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Mental! Or drunk. Or you fell asleep.

I make qualifying against a team we should beat sound easy? Sorry.

Can you put that cash towards coaching youngsters in this country? It's just that the FA and the PL won't.

I'm not inspired by that. Sorry. I expect more. And I'm entitled to it given what we have sacrificed in the cause of the premier league and football in this country. Quite simply, this performance shows we have failed to nurture our national game. And for what? The richest league in the world.

This with extra helpings of turd.

No they didn't. You really think they weren't trying to win? To get the goal? Football players are not that bright. Total rubbish. If you can't get a goal against Ukraine then you're not going anywhere. And what is Roy on about - players not being used to this sort of pressure. Rubbish...

Yes. I know lots. What do you know about winning them? I don't want to just qualify. I'm not Aston Villa.

Twinkle Toes and brakespeare are right. Most of the team can't pass or control the ball. Just imagine how much the foreign brigade are making up for their inadequacies in the premier league!

Oh do shut up. We are awful.

I'd plump for a Mr Bean repeat. More entertaining.

Quite. And they are paid what? In what is nothing more than the X Factor league of Europe.

I was seriously considering watching The Midwives rather than this. Wish I had.

God what a shocking shower England are. Boring boring boring. Played by the most uninspirational bunch of players. Dull.

Lampard hat trick.