[Humour] Punchlines that don't need the build up

[A1X]

I'll have what she's having

 

[PTC Gull]

Today I will be mainly wearing………

 

[Sid and the Sharknados]

That's not a knife

I see you've played knifey-spoony before.

 

[Redinpeace]

Manuel there is too much butter on those trays.

 

[Flounce]

Pretenious?
I don't recall any such mispronunciation

Pedantry could be viewed as an attempt to signal superiority, surely that wasn’t your aim?

 

[WATFORD zero]

Pedantry could be viewed as an attempt to signal superiority, surely that wasn’t your aim?

Yes Minister ?

 

[Fungus]

“What, from here?”

 

[A1X]

Today I will be mainly wearing………

I actually got banned from the Guardian website because they used to have a weekly feature called "Jess's fashion tips" and I'd just post "This week I have been mostly wearing xxx" as a comment

They were asking for trouble

 

[Irate Ninja]

"I f**k one pig"

 

[dazzer6666]

I knew that were gonna ‘appen

 

[Blinkers]

Why’d ya let it bounce?

 

[seagurl]

(Everything we go away and it's raining.)
We've come on holiday by mistake.

 

[jcdenton08]

I actually got banned from the Guardian website because they used to have a weekly feature called "Jess's fashion tips" and I'd just post "This week I have been mostly wearing xxx" as a comment

They were asking for trouble

Guardian readers are a different (weirder) breed

 

[5Ways Gull]

It all started with this pimple on my bum.

 

[Coxovi]

I need a large sock with horse manure

 

[WATFORD zero]

The reason I started this thread

The Samaritans were busy, dear

He won’t sell much ice cream going at that speed.

Tea Ern?

No, it's pronounced 'bouquet'

“This one goes to eleven.”

Infamy

“What, from here?”

Thank you so much

 

[A1X]

He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy

 

[The Clamp]

We’ve come on holiday by mistake.

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

You show me a man that laughs at defeat and I’ll show you a black chiropodist with a sense of humour

 

[METALMICKY]

" That is correct, but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts "