[Albion] Things which are not currently criminal offences but which absolutely should be

[pearl]

Surely it's better to let people do this than shave them off and tattoo some on?

they don't do they?!

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

Anyone who uses the word "banter" in a non ironic way. Instant on the spot fine. It HAS to be stopped.

Anyone who refers to himself or his immediate group as a LAD or LADS.

Actually, it's likely both these rules are being broken by the same people.

 

[Gabbafella]

Push up bras. Blatant false advertising.

 

[Marshy]

People who put pencils behind the ear.
People who wear baseball caps back to front.
People who put shades on top of baseball caps back to front or not !

 

[narly101]

Adding to that, using the word are instead of our.

Adding to that, using "of" instead of "have".

 

[narly101]

Along with "could of".

Ah - already beaten to it.

 

[Publius Ovidius]

people pretending they didn't vote brexit because they are racists, it was because they want to bring back pounds shillings and pence and imperial weights , and not send home all the foreigners ...no sireee...

 

[narly101]

It's insane that anyone thinks this is acceptable to Facebook LIVE entire gigs. Record 10 seconds of your favourite song, fine. No point in doing more and you're ruining the experience for yourself and many others behind you.

If they don't stop, a full pint usually does.

 

[Eeyore]

Anyone who says 'Have a lovely rest of your day' should be sentenced to five years in grammar school.

 

[Megazone]

Moderators of football forums who use their powers to ruin and destroy the lives of so many innocent, normal, standard users.

 

[DumLum]

Yes. They do. Lots of young women getting eyebrows tattooed on. Holywood stars look great with theirs that probably cost a fortune. Most budget treatments look like they have been drawn on with a permanent marker pen.

 

[Tight shorts]

Double dipping at a function.. It is one dip only with your unbitten crudites or bread sticks, so make it a good one and under no circumstances are you allowed to bite and then dip that piece. Yuk

 

[narly101]

'Baby/Little Princess/Small person/etc On Board' car stickers.

I you have one, you're a c***, or more to the point, a c*** who can't drive properly. There is a direct correlation between these stickers and being an absolute reet behind the wheel.

There's a perfectly good explanantion for these. If the car is involved in an accident and the driver is unable to speak, then a very quick glance at the rear window of the car will notify the emergency services that there is another human "who may not be able to talk" in the back of the car.

Numbnuts.

 

[marlowe]

Taking part in historical re-enactments pre the invention of the wristwatch wearing a wristwatch.
Taking part in historical re-enactments pre the invention of spectacles wearing spectacles.
Taking part in historical re-enactments post the invention of spectacles wearing historically inaccurate spectacles from Specsavers.
Taking part in historical re-enactments.

 

[Carrot Cruncher]

There's a perfectly good explanantion for these. If the car is involved in an accident and the driver is unable to speak, then a very quick glance at the rear window of the car will notify the emergency services that there is another human "who may not be able to talk" in the back of the car.

Numbnuts.

Righto, so the sticker gets removed each time the child isn't in the car, yeah, so the emergency services don't waste valuable time looking for someone who isn't there?

 

[pearl]

People who put pencils behind the ear.
People who wear baseball caps back to front.
People who put shades on top of baseball caps back to front or not !

guilty of all three

 

[Marshy]

guilty of all three

2 years for each offence... out after 5 for good behaviour ;-)

 

[withdeanwombat]

I personally think I should get 3 years for writing this.

 

[Nixonator]

Rolling luggage and the majority who treat them like combine ****ing harvesters.

And the reverse for prams and shopping trolleys which are used as battering rams.

People who stop ponderously having just been through a busy ticket barrier (often with one of the aforementioned tools).

 

[JC Footy Genius]

Righto, so the sticker gets removed each time the child isn't in the car, yeah, so the emergency services don't waste valuable time looking for someone who isn't there?

You are meant to swap it for this one.