Unwritten rules or playground football...

[Albumen]

If using jumpers and bags, the probability of 'post and in' is greater.

 

[pasty]

....which of course leads to a massive argument at the end of the match....

Often decided to by the ball owner who will stop the game and go home if the decision goes against him or his team.

Or by the boy with the biggest dad or elder bother

 

[Mackenzie]

A foul is only given for three things.
(i) Blood injury (usually knee)
(ii) Ripped trousers (usually knee)
(iii) Tears (usually from a hurt knee)

The foul is given in the form of a penalty.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The order of picking of sides is strictly adhered to. The unwritten rules clearly state that the wheezing fat kid with specs shall be picked last.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

If the ball goes out of play by entering a garden or other enclosed space, the person who last touched it has to go and retrieve it.

 

[Pavilionaire]

1. We play even if it is raining.

2. In the absence of a ball a substitute may be applied, i.e. a stone.

3. The last one left when picking teams is the fat kid and by law he must go in goal.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

We play until either:

a) it gets dark
b) ball owner has to go home for his tea
c) a teacher blows a whistle

 

[Munkfish]

The captains of each team are...

The owner of the ball.

one of his mates but not his best mate, as he will be first pick for the owner of the ball.

No girls allowed

if anyone who is not allowed to play trys to join in, they shall be literally kicked out of the game, generally ending up with a bundle/pile on.

Footwear of choice, base Loafers or kickers.

final whistle: when lunch break is over/the sun goes down.

transfers can happen mid game if the teams are deemed unfair by both captains.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Everyone gets to "be" the most famous current England goal scorer with the exception of the wheezing fat kid in goal and Muriel from 2C

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The unwritten rules of playground football shall adhere to a general approximation of the unwritten British rules of fair play at all times.

 

[METALMICKY]

Quality of ball may vary but plaintively encouraged are those plastic black and white balls that wobble midair thus convincing even the worst player that they can bend it like a Brazilian

Next goals the winner must of course be shouted by the team up to that point are losing heavily. In addition, this chant will eminate from the kid who is late for his tea

Strategies such as "goal hanging ", "hunting in packs" and of course "rush goalie " are encouraged

The player who actually owns the ball has the power to strop off lest any decision go against him or his team

Having rounded the goalie you may quickly drop to your knees and nudge the ball over the line teasingly as the keeper tries to get back

Bored keepers are permitted to surreptitiously move one of the jumper posts in thus shortening width of goal

In an attempt to recreate the Sepp Mair look you will don an old pair of gardening gloves. And all goalies must wear gloves to signify their position thereby preventing a new player declaring he is the rush goalie as he handles the ball to prevent a certain goal

If having the luxury of playing on grass there will ultimately always be a dog poo incident

When returning home you will deny all accusations that you have been playing despite your nice new Clarke's shoes being scuffed to hell

 

[The Large One]

If a girl does play, her goals don't count - she was 'offside'.

The penalty area is an undetermined size and distance from the goal.

You can shout and claim to be 'Rush goalie' if the ball is coming towards you at chest height near your goal.

 

[Munkfish]

If a girl does play, her goals don't count - she was 'offside'.

Nope. girls dont play, in such incident a girl does to decide to play, the ball will be picked up and the game postponed until she leaves the footballing area.

 

[elninobonito]

Not allowed in the penalty area and players can change side at any time depending on score.

 

[METALMICKY]

Approved team selection methods will include :

Pigeon steps
IP dip dog shit
Spuds e.g. one potato, two potato
Racing car number nine rhyme
Splits with penknife

Fat kid goes in goal first and the huge kid way too big for his age is a great selection even if he has all the skills of Mark Farrington

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Chance keeper meaning anyone could attempt to save (seldom used ) next goal wins it.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Last pick don't play

 

[Official Old Man]

Playground football, that's 45 years ago.
1/ Whoever was nearest to goal at any time was the goalie and could handle the ball.
2/ Seem to remember a lad called Spangles who only ever stood on the goal line and got the last touch for any goal.
3/ I was always on the losing side.

 

[Beezer]

Players can come and go when they want, finding you have lost half your team ,
as they lose interest.

 

[The Large One]

Everyone is referred to by their surname only.

Broken windows means you lost a goal.