Song titles or lyrics that are palpably untrue.

[Schrödinger's Toad]

I'm not sure how Roberta Flack was being killed (softly or otherwise) with anyone's song. Perhaps she was being to forced to listen at an excessive volume, thereby causing internal bleeding. On the other hand, she may have had her head placed between drum and drummer, although this wouldn't have been very soft at all.

 

[Withnail]

With the lights out it's less dangerous sang Kurt Cobain.
Try telling that to Mrs Withnail after she tripped over the bag I'd left in the middle of the bedroom.

 

[Titanic]

However much Paul Weller may rant, I don't believe that the public gets what the public wants - not in Blair's Britain anyway.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Nick Berry once sang Every Loser Wins. Try telling that to Martin Hinshelwood...

 

[bathseagull]

There's a line on Richard Ashcroft's first album where he's singing about his missus and says

"....she's a university"

That can't be right

 

[Titanic]

However much Paul Weller may rant, I don't believe that the public gets what the public wants - not in Blair's Britain anyway.

And another thing, Weller... the SKY is not BURNING - how stupid is that ??

 

[Bwian]

There's a line on Richard Ashcroft's first album where he's singing about his missus and says

"....she's a university"

That can't be right

Might be a comment about how many students have been through her?

 

[Gazwag]

"You packed your bags as I recall
And you walked slowly down the hall
You said you had to get away to ease your mind
And all you needed was just a little of time"

Well Nathan Jones really told Bananarama a total lie, he was leaving you to play for Brighton you silly cows.

"Nathan Jones you've been gone to long" not still waiting for him to come back are you

 

[Withnail]

The Monkees promised "Take the last train to Clarkesville and I'll meet you at the station". Did the fuckers show up? Did they arse!
Mind you Davy Jones did think I thought of him as a white knight on a stead which I'd like to make quite clear I didn't. A Mancunian midget maybe.

 

[Titanic]

And if you think ENTERTAINMENT is...

"Pissing down with rain on a boring Wednesday,
Watching the news and not eating your tea,
A freezing cold flat and damp on the walls."

then you are sadly deluded Mr Weller.

It's not entertainment, it sounds really dull.

 

[Pavilionaire]

I agree, Weller is a serial liar.

Smearing your groin with chocolate spread and getting Girls Aloud to lick it off IS entertainment, but "opening the windows and breathing in petrol" certainly ISN'T!

 

[Easy 10]

Bananarama once collectively claimed that they "stand accused of love in the first degree".

I studied law for six years at Harvard, and I can assure you that there is no such crime as 'love in the first degree'. Further to this, they go on to claim that "the judge and the jury, they all put the blame on me". It is not for a judge OR jury to apportion blame per-se. The jury will arrive at their decision following a due process of legal representation from both the prosecution and defence, and the judge will oversee these proceedings to ensure that they are conducted appropriately. IF found guilty, the judge will then pass sentence within the pre-ordained parameters of the law - this does not involved "blaming" anyone. It is a decision carefully arrived at through considering the evidence and testimony presented by experts and key witnesses during the hearing.

I would however suggest that Banarama DO stand accused of persistant acoustic abuse and crimes against bleach.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Easy - I think I've just wet myself

 

[Icy Gull]

The Indians send signals
From the rocks above the pass
The cowboys take positions
In the bushes and the grass
The squaw is with the Corporal
She is tied against the tree
She doesn't mind the language
It's the beating she don't need
She lets loose all the horses
When the Corporal is asleep
And he wakes to find the fire's dead
And arrows in his hats
And Davy Crockett rides around
And says it's cool for cats


Was Davy Crockett some sort of nutter then

 

[Marc]

Manic Monday by The Bangles

Well I'm sorry but every working monday I've ever known has been drab & annoying as you realise you've got a whole week of wrok to do. if thats not enough the weekend hangover kicks in and you feel like shit, not Manic at all!

 

[Seagullible]

Gerry and the pacemakers got it a little bit wrong. I was going home the other evening and there was no-one in site so I was definately walking alone

 

[Barnet Seagull]

I'm surprised that 60's artists the Hollies are still with us.

They told an entire generation that 'All you need is the air that you breathe and to love someone'

Now I'm no scientist but Basal Metablolic Rate (BMR) denotes

C6H12O6 + 6O2 =6CO2 + 6H2O.

Missed out Glucose there didn't you, ya manc twats.

 

[Titanic]

That CAT STEVENS, he's got a lot to answer for !

I used to belive his Matthew and Son lyric... but after missing several vital appointments, it is now quite clear to me that "Up at eight, you can’t be late" is NOT TRUE.

Thanks a bunch, CAT (and it's a stupid name anyway, so I'm not surprised you changed it!!)

 

[rool]

Kate Bush sang 'the man with a child in his eyes'.

That's clearly untrue, unless it was a pupil?

 

[Gazwag]

Eternal Flame, my arse