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Wow-Wee! A flatulent blow-up doll. You should patent that idea.

What the f*** is Miss Marple doing up there??! Miss Marple is for shirt-lifting POOFTA'S! :safeway2:

Jack Regan. '....Nah, 'course I wasn't scared. Mind you, some bugger's pissed in my pants.' Or more recently: Burnside '....Get up you SLAAAAAG....'

I was shocked to hear Home Secretary David Blunkett say that Britain's prison population has been ballooning for the past ten years. My God, has the world gone mad? Those people are there to be punished, not to be given 'thrill of a lifetime' experiences that most law abiding citizens can only...

Killing me softly - The Fugees

I have a 2 inch scar just below my Adams Apple after having a 'Tracheostomy' 9 years ago. I was unconcious for 5 weeks, so I didn't know anything about it until I woke up with about 20 different tubes sticking out of every orrifice, artery & vein!:nono:

Germany 4 Allies 4 They all escaped by blending in when the crowd invaded the pitch at the end. Perhaps Sylvester Stallone could do a job ???

Oops.....I boobed. :dunce: It was Co Prins from Holland. :blush:

......(Alan Mullery), in the film on C4; 'Escape to victory'! Quality afternoon TV :clap2:

You've cod to admire their honesty.

I lived 3 doors away from Sully (in Shoreham) during the late 70's. Used to often see him walking his dog in Buckingham Park! I was only about 8 so it was a major deal having an Albion star as a neighbour. :clap2:

259 now!

I would but I'm Diabetic.

I only lasted 1/4. f***ing American shite TV. I should know better. :down:

Thankyou very much for your advice here - even if I don't understand most it. I think I'll re-adjust my budget :ohmy: I have told my Mum to go to a proper shop in Liverpool to choose the right 'touch & sound' to her liking. Oddly enough my Mum & her sisters went to the same school as John...

I am, indeed, still in Crowborough. My Mum, however, lives near Liverpool now. Thanks anyway :)

Cheers buddy - I was waiting for that :( :thud: Ho Hum...............:(

Hi all. My Mum has asked for a Keyboard for her 63rd birthday. So it doesn't need to be too technical (she thinks 'BlueTooth' is what an ill cat gets - OK?) She was, however, a bloody decent pianist - on the real thing - 25 years ago, playing a lot of Johann Strauss etc. (I was learning...

I always go armed with a tool concealed in my pants.

Where's the option for 'f*** off referee you retarded gimp-twat tosser' ???