whitestrat
New member
- Dec 19, 2012
- 9
If the ball should pass over a stray sleeve pointing inwards in the goal mouth, it is still considered 'post'
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Unwritten rules or playground football...
- Thread starter Munkfish
- Start date
Winker
CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE
When taking a shot, the striker must shout the name of his favourite player when he does so - like "Roooooneeeyyy!" (and then he misses...)
Man of Harveys
Well-known member
Or "D Day" - D for "dirty". Minor near-fisticuffs could at times ensue as a result.
Especially during games of Wembley pairs, when people would RUIN the game by thumping or dribbling the ball literally miles in the opposite direction from the solitary goal. These people would - rightly - generally be kicked so high up in the air, it made Schumacher on Battison in 1982 seem like two eskimos nose rubbing.
Especially on a warm sunny afternoon and feeling very bored at work here, this thread is making me CRAVE an old-school (literally) kickabout (literally). And it's D-Day.
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
In a restricted area and limited numbers a game known as "Wembley" was played - again 3-and-in for keeper rotation. Only way to score was with a header or a volley. To make it more interesting, sometimes 2 players were nominated as defenders.
Rohana
I'm.Actually.Dead.
When I was at middle school about 10 years ago -
Rush: Can swap keepers whenever you want, but it has to be obvious who was in goal. For instance if somebody has been playing outfield and then suddenly tips the ball round the post then it would be handball unless he'd stated that he was in goal.
Monkey Rush: Everyone could perform goalkeeping duties. It lead to scenes approaching Volleyball at times, when 2/3 players would combine efforts to push and parry the ball clear.
Followed by somebody then spending a good couple of minutes arguing that the post was too wide, and that it was actually in and SHOULD be a goal.
Inter-Year group matches would be 40-aside battles, which always contain at least one fight.
If the ball sailed over the post then "rebounds" could be called where the goalkeeper would face away from the pitch and throw the ball over his headto recreate the ball bouning off the post. Inevetably, he would throw it as far as possible, often leading to the other team scoring on the counter.
When discussing the game afterwards, all of your goals would have to be exagerated. Beating a man before scoring from 10 yards isn't good enough. You SKILLED your way past 4 defenders before hitting a shot in to the top corner from At LEAST 40 Yards
Knowing you're losing 9-7 but trying to blag that its 8-8, even though it means NOTHING as the game will be decided by Next Goal Wins
f a new kid turns up at your school you have to ask them "So, where abouts do you play?" knowing full well that'll they'll be a striker like every other member of your team.
Scoring an actual header was rarer than Dodo Shit.
Somebody would inevitably scream "Rugby" before picking the ball up, annihilating a smaller kid before throwing the ball in to the goal and claiming that it counted. (Mainly after the 2003 Rugby World Cup)
The age old argument when a ball goes over a fence.
"You go get it, you kicked it."
"Nah, it took a deflection off him which made it go over"
"No it didn't, it was already going way over."
"Well, I'm not getting it. It's not even my ball."
"Yeah, but you kicked it last."
Seeing a cool celebration on MOTD and having to copy in the very next time you scored. (I'm looking at you Jay-Jay Okocha.
Trying to figure out if any of the dinner ladies were actually secretly scouts for Brighton/Real Madrid/Arsenal as you round the goalkeeper and score a backheel from 2 yards out.
Rambo
Don't Push me
This thread has made me LOL 
When being fouled grabbing the ball as you go down proclaiming 'Iam having that'
When being fouled grabbing the ball as you go down proclaiming 'Iam having that'
Man of Harveys
Well-known member
Never mind the REMF. Let's have a sponsored game of WEMBLEY PAIRS played by fat, old men like me trying to act 15 again.
I'm IN.
coagulantwolf
New member
- Jun 21, 2012
- 716
I've always hated the perception of fat kids only being the keepers; I was slim, but then absolutely crap on pitch so got stuck in goal and ended up being fairly good at it!
smeariestbat
New member
- May 5, 2012
- 1,731
This!
withdeanwombat
Well-known member
The game ends when it is pitch dark, and the ball owner is the last man standing, and scores the winning goal before going home as World Cup Winner. No other goals count. Everybody blames everybody else for playing football and "forgetting" homework.
This player is then vilified by the other team and any slightly meaty challenges will result in him being shouted at by the opposition, labelling him a: "dirty tw@t...prick...bellend" etc and being told to f-off even if the tackle was perfectly reasonable (if my school days are anything to go by!)
tommyseagull
New member
- Jan 11, 2012
- 128
You are not onlyba player. You are a commentater aswell. Especially if you are running down the wing taking round everyone
DumLum
Well-known member
We called it 'Nut-Keeper' at Somerhill in the early eighties.
D
Deleted User X18H
Guest
If you're in sunshine , I'm in.
No we didn't! Not in my year anyway.
Brightonfan1983
Tiny member
Last one to *touch* it surely. Your long-range way-off-target effort that flies over the fence via the suspicion of a flick off the knee of the unfortunate tubby boy who didn't really want to play anyway and is only standing around near his own goal? He goes to fetch it, not you!