Was I Naive Taking My Young Son in the Family Stand?

[Thinker]

Encountered good old fashioned racism last night...bananas were mentioned..east stand..and tons of aggression directed at the south stand-not rivalry-pure unnecessary hatred.

 

[Thinker]

wasn't it supposed to b named the ''respect'' stand...scant respect paid last night..i'd rather the louts shouted out for the club than spent there time gesticulating towards the opposition supporters

and when i say respect i mean for there own supporters around them

Agree 100%-if the energy that was directed at shouting AT palace-how much 'we hate them' was actually directed at our players then maybe that could have made a difference.just felt very 80's football last night...very 'two tribes'.

 

[tip top]

Im guessing mr easy 10 isnt a parent. Theres a difference between choice language and full on racist and abusive language my friend.

 

[kingcole]

Were you around the E1D area? There was a chap near me kicking off at every decision, but it doesn't really matter where you go, people enjoy matches in different ways and part of a football education is learning that. It's not ideal for the kids to see, and it's important you make it clear that it's not pleasant to behave in that way. People will behave like that at football though, it's a passion filled environment, especially against Palace.

I know what you're saying, but I think you need to appreciate the fact that the East Stand is still the real world, designated Family Stand or not. It won't do your kid/s any harm at all to be around such a lout whilst they have their parents there with them. Just make sure that it's not the best way to behave and it's not a problem!

E1D is not the family stand. Family is E1A, E1B and the northern half of E1C only

 

[pastafarian]

are you naive?....no! there is a place for everything including colourful language in certain parts of all football stadiums but not that sort of behavior in the family section,i am the first to admit my outbursts are not PG and rated at football but would not do it next to kids and families,im sorry your kids had to witness it but would suggest the best course of action is to carry on going im sure your not alone in your views.

i presume you are to the right of the east stand i would suggest talking to the steward of Indian persuasion who flies about that whole area rather than the club,he seems to be the go to guy and is incredibly helpful and friendly and actually genuinely seems to give a toss if there is a problem,you should be able to catch him when he is going out of his way to ask disabled supporters if everything is ok

its interesting to note ive been in the family stand at sussex cricket a couple of times and the stewards have a zero tolerance there........but i guess its easy there as the
cricket fans are just asked to go somewhere else

 

[essexeagle]

Forgive the intrusion of a Palace fan who enjoyed every second of Tuesday night!

Libra, you don't say how old your son is but I have taken my lad, who is now nearly 14, to Palace since he was 5 or 6. He has heard all of the language under the sun. I have certainly had times when I have been embarrased to be around the swearing at football. Tuesday night was no exception. When he was very young I used to go in the family enclosure at San Selhurst but there was still swearing there. So I gave up and just carried on going in my usual stand.

Like it or not, the swearing is part and parcel of going to football. I don't swear in front of the kids (or wife!) at home and they certainly don't swear in front of us. We do (secretly) however look at our son's Facebook pages, just to be on the safe side and the language him and his mates use was, at first to us, shocking. I thought about talking to him about it but then I thought back to when I was his age. I was certainly using the same language! I guess you were too?? I am an aircraft maintenance engineer and there is certainly industrial language used at work all the time. So, I guess I am saying that in the long run, I'm sure it wont do your kids any harm. So long as they are brought up in the right way it will have no impact whatsoever.

In the passion of a game between the fiercest of rivals it is to be expected. No matter where you sit.

 

[theliqliq]

Well I once saw the Albion fans(the Moron type that is)at Lincoln City some 11 years ago when I was over from Mullaloo,They were like animals,I thought at the time,shit I'd love to cage these yobbos,then I could feed em raw meat......maybe the powers at B at Brighton could introduce a Caged Area,not like the old Bird Cage but a Meat Cage,then these screaming Neandethals could SCREAM their HEADS OFF,in a more appropriate setting.

New to this excellent site...........Fav., Player,the wonderfully Gifted and Elegant...Christopher 'KIT' Napier,Ooooo such Class that Man HAD.

theliqliq

I am sorry to say that I was one of those who left 'early' last night before the second and third goals.

I did so with a heavy heart, but with a lot of common sense.

From Doncaster onwards, our family have used our season tickets to sit in the Family stand.

Both my children are young, but like any good father I am showing them the right way to grow up, and ensure they follow their local team, rather than a crew with Lancashire accents.

The point of this thread is to highlight the disgraceful behaviour of a fair few males between the ages of 25-35 who I have never seen in the family stand prior to last night's game.

Within the first minute of the game, some lout showed his education by shouting a string of abuse with such clarity!

The atmosphere was aggressive and unsavourary all evening.

Yes we cheered when CMS scored, and we were annoyed when Palace started their comeback, but in no way did I honestly expect the level of hatred and pure hostility on show in the 'Family' stand.

If this is the way the club wishes our younger fans to enjoy their football, then maybe I have been a little naive.

In all seriousness I would expect nothing else from the youngsters in the North Stand, as that is the correct place for such conduct, but in the family stand, you must be kidding?

After last night, in my opinion the whole family stand concept needs to be revisited by those in charge and quickly before it is too late.

 

[StillHateBellotti]

Do you mean fans singing songs being passionate about their team and trying to get a atmosphere going if this is not your thing go home and watch the TV and that goes for all those who complain about the singing in all sections of the ground if you dont like it dont come we need supporters from all ages who are vocal and make some noise its not the theatre its a football stadium !!!!!!

There is a difference between singing and pure hatred! I recently worked Millwall v West Ham and I have to say this game beat that by a mile for intensity, vile abusive, aggresiveness and language! Kids don't need to be around that that's why my 12 year old stayed at home!

This match had an atmosphere and edge where It was going to go massively wrong! And I think lessons need to be learnt all round, from transport, policing, keeping away fans in, the severe lack of stewards in the ground who appeared scared of the atmosphere!

The family stand is just that, if they wanted to sit around abusive people they would have sat in the north bo doubt!

I was brought up following the Albion as a kid in the South East corner and if it looked or felt volatile at some stage we would all get moved away from it! Unfortunately you can't just move in an all seater stadium!!

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

You know the deal if you have a ticket in the Family Stand - you sign up for the passion ok - but not some idiots hurling a tirade of abuse. These are the ones that should be reported. They should get tickets elsewhere - and if that is the only ticket they can get - show some respect for the regulars.

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

You know the deal if you have a ticket in the Family Stand - you sign up for the passion ok - but not some idiots hurling a tirade of abuse. These are the ones that should be reported. They should get tickets elsewhere - and if that is the only ticket they can get - show some respect for the regulars.

,
an evening KO was too late for little Jack so it meant me going in the Family Stand on my own, however knowing full well I'd have a few beers and because I "hate" Palace I knew I'd get a bit over excited I moved seats, now i'm concerned reading this as tickets have fallen into, let's say, the wrong hands. What if 2 of them ended up in MY seat (that's what I call it) I could end up getting daggers next week if it's assumed 'i've passed that ticket on to some mates' luckily I did appear before KO just to say hello to some of the regulars so at least the two sets either side know I was there, however If I find the behavior in MY seat was unacceptable for the family stand I will be making a complaint.


Second point, swearing, (FAO EASY 10 for one) I am fully aware of the words Jack will pick up in the playground/street/off me etc, that is not the issue (my late mother was from Clydebank, they know how to swear, and so did I by the time I was 5, but most importantly I knew when NOT to swear from an early age as well) If I catch Jack using the F word when he's 8 that's one thing, if I catch him at Falmer at 8 jumping off his seat, clenching his fist,blood vessels about to burst, abusing the ref/fans/players every 12 seconds because he's seen in the Family Stand, i'm gonna have the 'ump

 

[Simster]

Personally I love it in the family stand although Tuesday night was certainly noteable for the shortage of kids.

My experience of Tuesday was of slightly more swearing (not the zero tolerance we have come to expect for other games) and more passion. Certainly didn't see any over aggressive types who had no place being there.

DKM is absolutely spot on with my feelings though:

You know the deal if you have a ticket in the Family Stand - you sign up for the passion ok - but not some idiots hurling a tirade of abuse. These are the ones that should be reported. They should get tickets elsewhere - and if that is the only ticket they can get - show some respect for the regulars.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Just need to pick up on a couple of points, I take my two Sons to most matches, in the E1D area, never had any problems although there has been the occassional swear word around us, but the boys know what's right and wrong. I get heated and over enthustiastic during the game, this doesn't lead to bad language or aggressive behaviour (unless it really is me you are referring too!)

For night games my 8 year old sleeps from 3 - 6 and then we travel to the game and he sleeps in the car on the way home, not ideal but he loves his football and we've purchased a season ticket and later found out that the majority of games are mid week! Don't take the 5 year old mid week as he need 12 hours of continuous sleep, so lose out on his ticket.

I have had to look at two people since being at Falmer in that "Do you think that language is acceptable" way and both times they've acknowledged the boys and offered an apology. Perhaps it's best to deal with it there and then with either the individual or a steward, doing nothing reinforces their bad behaviour and leads them to think it acceptable, doesn't it? It's probably me challenging every decision, I live the game when I'm there, but there is never bad language or aggression.

 

[The_Real_SussexSeagull123]

Fair thread- speak to an advisor? or Ticket line to pass on the message?

 

[Tummy Burger]

I am sorry to say that I was one of those who left 'early' last night before the second and third goals.

I did so with a heavy heart, but with a lot of common sense.

From Doncaster onwards, our family have used our season tickets to sit in the Family stand.

Both my children are young, but like any good father I am showing them the right way to grow up, and ensure they follow their local team, rather than a crew with Lancashire accents.

The point of this thread is to highlight the disgraceful behaviour of a fair few males between the ages of 25-35 who I have never seen in the family stand prior to last night's game.

Within the first minute of the game, some lout showed his education by shouting a string of abuse with such clarity!

The atmosphere was aggressive and unsavourary all evening.

Yes we cheered when CMS scored, and we were annoyed when Palace started their comeback, but in no way did I honestly expect the level of hatred and pure hostility on show in the 'Family' stand.

If this is the way the club wishes our younger fans to enjoy their football, then maybe I have been a little naive.

In all seriousness I would expect nothing else from the youngsters in the North Stand, as that is the correct place for such conduct, but in the family stand, you must be kidding?

After last night, in my opinion the whole family stand concept needs to be revisited by those in charge and quickly before it is too late.

I would agree for just about every other game, the family stand is for exactly that. However this was Palace, and these rules do not apply, and were never going to. Whether that is right or wrong is up to the individual, but the kids are going to see it either inside or outside the ground or on their way to and from the ground. And that is the reason why I did not take my lad and will not until he is old enough to go on his own, and decide for himself.

 

[Pbseagull]

I have season tickets for me and my eleven year old daughter in the Family stand, I agree that there is no place for Foul/aggresive/abusive behaviour coming from within this stand, however we can clearly hear the language from the North Stand, this is fine as my daughter is aware that it's ok to hear this but never to use such language herself- it will always be a part of football. I did'nt take her with me on Tuesday as i was concerned about her seeing the tribal violence aftrer the game and did'nt want to to not want to go to future games because of the idiotic minority who were obviously going to take the rivalry too far. I've been an Albion fan since the early 70's and fully understand the feelings between us and palace, but were not in the 70's anymore and the thugs who caused trouble by ripping up seats and fighting after the game need to grow up, I suspect a lot of them have children themselves- if so they should be bloody ashamed of themselves.

 

[Simster]

I would agree for just about every other game, the family stand is for exactly that. However this was Palace, and these rules do not apply, and were never going to.

I have to take issue with that. We were told "zero tolerance" so that is what it means. You are right that there it always going to be something other than zero tolerance on Tuesday because of the below average number of kids in the stand, but if the club says "it's OK for Palace matches", then you do get people taking liberties.

Better to expect family stand behaviour from "guest" adults, but be a bit tolerant when they occasionally forget where they are. Similarly, these guests need to do a good job of remembering where they are sitting.

 

[Pbseagull]

I have season tickets for me and my eleven year old daughter in the Family stand, I agree that there is no place for Foul/aggresive/abusive behaviour coming from within this stand, however we can clearly hear the language from the North Stand, this is fine as my daughter is aware that it's ok to hear this but never to use such language herself- it will always be a part of football. I did'nt take her with me on Tuesday as i was concerned about her seeing the tribal violence aftrer the game and did'nt want to to not want to go to future games because of the idiotic minority who were obviously going to take the rivalry too far. I've been an Albion fan since the early 70's and fully understand the feelings between us and palace, but were not in the 70's anymore and the thugs who caused trouble by ripping up seats and fighting after the game need to grow up, I suspect a lot of them have children themselves- if so they should be bloody ashamed of themselves.

 

[Daffy Duck]

I was brought up following the Albion as a kid in the South East corner and if it looked or felt volatile at some stage we would all get moved away from it! Unfortunately you can't just move in an all seater stadium!![/QUOTE].


Exactly. At least on the terraces you could move away if it got nasty. Can't do that at all-seater grounds, unfortunately.

 

[tezz79]

,
an evening KO was too late for little Jack so it meant me going in the Family Stand on my own, however knowing full well I'd have a few beers and because I "hate" Palace I knew I'd get a bit over excited I moved seats, now i'm concerned reading this as tickets have fallen into, let's say, the wrong hands. What if 2 of them ended up in MY seat (that's what I call it) I could end up getting daggers next week if it's assumed 'i've passed that ticket on to some mates' luckily I did appear before KO just to say hello to some of the regulars so at least the two sets either side know I was there, however If I find the behavior in MY seat was unacceptable for the family stand I will be making a complaint.


Second point, swearing, (FAO EASY 10 for one) I am fully aware of the words Jack will pick up in the playground/street/off me etc, that is not the issue (my late mother was from Clydebank, they know how to swear, and so did I by the time I was 5, but most importantly I knew when NOT to swear from an early age as well) If I catch Jack using the F word when he's 8 that's one thing, if I catch him at Falmer at 8 jumping off his seat, clenching his fist,blood vessels about to burst, abusing the ref/fans/players every 12 seconds because he's seen in the Family Stand, i'm gonna have the 'ump

This is what I mean, I don't make a big thing about swearing around my kids although they know damn well they cannot swear, my boy I take is 8 & there is no way on this earth he'd jump up & down shaking his fists with his "blood vessels about to burst" because at home he'll be disciplined the moment any tantrum like behaviour starts & therefore is well behaved at football but also not shocked & over awed by the language.
Again Im not saying my way is right but it seems you're having a lot of hassle trying to shield him from something that is always going to happen at football & life in general.... Each to their own & I hope you & your son can enjoy the games in the future, maybe hull won't too bad but I'm not sure about the hammers game

 

[Hiney]

Jesus christ its FOOTBALL, not the bloody theatre. My dad used to take me on the old East terrace at the Goldstone and there was PLENTY of choice language all around us there, as well as the clearly audible 'foul-mouthed' songs and chanting from the North Stand. As a kid, I knew not to use the swear words as I'd get a clip round the ear.

Some people just want this game so damn sanitised, and then wonder why we sometimes struggle to get an atmosphere going. If your delicate child cannot be exposed to the HORROR of some swearing in a football ground, then either don't bring him, or plug him into a Jedward album on an iPod for the duration (which would be far more damaging in the long run in my opinion).

Obviously if there is some tool nearby unleashing a non-stop string of F's and C's for 90 minutes then have a word. But generally, I think if you take your kiddiwinks to a football match, its par for the course that they're going to hear some industrial language, regardless of where you sit.

BANG ON Easy, as per usual.

My boy hears plenty of industrial language in the North and I think any parent is Naive if they think they (the children) do not hear/use this type of language EVERY SINGLE DAY in the playground at School.

I was a bit worried after the Doncaster game because some of the language went beyond industrial but this has calmed down and although there are a few 'c**ts' being thrown around, many people actually turn around and have a word. There is a difference between the frustration in a comment and outright blatent "Oi Murray you stupid lazy fat c**t"

My son joins in the chants but will modify his language, as in "the referee's a SADDO!!"

If you decide to sit in the North Stand then it's your lookout but bad language is totally unnacceptable in The Family Stand