Handy Hamza hands?

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

So we're all sitting around at work talking bollocks as usual. We were on the topic of Hamza's imminent deportation, when someone piped up "if you had both hands off, what fantasy attachments would you have"
The best i could think of at the time was pint glass on one hand bottle opener on the other. Wether that would work I very much doubt it.
What would you have?

 

[Two Professors]

A 'SuperFinger' for jet propelled bogie flicking etc and the pint glass option for the other

 

[SeagullinExile]

So we're all sitting around at work talking bollocks as usual. We were on the topic of Hamza's imminent deportation, when someone piped up "if you had both hands off, what fantasy attachments would you have"
The best i could think of at the time was pint glass on one hand bottle opener on the other. Wether that would work I very much doubt it.
What would you have?

What would i have?

A very, very painful wank i should imagine.

 

[mistahclarke]

What would i have?

A very, very painful wank i should imagine.

not if you had a special "glove" made. If it self-cleans - winner!

 

[SeagullinExile]

not if you had a special "glove" made. If it self-cleans - winner!

Especially if you fill the glove with warm pigs liver first....

..oh dear, that was so wrong on every level, i apologise!

 

[hitony]

An extention arm fitted with a "full on clarity, 3D multi angled microscopic detailed mirror, with built in camera facility"

The other one would have to be a decent pint glass........

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

Especially if you fill the glove with warm pigs liver first....

..oh dear, that was so wrong on every level, i apologise!

That's as bad as one of the suggestions at work. A taser on one hand and on the other a vile of Rohypnol tables.

 

[SeagullinExile]

That's as bad as one of the suggestions at work. A taser on one hand and on the other a vile of Rohypnol tables.

Anyone got the patent office's number?

 

[skipper734]

That's as bad as one of the suggestions at work. A taser on one hand and on the other a vile of Rohypnol tables.

How would he get his trousers down? He hadn't thought it through had he?

 

[JCL]

…. Rohypnol tables.

Is that the latest bit of furniture from IKEA?… LOL!

 

[Bigbelly]

An extention arm fitted with a "full on clarity, 3D multi angled microscopic detailed mirror, with built in camera facility"

The other one would have to be a decent pint glass........

Was overjoyed on hearing the news that he's finally on his way. Bet he's crying like a baby right now knowing that he's not allowed phone calls over there or any contact visits apart from behind glass which you chat via phones, black and white TV's, No play stations, No phone cards, No christmas menu, where you have a pick of chicken, roast beef and all the trimmings. He'll get the bog standered grub they all get and his winning and crying will be replied with, shut up you no arm bandit you cryining muppet, you're not in the UK now and your rights went out the window the minute you left soft touch britain. family won't be able to afford the flights so it's pen - friend situations for the rest of his life.

Florence ADMAX, Supermax, or the Alcatraz of the Rockies which houses Islamic terrorists to New York mafia dons, Florence Supermax prison has them all. And they all sleep on concrete beds.

Florence ADMAX, Supermax, or the Alcatraz of the Rockies have loverly inmates.

Tyler Bingham and Barry Mills

They say the place is the clean place to hell. Happy early exmas from all from the UK

NO ONE WILL WRITE FOR HIM.

 

[crasher]

No christmas menu, where you have a pick of chicken, roast beef and all the trimmings.

I doubt that Christmas dinner has ever been a big part of his life to be honest.

 

[hitony]

Was overjoyed on hearing the news that he's finally on his way. Bet he's crying like a baby right now knowing that he's not allowed phone calls over there or any contact visits apart from behind glass which you chat via phones, black and white TV's, No play stations, No phone cards, No christmas menu, where you have a pick of chicken, roast beef and all the trimmings. He'll get the bog standered grub they all get and his winning and crying will be replied with, shut up you no arm bandit you cryining muppet, you're not in the UK now and your rights went out the window the minute you left soft touch britain. family won't be able to afford the flights so it's pen - friend situations for the rest of his life.

Florence ADMAX, Supermax, or the Alcatraz of the Rockies which houses Islamic terrorists to New York mafia dons, Florence Supermax prison has them all. And they all sleep on concrete beds.

Florence ADMAX, Supermax, or the Alcatraz of the Rockies have loverly inmates.

Tyler Bingham and Barry Mills

They say the place is the clean place to hell. Happy early exmas from all from the UK

NO ONE WILL WRITE FOR HIM.

I can clearly see your very upset about it all, try and put it out of your mind, you willl get over this massive upset in your life, time does heal my friend.......

 

[Bigbelly]

I can clearly see your very upset about it all, try and put it out of your mind, you willl get over this massive upset in your life, time does heal my friend.......

Don't worry as I've now finally have closure in this sorry chapter. Same we can't do the same with the vile people that polute our prison system. I can sleep well now knowing he'll be crying for the rest of his life.

 

[hitony]

Don't worry as I've now finally have closure in this sorry chapter. Same we can't do the same with the vile people that polute our prison system. I can sleep well now knowing he'll be crying for the rest of his life.

I can't see to many peeps being upset he is leaving our shores

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

Is that the latest bit of furniture from IKEA?… LOL!

Whoops, if the tablets don't work I guess you just smash them over the head with a table

 

[JCL]

whoops, if the tablets don't work i guess you just smash them over the head with a table

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol….

 

[Ringmer Seagull]

There was a company recently in London doing novelty coat hangers. The Abu Hamza was a classic.......his hook doubled up as the hook on the coat hanger.

 

[el punal]

A pair of boxing gloves - he's got a devastating right hook!

 

[Seagull on the wing]

Hamza.....sling your hook!!