The Merry Prankster
Pactum serva
Whilst I never expect non addicts to understand addiction, how could they, I often get seduced by the idea that they may have enough humility to accept that they (luckily for them) simply don't understand it. In this I am often disappointed.
As a recovering addict (who travels away with a clean and sober crew) I know that we were all shocked and saddened by PSH's death. It was particularly sad (and frightening to us) because he had enjoyed 23 years of recovery. His relapse began on prescribed pain medication, the same as my brother in law who after 11 years relapsed starting on Neurofen Plus. It lights up that part of our brains that is different from yours with tragic results. The fact that he relapsed after such a long period of being clean, a period in which he achieved so much professionally and personally and his desperate attempts to quit again make it even more tragic.
The frightening part is that I am well aware that this could be me or anyone of the guys I go to the Albion with. Although we all have good recoveries, still attend meetings regularly, work to help other addicts etc. etc. We have no idea what is around the corner, illness, pain, loss, a degree of distress that is unmanageable for us. When you press the ****it button you get a hangover and a couple of days in the dog house if we push it the consequences can be fatal.
The really sad part of the reports into his death for me (and maybe only an addict will get this) is that he had 70 wraps of heroin in his flat. This this the behaviour of a man who thinks he has no way out of his addiction. A man who has lost all hope. He can't stop however desperately he wants or needs to. It is a despair that I know and hope none of you ever have to experience. I could weep for him.
As a recovering addict (who travels away with a clean and sober crew) I know that we were all shocked and saddened by PSH's death. It was particularly sad (and frightening to us) because he had enjoyed 23 years of recovery. His relapse began on prescribed pain medication, the same as my brother in law who after 11 years relapsed starting on Neurofen Plus. It lights up that part of our brains that is different from yours with tragic results. The fact that he relapsed after such a long period of being clean, a period in which he achieved so much professionally and personally and his desperate attempts to quit again make it even more tragic.
The frightening part is that I am well aware that this could be me or anyone of the guys I go to the Albion with. Although we all have good recoveries, still attend meetings regularly, work to help other addicts etc. etc. We have no idea what is around the corner, illness, pain, loss, a degree of distress that is unmanageable for us. When you press the ****it button you get a hangover and a couple of days in the dog house if we push it the consequences can be fatal.
The really sad part of the reports into his death for me (and maybe only an addict will get this) is that he had 70 wraps of heroin in his flat. This this the behaviour of a man who thinks he has no way out of his addiction. A man who has lost all hope. He can't stop however desperately he wants or needs to. It is a despair that I know and hope none of you ever have to experience. I could weep for him.
