[Football] Keepers going down

[Easy 10]

Yet ANOTHER lengthy timeout today, instigated by a goalkeeper with a totally fictional injury. Pope drops down clutching a leg, having not even been involved in anything in the preceding minutes. This is the cue for Smug Pneumonic Eddie to gather his troops at the sideline for a little pep-talk for a few minutes, whilst his keeper receives "treatment".

This is a DELIBERATE tactic to snide the rules. It breaks up play, it breaks up momentum when a team is getting up a head of steam, and it needs to stop. We don't have timeouts in football. Except now we do, with this blatant shithousery when the likes of lung-boy feel like tactically stopping the game for a few minutes. The game obviously cannot continue when the keeper is down receiving "treatment", and this is now being abused. So what to do ? Here is MY solution.

If your keeper goes down in need of treatment, the game stops, as per usual. However, every player from both teams must gather in the centre circle until the stoppage has finished. Managers stay in their technical areas. Never mind water-breaks. Never mind pep-talks. All players are confined to the centre circle until the keeper has had his treatment. Once the trainer is off, the game recommences.

It needs dealing with, and I believe this is the solution. Any other ideas ? Bueller ?

 

[A1X]

Outfield players have to go off the field, so should keepers

 

[Weststander]

One of Emery’s tactics, every game unless they’re flying in the game. Chance for drinks and a tactics chat. Not permitted.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Boils my piss. Can time your watch by Arsenal and Newcastle doing this. Wolves under O Neil did it every week. I'm sure there are more which I haven't clocked. Legalise it or penalise it.

At least we've started talking to each other rather than kicking the ball about when it happens.

 

[Easy 10]

Outfield players have to go off the field, so should keepers

No, that doesn't work. You can cover for an outfield player. You can't cover for a keeper.

 

[portlock seagull]

Outfield players have to go off the field, so should keepers

This is the most sensible and only solution. Give gloves to a defender or whoever in meantime, or make a substitution. Keeper returning then needs to charge back from the half way line and get his gloves off the outfield player whilst the game continues.

 

[dsr-burnley]

If any player holds up play for an injury (including those who aren't injured but take forever to stand up) he should have to leave the field till the next break in play. When it's the goalkeeper who's injured, it should be the team captain who goes off (unless the goalkeeper is captain, in which case it's whoever has been pre-nominated).

 

[Easy 10]

One of Emery’s tactics, every game unless they’re flying in the game. Chance for drinks and a tactics chat. Not permitted.

Emery, of course, also has the King of Shithousery between the sticks playing for him. I can still recall him making a routine unchallenged save at the Amex down to his right, gathering a daisycutter. Nobody was near him. Yet he stayed down, rolling around clutching his knee.

I literally would not piss on Martinez's teeth if his gums were on fire.

 

[pocketseagull]

Think the first answer is the simplest and fairest response to this specific tactic.

If your keeper goes down in need of treatment, the game stops, as per usual. However, every player from both teams must gather in the centre circle until the stoppage has finished. Managers stay in their technical areas. Never mind water-breaks. Never mind pep-talks. All players are confined to the centre circle until the keeper has had his treatment. Once the trainer is off, the game recommences.

 

[Easy 10]

This is the most sensible and only solution. Give gloves to a defender or whoever in meantime, or make a substitution. Keeper returning then needs to charge back from the half way line and get his gloves off the outfield player whilst the game continues.

The thing is, keepers DO sometimes get genuinely injured. You can't punish a team for that.
As ever, cheating players have created this conundrum.

 

[portlock seagull]

The thing is, keepers DO sometimes get genuinely injured. You can't punish a team for that.
As ever, cheating players have created this conundrum.

Life sucks doesn’t it? Nah, we’re paying to watch football not feign-all. Sorry my sympathies ain’t with the players, but the fans. So feck ‘em if once in a while it’s a bit unfair.

 

[Easy 10]

Life sucks doesn’t it? Nah, we’re paying to watch football not feign-all. Sorry my sympathies ain’t with the players, but the fans. So feck ‘em if once in a while it’s a bit unfair.

I do get that sentiment.

But genuinely injured or not, I just want to REMOVE this timeout option that has crept in as a result of a keeper getting treated. Remove the incentive. If a manager can't gather his players round him while his keeper is getting treated, then perhaps it will remove the incentive to do it in the first place.

 

[WhingForPresident]

Newcastle pulled every trick out of the Arsenal playbook today. Slow play down at every opportunity, get it wide to the quick guys, run a bit, dive and win a free-kick/penalty, take ages over intricate set pieces whipped into the big man, tactical 'injuries' etc. This kind of cynical football is so shit to watch and is killing the PL, Fulham, Villa and Brentford also notable culprits. As long as team's prosper playing it, they will do.

 

[portlock seagull]

I do get that sentiment.

But genuinely injured or not, I just want to REMOVE this timeout option that has crept in as a result of a keeper getting treated. Remove the incentive. If a manager can't gather his players round him while his keeper is getting treated, then perhaps it will remove the incentive to do it in the first place.

The issues are time wasting, stopping momentum and reorganising. Your solution tackles one of those where’s I’d like to see any change tackle the others better. Everyone knows keepers are doing this for those reasons in 99% of situations or they wouldn’t be able to get insurance at the rate these life threatening oh it’s a miracle now incidents are occurring. Nope, let the game play on with the keeper down unless decapitation has occurred. Even then VAR will probably still make a bollox of it.

 

[WhingForPresident]

It's fashionable to say Pep has ruined football because people play 'woke' things like three at the back, inverted full backs and false nines or whatever. Utter bollocks, it's the revival of this win at all costs 'Brexit football' that Pulis and Allardyce used to be derided for.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

If any players go to the technical area during an injury, yellow card them. Simple to monitor given there’s a 4th official.

 

[hoveboyslim]

If you’ve got the game recorded, watch after the penalty decision is overturned. You can see Howe signalling to Pope. Then Pope goes down, clutching his leg like he’s been shot.

 

[hoveboyslim]

This is the most sensible and only solution. Give gloves to a defender or whoever in meantime, or make a substitution. Keeper returning then needs to charge back from the half way line and get his gloves off the outfield player whilst the game continues.

Don’t think this would be good as it encourages the opposition to actually injure a keeper.

 

[timbha]

If you’ve got the game recorded, watch after the penalty decision is overturned. You can see Howe signalling to Pope. Then Pope goes down, clutching his leg like he’s been shot.

Then Howe should be retrospectively charged for bringing the game into disrepute, or whatever, and banned for life

 

[Bold Seagull]

I thought this was going to be a thread about us going in for one of the Southampton, Leicester or Ipswich keepers!