[Music] Worst song lyrics

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I seem to recall posting some of the dodgy lyrics (to say the least) by Anal C*nt a while back and got into trouble. Given that I recently got an infraction point for some other backfiring comedy, I'll leave it to the curious to explore this reprehensible ouvre.

 

[Soylent Blue]

On the ball city.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

This is super shit, not just for the lyrics, but the lyrics are standalone stinky.

Well we sang shang-a-lang as we ran with the gang
Doin' doo wop be dooby do ay
We were all in the news
With our blue suede shoes
And our dancin' the night away

 

[sams dad]

Elenore by The Turtles :

Elenore, gee I think you're swell
And you really do me well,
You're my pride and joy et cetera

 

[Weststander]

This is very hard to beat, yet it is a cracking track. Ironically, it is called P Machinery and despite emanating from der fatherland, the second line of the first verse it has nothing to do with German Liquids

Motor
Power - force - motion - drive
Power - force - motion - drive
Power - force - motion - drive
Power - force - motion - drive
Propaganda

On joyless lanes we walk in lines
A calm but steady flow
Accompanied by loud commands
Our strength is running low

Yet I love the actual music of P-Machinery.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Hard to beat

Maybe masked man he a poofter
Try it on with surly Tonto

From The Lone Ranger by Quantum Jump

Let me say to mister lawman
Tonto doesn't mind

I bought their album because the bass player used to be in Caravan. I thought that song was funny at the time. It seems so bad now, ticking every casual -ism wrong-box, it would be negligent of me to not post the entire song....

Taumatawhakatangihangakoayauo-
Tamateaturipukakapikimaungahoro-
Nukypokaiwhenuakitanatahu
Me Tonto Kimosabi
Me go and catchee baddy
Find him by the shady water
Deep within Apache forest
Find him, scalp him, eat him up for breakfast
Real good friend to Kimosabi
Save another silver bullet

Hi ho Silver away
Ride into tomorrow today
But who was that masked man you say
That was the Lone Ranger

Fill up pipe of peace for Tonto
Kimosabi friend and brother
He smoke pipe of peace with Tonto
Put his mask on back to fronto
Tonto fall about with laughter
He a head our great white brother
Even pass a tote to Silver
Mask man very untogether
Hi ho Silver away
Ride into tomorrow today
But who was that masked man you say
That was the Lone Ranger
TaumatawhakatangihangakoayauoTamateaturipukakapikimaungahoro-
Nukypokaiwhenuakitanatahu
Tonto know that Kimosabi
Never ever have a woman
Tonto sometime stop and wonder
What the trip with the great white brother
Maybe masked man he a poofter
Try it on with surly Tonto
Let me say to mister lawman
Tonto doesn't mind
Hi ho Silver away
Ride into tomorrow today
But who was that masked man you say
That was the Lone Ranger

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Yet I love the actual music of P-Machinery.

All 8+ versions? This is my favourite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ku68ZQo_g

 

[Weststander]

This song/track I despise more than any other. By Starship. Without knowing that I didn’t like it, when it came on the car radio a few years back, my young daughter starting laughing and taking the p out of “this boring song”. Here’s a sample of the cleverly crafted poetry:

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll, oh
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city

 

[Weststander]

All 8+ versions? This is my favourite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ku68ZQo_g

I bought the 12” when it came out, but it passed by UK heathens and didn’t make the top40, whereas many continentals got it.

Did you hear this type of music in Vancouver at the time?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

This song/track I despise more than any other. By Starship. Without knowing that I didn’t like it, when it came on the car radio a few years back, my young daughter starting laughing and taking the p out of “this boring song”. Here’s a sample of the cleverly crafted poetry:

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, don't you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock an' roll, oh
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city
We built, we built this city
Built this city
Built this city

Yes, that's grim. Grim.

I'll give you two others, but would rather poke my eyes out than paste the complete lyrics:

Crazy Horses, (wooo, wooo); the great ecology planet-saving single by The Osmond Brothers, and
Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny and the Jets; by a genuine dullard.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Elenore by The Turtles :

Elenore, gee I think you're swell
And you really do me well,
You're my pride and joy et cetera

I love the record and always have, but yes the lyrics are rubbish.

But there's a reason for that. The Turtles wanted to do more interesting and experimental stuff, as they saw the Beatles and Stones doing, but their record company insisted on them churning out more happy poppy stuff. So they deliberately churned out some really cheesy rubbish, which I think personally is so bad it's funny.

 

[dangull]

Are we human or are we dancers by The Killers?
I have no idea what this is actually supposed to mean.

 

[Guinness Boy]

"But tonight thank God it's them, instead of you" - Band Aid

Delivered, for extra effect, by that arch **** Bono

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I bought the 12” when it came out, but it passed by UK heathens and didn’t make the top40, whereas many continentals got it.

Did you hear this type of music in Vancouver at the time?

Mate, I found Propaganda by watching community TV on channel whatever (10, I think) on Friday night in Vancouver in 84 where two lads (one English) showed vids. The original P Machinery, and Dr Mabuse were big faves of mine. I absolutely love the voice of one of the singers (she later formed 'Act' who did a hilarious cover of Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - look it up).

The version of P Machinery I posted is a 95 remix. I loved it so much I bought two copies on vinyl. It is a sort of proto trance track, of the euphoric variety that still tickles my cerebellum.

Another channel 10 vid I LOVED (especially after, ahem, indulgence) is this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-K2DZojWi0

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I love the record and always have, but yes the lyrics are rubbish.

But there's a reason for that. The Turtles wanted to do more interesting and experimental stuff, as they saw the Beatles and Stones doing, but their record company insisted on them churning out more happy poppy stuff. So they deliberately churned out some really cheesy rubbish, which I think personally is so bad it's funny.

Flo and Eddie, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman. Did backing vocals on Electric Warrior (T Rex), and for Frank Zappa. There is a live version of (I think the title is) 'Happy Together' that they do as a finale/segue to a Zappa song, and it is eye wateringly beautiful.

 

[Eeyore]

'If I had words
To make a day for you
I'd sing you a morning golden and new
'I would make this day
Last for all time
Give you a night
deep in moonshine'


The old Scott Fitzgerald song. Still liked it though- until it came back.

Unfortunately the writer clearly didn't have words after the first verse and kept repeating it... and repeating it.

And obviously took a lot of royalties when it was used for 'Babe'.

 

[Weststander]

Yes, that's grim. Grim.

I'll give you two others, but would rather poke my eyes out than paste the complete lyrics:

Crazy Horses, (wooo, wooo); the great ecology planet-saving single by The Osmond Brothers, and
Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny and the Jets; by a genuine dullard.

I was just literally at infants/juniors when crap by the likes of Osmonds, Mud and Brotherhood of Man were big. I can even remember Crazy Horses at a youth centre disco for 7 year olds. Even then, I genuinely didn’t like all that dirge. I’d been brought up from the age dot on amazing 60’s music plus Bowie (thank you Dad).

A common narrative, but it makes perfect sense that huge numbers of teens and twenties then embarked naturally on a musical revolution from 1976 onwards, sweeping aside much of the mainstream crap. Forever grateful to all those punk and New Waves bands and some impresarios.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I have always had a soft spot for foreign bands who make the effort to sing in English. Sometimes the results are tragic. German bands fare the wurst. Take the following example from a band (actually Austrian which ,as e, ryone knows, is the same thing as German) I had lots of time for 20 years ago, L'Âme Immortelle:

On snow covered mountains
My soul lies to sleep
Silent crying inside
My pain is so deep

Counting the days
As time passes by
Thinking of past times
I break down and cry

Life will never be the same again

Counting timeless tears
Which I spillt for you
You are my obsession
I don't know where you're gone to
I dream a dream of Hope
Under Moonlit stars
Tortured by reality
Which has left it's scars

In a World without feelings
My dreams are all dead
No one beside me
I know where I am at

Embracing the Silence
In my loneliness
Trying not to fear
All the things I posses

Just so I make sure there is no societal sector I haven't offended with this post, the singer has an exceptional pair of lungs.

 

[Weststander]

Mate, I found Propaganda by watching community TV on channel whatever (10, I think) on Friday night in Vancouver in 84 where two lads (one English) showed vids. The original P Machinery, and Dr Mabuse were big faves of mine. I absolutely love the voice of one of the singers (she later formed 'Act' who did a hilarious cover of Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - look it up).

The version of P Machinery I posted is a 95 remix. I loved it so much I bought two copies on vinyl. It is a sort of proto trance track, of the euphoric variety that still tickles my cerebellum.

Another channel 10 vid I LOVED (especially after, ahem, indulgence) is this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-K2DZojWi0

Claudia Brucken, I love her, a legend and still going strong.

 

[Lower West Stander]

Can’t post it but Paralysed by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy has undoubtedly the worst lyrics of anything I’ve ever heard.

If someone could do the honours you’d know what meant!


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