for me at least] is the inability to get the words out.
The pregnant pause will need to be deployed ...

My speech is printed on two sides of A4 in 18point font - its 755 words so not a long one ...

 

[Bry Nylon]

Many thanks NSC family - seems I will need to have the Kleenex box nearby for the inevitable ...

Don't have a ****, whatever you do

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Many thanks NSC family - seems I will need to have the Kleenex box nearby for the inevitable ...
I'm just a bit old school where blokes are supposed to be tough and weepy eyes are inappropriate.
There be a line ready for "Oh damn, I have some more dust in my eye" ....
The problem with welling up [for me at least] is the inability to get the words out.
The pregnant pause will need to be deployed ...

My speech is printed on two sides of A4 in 18point font - its 755 words so not a long one ...

This is how to do it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8

 

[NooBHA]

Tears are Good

F#ck Em if they don't like it

It wouldn't be your speech if people don't see your true emotions.

Oh and another thing - Don't write a full speech. Just work from Bullet points and ''Ad Lib'' Your memory will come to you naturally and won't let you down rather than trying to follow a script from start to finish, especially if you get emotional somewhere in the middle.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Maybe this will help



*edit* Bollox, too late

 

[Mellotron]

Don't be too hard on yourself whatever happens.

Certainly don't see it as a bad thing, or a weakness to show emotion at your child's wedding. It's not.

Enjoy the day.

 

[MattBackHome]

My elder daughter gets married tomorrow ...
I've written my speech and have been practising all yesterday.
Problem is, I can't get through it without welling up in certain places.
Has anyone got any practical suggestions for where I can't put my mind to help stop this?
I fear that with alcohol in my system it will also be a fair bit worse.

For example, the is a well know suggestion for nervous public speakers to imagine your audience are all fully naked - too many friends and family involved to make that work.
Anyways, its not nerves that's the problem, it's emotions.

Please help [serious and sensible options only please - this is no joking matter]

I'm a notorious blubber. Barely made it through my own wedding vows and lost it towards the close of a recent eulogy I made.

The general gist of the thread is right; tears are good. They show that you care about what you're saying and what it means for you to be there. We've all sat through enough robotic by-the-numbers speeches to know the s difference. Your daughter will love it all the more knowing this.

When I was doing my grooms speech i ended up taking the piss out of my crying too which felt right (and got a large laugh).

Ultimately you should embrace the joy and pride that you're feeling and allow it to show, in whatever form it takes.

Sorry that advice doesn't help with blub avoidance! Have a wonderful day [emoji106]

 

[Mackenzie]

My advice would be to just go with it, make sure you have a hanky and a glass of water though.

Good luck and best wishes to your family.

 

[Grombleton]

Don't have a ****, whatever you do

SO relieved i'm not the only person that immediately thought that

 

[Klaas]

My elder daughter gets married tomorrow ...
I've written my speech and have been practising all yesterday.
Problem is, I can't get through it without welling up in certain places.
Has anyone got any practical suggestions for where I can't put my mind to help stop this?
I fear that with alcohol in my system it will also be a fair bit worse.

For example, the is a well know suggestion for nervous public speakers to imagine your audience are all fully naked - too many friends and family involved to make that work.
Anyways, its not nerves that's the problem, it's emotions.

Please help [serious and sensible options only please - this is no joking matter]

ah mate as others have said I'm sure people will respond very positively if you do get over emotional. Why the **** not!

I know you said you've already written it but maybe you could lighten it up a bit in places with some jokes? Sorry, bit heavy, but I wanted to speak at my brother's funeral but I didn't know if I could actually get through it. He was a very funny lad and known for it so I leaned heavily on some jokey stuff. The first time people laughed relaxed me a lot. I also read it out loud a lot before the day. Voice wasn't exactly unwavering, but I did it.

Good luck and congratulations.

 

[Algernon]

you know what I do, genuinely, I do this! ....I know this is awful, Infact it’s terrible, but it REALLY works, if I wanna stop myself getting emotional, I think about my grandmother squeezing one out on the toilet. It’s horrendous, I know, I know, but it works!! SORRY!

But......he might not know your grandmother.



The way I see it:
Why exactly don't you want to get emotional?

Are you concerned that you'll mess the speech up?
It's only you who will worry about this. Your daughter certainly won't care, infact she'll more than likely start blubbing herself when she sees how much this day means to you.

Are you concerned people will think you're a big sissy girl?
Nobody will be worried about you blubbing.

So it's just you.

FFS I'd just blub away and would try not to give it anymore thought. The build up is special too, don't spend today worrying.

Congratulations to your Daughter and to you. Have a wonderful day and come back and tell us what an amazing day it was.

 

[Sussexscots]

Read your speech out loud in front ou f a mirror. Notice how you are reacting. Try again until you are happy.

Breathe deeply so that your breathing is under control before you start.

When you stand to speak, take a moment, look around and smile.

Take your time, try not to hurry and if you feel you are, look up, pause, smile and breathe.

Remember this is a family gathering on a happy occasion. Everybody in the room is on YOUR side. Nobody is waiting for you to slip up or catch you out. People will understand if you are emotional.

Smile, Breathe, Enjoy.

And have a wonderful day!

 

[dazzer6666]

Don't be too hard on yourself whatever happens.

Certainly don't see it as a bad thing, or a weakness to show emotion at your child's wedding. It's not.

Enjoy the day.

Totally this - nothing wrong with showing emotion during your speech. I had to stop during the eulogy I read at my sister’s funeral, and almost had to at my dad’s funeral. At both, I did have someone prepped and ready to take over if I’d got to the point of being unable to continue - as well as a useful contingency, I think the thought of actually handing over mid-speech HELPED me get through.

Literally NO-ONE will think bad of you for getting emotional - quite the opposite. Roll with it and enjoy the day [emoji106]

 

[Bodian]

Do the speeches before the meal - then you can enjoy the food and beer

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I had a similar problem with a eulogy at a funeral, and I’m normally okay with public speaking. The celebrant told me to read slowly, deliberately, and don’t worry about pausing, blubbering etc as no one will care/worry and it’s acceptable. This helped me. I did blub, pause a few times, but I was able to get the words out (occasionally with a couple of attempts) and say what I wanted and it was loud and clear. There’s really no shame or harm in showing emotions.

I offer the same advice to you. I also say have a great day.

 

[Farehamseagull]

Just let it go! Nothing wrong at all with showing that emotion, the speech will go down much better for it.