Words or phrases only used by tabloid newspapers

[Lady Whistledown]

"Manhood", usually in the context of stories about nightclub-haunting, footballer-sharking slappers*, or Cristiano Ronaldo snapped on holiday wearing super-tight Speedos.

*Who will then tell the world how said footballer "bedded" her, before being tearfully stunned to find he doesn't call in the morning.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

'Fury' - presumably cos its a bit shorter than 'Mild Annoyance'

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"Tot" to describe a small child, as in "Dad Fury at Madonna Tot Fiasco"

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

'Travel Chaos' = a bit of roadworks and some replacement bus services on the rail network over a bank holiday

 

[Tooting Gull]

'Wacko'* and 'Bonkers'*. Symptomatic of a responsible approach to all mental health issues.

*See Michael Jackson and Frank Bruno.

 

[dougdeep]

"Brighton Star"

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

"Megabucks" - used in any transfer rumour involving the Albion.

 

[Tooting Gull]

That funny-looking fella who was in charge at West Ham was called the 'Biscuit Baron'...before his finances, err, crumbled.

 

[Grendel]

Loverat, who, of course, will also have a lovenest.

 

[Easy 10]

"Super-agent"
For some reason Pini Zahavi seems to have exlusive rights to this term. His name can never, ever be mentioned in a redtop without it being prefixed with "super-agent". What, does he dive into a phonebox and pull his underpants out over his trousers before doing a deal ?

 

[Norman Potting]

"Fury", "Outrage","Rage" - Usually used by the Mail or Express when a few people are mildly annoyed by something which doesn't really affect them much, if at all. "Tzar" is another one - why don't they just say "Head of....".

 

[Gilliver's Travels]

'Gems', as in "£3 million haul in Mayfair gems raid". 'Gems' is a word I have never used in my life. Has anyone? Nor 'haul', for that matter.

In footie reports... 'Carbon copy' to describe any repeated incident or goal. And a 'slide-rule' pass. Most readers will have never seen either of these examples of early 20th century technology.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

'Hoodwink' - i've only ever seen that word in the tabloids. Surprising that it's used considering trick and cheat are shorter.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Loverat, who, of course, will also have a lovenest.

Big respect to Micky Adams, who memorably got the phrase 'Burgess Hill lovenest' into the red-tops first time round.

 

[Taybha]

Police suspect foul play!!!! Ergo.....after a mans body parts were found in 3 different counties. Keep up the good work lads

 

[Gilliver's Travels]

1) Probe, as in "Cops Probe Murder Millionaire's Car"

And, as I'm sure you know, Edna, after a bit more of that probing, cops may then decide to 'swoop'. Only possible between 5 and 7am apparently.

And if the swooped upon property is worth more than £250,000 (or £120,000 if oop north), you can be sure it'll be a 'mansion'.

 

[Rambo]

Always remember the headline 'Barry Fry in 'I quit' riddle. Still makes me laugh.

Riddle?
LOL

 

[Lady Whistledown]

And, as I'm sure you know, Edna, after a bit more of that probing, cops may then decide to 'swoop'. Only possible between 5 and 7am apparently.

And if the swooped upon property is worth more than £250,000 (or £120,000 if oop north), you can be sure it'll be a 'mansion'.

The mansion in question will be owned by a minor local businessman who, if not a supremo or a powerbroker, will almost certainly be a tycoon. Next time I'm at work, I shall try to get the word "swoop" into my arrest statement

Swoop, incidentally, may also be used in the context of a football club purchasing a new employee (see also "nab", "raid").

And the said swoop/raid will be instigated by a manager who's just been handed a £x million transfer war-chest by his moneybags chairman.

 

[Tooting Gull]

With the raw material on this thread, I reckon you could write a short story that would get in the Mirror. Or certainly the Star.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

They've got a splendid one in Oz. If somebody gets beaten up, they don't get beaten up, they get 'bashed'