I could LITERALLY watch that all day. Not even joking.
Our American cousins will freak out if the game actually ends with the scores zip-zip.zip-zip is a score that happens in soccer.
And a lot of venues in the States limit you to ordering 2 beers per person - Yanks love their rules and regulations
The players don't wear padding.
They don't have nicknames like 'The Chest Freezer' or 'The Knackered Trabant'. Just 'Kaz' and 'Knocky'.
There is no goal music.
No-one clenches their fists and shouts 'Go, Seagulls'.
No-one turns up with a piece of scraggy torn up cardboard box held aloft with a badly spelled slogan about 'kicking ass'.
No-one shouts 'B-H-A, B-H-A' endlessly and repeatedly.
There is no goal music.
Getting pissed first is obligatory. You daren't watch the Albion sober.
The beer is a decent local, not some lorried in corporate superpiss which has first passed through the urinary tract of a honey badger from 200 miles away.
No pigs were harmed in the making of the steak pies.
THERE IS NO GOAL MUSIC.
You might want to tell them we've always been in Brighton, not Crawley, followed by Stevenage, followed by Basingstoke, at their owners' whim.
Don't feel let down when the scoreboard doesn't have a graphic of clapping hands with the slogan 'cheer a goal...'.
The ball is supposed to be round - OK?
THERE IS NO SODDING GOAL MUSIC.
Don't call it soccer
2 per visit to the serving lady or 2 per game ?
I know what you mean about rules though, a former colleague (palace STH and pisshead) was on holiday and, being a bit early for dinner, decided to have a couple of liveners beforehand. After his 4th bottle of budweiser he was given a leaflet on binge drinking as it was hotel policy.
Isn't soccer actually the correct term though? I'm sure it's not an Americanisation, I believe it to be an English term that was derived from aSOCiation football, which developed into soccer, the septics merely took over the use of the word.
#tin hat at the ready.