A hellish encounter

[Hillian1]

Right, I am sure everyone is bored of this now but I said I would respond so here I am. Apologies for the delay but a delightfully beer fuelled weekend in Munich and work commitments got in the way.

So.. atilla, this is as I am sure you are aware by now a message board, I can respond to your input on it without having to like/dislike you. You are probably not a bad bloke but I have no real opinion or interest in the matter, I just respond to what you post nothing more. Do I think the poetry you have posted on NSC is rubbish? Clearly. Do I find your posturing as some sort of socialist superhero ridiculous? Absolutely. Did I think you were out of order welshing (or is it welching? I’m never sure) on the AFC Wimbledon bet with the Laughing Bluebird? Very much so. Do I respect the hard work you have put into supporting the club over many years? Yes. Do you ever cross my mind when I am not on NSC? No.

As tempting as a charity boxing match is I’m afraid the arthritis in my hands (well in fact everywhere) make it a physical impossibility. And anyway wouldn’t it be dangerous for a man of your age? As for meeting you to “express my feelings”? I don’t feel the need if I’m honest. This is in no way due to me being a keyboard warrior or running scared (as people who know me on here will testify, although NAILS and STREET might be pushing the realms of believability Leighgull), it’s just that given the choice I’d rather spend the time having a beer with my mates.

Finally, to address your comments re Goldstone Ghosts I’m not sure what you expect me to say here. Rupertsflan has already posted very eloquently on this. Do I think that artistically it is a brilliant piece of work? No. It’s better than the effort you started this thread with and clearly the subject matter is very emotive for a specific audience but I can’t imagine that any serious independent reviewers are going to fawn over it. That said, it does what it says on the tin and it has become part of Albion culture so I’m not knocking it either. If people derive pleasure from it then great, fair play to you.

Sorry, I am aware that this post was not worth waiting for.

Not even in these?

 

[Lokki 7]

A mate of mine snapped his cruciate ligament in one of those! They're DEADLY.

 

[Commander]

As tempting as a charity boxing match is I’m afraid the arthritis in my hands (well in fact everywhere) make it a physical impossibility. And anyway wouldn’t it be dangerous for a man of your age? As for meeting you to “express my feelings”? I don’t feel the need if I’m honest. This is in no way due to me being a keyboard warrior or running scared (as people who know me on here will testify, although NAILS and STREET might be pushing the realms of believability Leighgull), it’s just that given the choice I’d rather spend the time having a beer with my mates.

Bugger. But fair enough. You'll just have to find some other way of settling it then. So is there anything more manly than boxing? There's only one thing: eating hot food.

It's time for the SALTDENE SIZZLER

Saltdean sizzler could be the world's spiciest pizza From The Argus)

That will settle things.

 

[Lokki 7]

Bugger. But fair enough. You'll just have to find some other way of settling it then. So is there anything more manly than boxing? There's only one thing: eating hot food.

It's time for the SALTDENE SIZZLER

Saltdean sizzler could be the world's spiciest pizza From The Argus)

That will settle things.

That does indeed look like a hellish encounter...

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

That does indeed look like a hellish encounter...

Hellish encounter would be an understatement when all those spices, pepperoni and dough have spent some time interacting with all the real ALE in Attila's guts.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

That is a REAL MAN's challenge.

Are either of you MAN enough to go head to head over the ultimate pizza?

Lokki?
Attilla?

I'll happily start the ball rolling with a pledge of £10 to the charity of choice of whichever of you finishes first.

 

[Leighgull]

That is a REAL MAN's challenge.

Are either of you MAN enough to go head to head over the ultimate pizza?

Lokki?
Attilla?

I'll happily start the ball rolling with a pledge of £10 to the charity of choice of whichever of you finishes first.

I'm in.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Yes, yes I'm in (sponsorship, not eating)

 

[Commander]

charity of choice

Are you daring to suggest we have a CHOICE in what charity any money goes to that is raised by Brighton fans??

I'm in. £10. Again, sponsorship, not eating.

 

[Hillian1]

Yep £10 over here too.

Don't give a shit who wins, just watching that would be worth it.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Are you suggesting we have a CHOICE in what charity any money goes to that is raised by Brighton fans??

.

Of course we do. Its only right that each COMBATANT gets to choose, in whose name, they go into (pizza) battle.
If one or both choose to nominate REMF, good for them. Equally, if one or other chooses to support The Martlets, or Macmillan Nurses, or any other worthwhile cause that would be welcomed too.

In fact its better if they name different charities really isn't it? Otherwise, its a bit pointless, as the result is the same whoever wins?

 

[Hillian1]

So is this on then?

I think we should all form a circle around the dueling table and shout "fight, fight, fight"

Contestant Lokki, you may start on my first whistle.
Contestant Attila, you may start on my second whistle.

It's all jolly exciting.

 

[Commander]

In fact its better if they name different charities really isn't it? Otherwise, its a bit pointless, as the result is the same whoever wins?

Yes. Yes it is.

 

[Lokki 7]

Not that we need to "settle" anything here, but should this ever come to fruition in any shape or form I would select a charity that supports people who are in dire need. My arthritis is relatively mild compared to my 2 nieces (our specific type is hereditary and strikes in your teens), who have been treated at Great Ormond Street hospital. And they are relatively lucky compared to many of the kids that are receiving world class care there. That is a more worthy charity IMHO and I would consider a challenge of some sort to raise money for them.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Forty notes raised already. Just so you know Lokki, chilli is supposedly very beneficial for arthritis.. although applied topically rather than orally.

 

[User removed 4]

A HELLISH ENCOUNTER

The furnaces were roaring
With a foul and sulphurous smell
The damned were being tortured –
Just another day in Hell.
The air was full of ghastly screams
And soul-destroying moans
When above the dreadful clamour
Rose some shrill suburban tones…

‘So messy! And so smelly!
And so awfully, awfully hot!
And all you do is torture –
That puts nothing in the pot!
I’ll close down all your furnaces
Your unproductive ways
And build a brand new call centre –
A Purgatory that pays!’

The Devil dropped his pitchfork
And put on his coat and hat.
‘I don’t mind facing Jesus
But I can’t compete with that!’
But the damned and all the goblins
Pleaded ‘Lucifer, don’t go!’
Stay and help us in our fight -
Better the Devil that we know!’

So they voted him shop steward
And he led a demonstration
While Thatcher glared and tutted
In mad, impotent frustration.
Then they made some massive banners
In huge letters: ‘COAL NOT DOLE’!
‘NOT ONE SINGLE FURNACE CLOSURE!’
‘GO TO HEAVEN, TORY TROLL!’

Now Tomas de Torquemada
Held a centuries-old position
As editor of Hell’s newspaper:
The Daily Inquisition.
So Thatcher went to him and said
‘I need some press support.
It always does my bidding.
Here’s some text for your report!’

But Tomas said ‘Eees complicated -
‘Satan ees my mate!
You know I’ve serve him faithfully
Since 1498…’
So she yelled upstairs to Murdoch:
‘Rupert, time for you to die!
I need you down here urgently!’
But there was no reply.

Then the Devil came in glory
Brian Clough at his right hand
And in tones to shatter marble
Thundered: ‘Margaret, you are banned!
Hell’s a worker-run collective
Self-sufficient, closely-knit.
We don’t need your poxy meddling.
I condemn you to the pit!

But, first, I’ll reunite you
With the one you love the most.
He was hiding in the coal hole.
He was dressed up as a ghost.
Said he DIDN’T WANT to see you!
Said to PLEASE keep him away!
But you’re here now, aren’t you, Denis?
Bid your lady wife good day…..

They were loaded in the lift shaft
And soon they were gone from sight
And heading for an awful place
Of pain and endless night
And you’re not going to believe this
‘Twas such awful, rotten luck -
But half way down the endless pit
The Thatchers’ lift got stuck...

So fight for social justice
And build a better world
And bury her foul legacy
With red banners unfurled
And heed the final message
Of this cautionary verse
Or you could end up like Denis.

I can think of nothing worse.

How on earth do you manage to Nick a living with dross like that ?

 

[User removed 4]

Where did I say that I dislike you? Why do you want to take me outside? Are you going to duff me up or bore me to death with a sonnet? I just think that you are shit at poetry and am amazed that you can make a living out of efforts I would expect from an eager 12 year old. Good for you. But if you are going to insist on posting them on a public message board then I think I am within my rights to comment on how crap they are. You have afterall been self publicising this drivel for a very long time now.

Duff you up ? That's the sort of language I'd expect from an eager 12 year old .

 

[Buzzer]

Put me down for £20. I'd love to see this happen.

 

[Diego Napier]

You're wasting your time here, unless you were around in the 80's and saw what she did to the miners and other working class people you wouldn't know which is why you get the clueless comments on here and other forums.

May the disgusting old hag rot in hell

Ernest, glad I read this thread; one of your best posts (no capitals, know you're being serious!)

 

[Bozza]

I'd be in for a tenner.

NSC would be in for £100. More, maybe, if I get drunk and re-visit this thread.