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They are. I've no idea what they are, but that's what Jo from Piglet's Pantry called them on the Roar.

Richard Baker has been brought in to offer his advice and opinions on improving the 1901 experience, I'm told. And he is a fussy sod. There is not a time during match day when pies are not being cooked. What you appear to be talking about is having the pies cooked via a different method...

You don't normally come across as a Daily Mail reader.

Yep. Just listened back through the Roar from when Elliott and Richard were on. I seemed to recall Richard being responsible for having Elliott report into him (hence it come under RH's wing). He didn't say that at all, my mistake. However, I do know Richard and Elliott (among others) do work...

Elliott deals with the catering.

Wrong. They do far more than that. Aside from that, I'm not sure what your post added.

Sorry mate, but feeling personally insulted on the back of something the club is not allowed to do (have catering vans outside) is pretty hysterical.

At the risk of sounding like I'm defending everything Azure does (I certainly wouldn't), you appear to be criticising the very people who bring you the local ales, pies and open concourses. Or rather, it seems you're congratulating them and criticising them in one go.

'There can be no easier catering job in the world...' Has Jeremy Clarkson hacked your account?

He's the managing director. Stadium issues (including catering) come under Richard Hebberd's responsibilities.

Well, I'm not totally convinced either way. I certainly don't feel as incredulous as thinking it's an 'insult to my intelligence...' True, there's a wide space when it's empty, but stick some vans, lo-o-ong queues, and an emergency situation in there, and it's suddenly pretty crowded. I'm sure...

Why on earth do you feel insulted?

Richard Hebberd on the possibility of catering vans outside the stadium. The Albion Roar, 8 Oct 2011: "No plans to do that at the moment. One thing is we promised the neighbours we wouldn't do that. The main reason is that we have an evacuation plan, an emergency escape plan that needs that...

Nope. But seeing as all this has got nothing to do with you, why should you care? (Cue predictable moo and facepalm smileys)

So why have you not got any respect for either party when, by your own admission, you don't know where any perceived problem lies?

That's highly possible as a pub doesn't have to deal with such mass catering and a very rapid turnover of food. As for the grizzling about the pies, I suspect the problem might not necessarily be the pies...

28 mins per batch. They're par-cooked at Piglet's Pantry before being sent over to the ground. The ovens at the ground are 'state-of-the-art', apparently. I guess is depends how long after they came out of the oven you got yours. The original idea of having them all prepared and baked at the...

One per kiosk. They are in constant use throughout matchdays. They have to time them right at the start. Cook them too early and they go slightly soggy if left in the box too long (this is where many people think that it's because they've gone in the microwave - and start howling).

Each of the ovens cooks 120 pies for 28 minutes a session. That is the way the kiosks operate. It's obvious that that is not enough because the original tender for pies at the Amex was for 2,500 pies per match - and at that time that was considered over-generous. No-one foresaw that 8,500 pies...

So you're appalled that the pies were being... cooked? f***ing hell. Have you paid any attention to what happens with this part of the catering or did you just fancy a playtime rant?