Shopping at via this link helps to support NSC

[Football] What type of football daddy are you?

Welcome to North Stand Chat - the biggest and best Brighton & Hove Albion fan site.

Go on - join - you know you want to! (Pssst: you'll get fewer ads too!)

E

Eric Youngs Contact Lense

Guest
This is a subject close to my heart.. I was a spectating dad, who kept opinions (of which I had many having played/watched for so many years) to myself. I was happy to help out setting up goals, taking down nets and then would referee the odd game (This was U7 - U8). Then became an "assistant" coach to my older son's team, became a coach of my younger sons team when nobody was there to run it, up to U18 and am now Chair of the Club and coaching U5 - U7 ! It's interesting to see parents, mainly dads, watching their kids play. The vast majority are grateful for the time coaches/volunteers put in. Some cannot help but "coach" their son/daughter during training and matches. This normally comes from a good place but can be annoying, especially when it is contradictory to the things you are trying to coach. The fear that some parents have of their kids making a mistake, giving away a goal etc is so powerful. A lad playing defence is told to boot it, GK encouraged to kick long all the time, parents paying their kids a goal bonus! I actually believe that the tone and attitude of the coach is the one that sets the tone for the accompanying parents. A "chippy" coaching group tends to have "chippy" parents and that often makes for a more unpleasant atmosphere. I often found that those teams were also the most short-lived.. certainly they struggled when their teams started to struggle.
 


Weststander

Members
Aug 25, 2011
53,794
Withdean area
This is a subject close to my heart.. I was a spectating dad, who kept opinions (of which I had many having played/watched for so many years) to myself. I was happy to help out setting up goals, taking down nets and then would referee the odd game (This was U7 - U8). Then became an "assistant" coach to my older son's team, became a coach of my younger sons team when nobody was there to run it, up to U18 and am now Chair of the Club and coaching U5 - U7 ! It's interesting to see parents, mainly dads, watching their kids play. The vast majority are grateful for the time coaches/volunteers put in. Some cannot help but "coach" their son/daughter during training and matches. This normally comes from a good place but can be annoying, especially when it is contradictory to the things you are trying to coach. The fear that some parents have of their kids making a mistake, giving away a goal etc is so powerful. A lad playing defence is told to boot it, GK encouraged to kick long all the time, parents paying their kids a goal bonus! I actually believe that the tone and attitude of the coach is the one that sets the tone for the accompanying parents. A "chippy" coaching group tends to have "chippy" parents and that often makes for a more unpleasant atmosphere. I often found that those teams were also the most short-lived.. certainly they struggled when their teams started to struggle.

Genuinely, I've never heard of that before.
:lol:
 
E

Eric Youngs Contact Lense

Guest
Genuinely, I've never heard of that before.
:lol:

It's mad right? But I have experienced it on a number of occasions, often a younger age too - imagine trying to encourage the essence of Teamwork, passing to the player in space when little Johnny is on £5 a goal!
 

dejavuatbtn

Members
Aug 4, 2010
6,010
Henfield
I was the idiot that wanted my two lads to enjoy football so much I helped form a team, then a club and it ended up costing me thirty years of my life!
During this time I had to deal with some very nice people and quite a number of idiots that took a disproportionate amount of my time.
 

Monkey Man

Your support is not that great
Jan 30, 2005
2,910
Neither here nor there
Some very strange things happen in youth football and it brings out the best and worst in a lot of dads and coaches.

At our club the manager ended up resigning because of the antics of some quite unpleasant parents whose kids had recently joined. Quite rightly he decided he didn't need the hassle.

His replacement was a nice guy but instead of nurturing the talented group he had, most of whom had played together for years and were good friends, he started bringing in "better" players from outlying areas and this of course alienated kids and parents alike. Sure, we won some tournaments and had a promotion, but at the cost of breaking up the original gang. Purely for his own ego.

I kept my head down as much as possible during games and tried to do my bit in other ways to support the club and manager(s). We had some fun times but I was glad when it all came to an end because the enjoyment factor had long gone.
 


Jul 6, 2003
2,116
......, parents paying their kids a goal bonus! I a/QUOTE]

My 9 year old is on ALL sorts of bonuses!! Goal bonus, headed bonus (50p - he hates heading the ball!!), left foot goal extra bonus (he's so right footed it's unbelievable). The best one we've come up with is a £50 bonus IF he scores a left foot volley that hits the crossbar and comes down with a resounding 'ping' and in (a la Yeboah for Leeds against Liverpool back in the day!!) Suffice it to say that my wallet has stayed very closed this season, as he has only scored one goal and refuses to head the ball!!!

As to what type of football daddy I am............well, away from home I stand on the touchlines and stay pretty quiet, apart from the odd shout of encouragement. Remeber back in the day when I used to play football and rugby, my father and the other parents stayed pretty quiet and I tend to do the same. The 'shouty' dads are d1cks.

Games at home I ref, so have a bird's eye view of the action and will tell the boys as quietly as I can where they should be standing at corners and who to mark!!
Happy Days!!
 

Pudos

Members
Aug 18, 2015
125
My mates kid was playing in a match in Hove, 15 I think the kid was. Two parents arguing got into a punch up and one of the dads bit the others ear off. I know it was all over the news at the time and the dad, one doing the boring was arrested but can't remember what he got.

Here we go. It was a dad and manager.

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/6761429.jail-for-biting-off-ear/

Was just outside Shoreham Football Club. I was at a different game nearby. Ran kids teams for years, always surrounded by expert dads, most ok, but some moaned, shouted, slated me, ref their kids etc...real experts - all became very quiet when I asked if someone could run the line or take training next week as I was on duty...I liked the coaching etc but parents - made me give up
 

Silverhatch

Members
Feb 23, 2009
3,492
Preston Park
Coaching kids is brilliant. Managing parents is a ****ing nightmare. Fortunately more good parents than bad - but the bad ones are incredibly toxic. Bit like everyday life.
 

raymondo

Members
Apr 26, 2017
2,642
Wiltshire
First: I encourage my midfield son to tackle more, whereas the coach has told him to jockey!
Second: I try to remember his best pass and best shot, cos I know he'll ask me on the way home.
 

Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
30,463
Uffern
I must say, as someone who coaches rugby and cricket, I can't recall any problems with parents at either sport - they're all very supportive. At the start of the rugby season, we send out an email to parents reminding them not to coach their kids from the sidelines

You do get the odd idiot at other clubs but very, very few. There are some bad coaches around though, there definitely some clubs where I wouldn't want to send my kids.

When my kids played they were very keen on getting feedback as to what they'd done well and what they hadn't. They've both given up rugby now but my son gave up because I wasn't coaching his team - I was at another club - so I don't think he had any problems with my sticking my oar in.
 

Sirnormangall

Members
Sep 21, 2017
2,341
Coaching kids is brilliant. Managing parents is a ****ing nightmare. Fortunately more good parents than bad - but the bad ones are incredibly toxic. Bit like everyday life.

I totally agree. The kids are generally fine and it’s very rewarding to see how they develop and, above all, how much fun they have.

Most of the parents are also great and appreciate that the coaches and officials are volunteers. Sadly there’s a small minority who expect the coach to turn their kid into Lionel Messi with an hour of coaching each week. They slag off the referees - and then complain about and wonder why there’s no regular ref for the matches. They just don’t get it when you explain that the reason there’s a shortage of refs is due to aggressive parents!
 

Stat Brother

Members
Jul 11, 2003
69,397
West west west Sussex
Jnr once gave the ref a bit of 'never, ref' backchat.

I called out words to the effect:-

'one more word out of you and I'll take you off myself, with no idea when you'll be back'.
He's never said another word, to the ref, since.


I guess that makes me the 'law and order dad'.
 


dejavuatbtn

Members
Aug 4, 2010
6,010
Henfield
First: I encourage my midfield son to tackle more, whereas the coach has told him to jockey!
Second: I try to remember his best pass and best shot, cos I know he'll ask me on the way home.

In the early days of running a team I had one of the best centre forwards in his under 12 age group. Small but had a bit of strength, terrific ball skills and scored goals for fun. The biggest problem I had was that his dad would always get him to drift out to the wing to be available for the ball. He never said anything but would always be beckoning to him and pointing to the line. I already had a winger and wanted this lad where he was of better use to the team, which was more central. The dad basically wrecked the set up for the side.
He eventually moved on to another club, and we missed his goals, but overall didn’t miss him - because of his dad.
 

Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
70,607
Living In a Box
Managed eldest from U8 to U16 and can happily state the parents are the worst of the lot by a country mile. Totally unhelpful match days to the point of complaining about directions to away games etc. The boys were fine and included duties for the whole team was setting up nets home games, clearing up dog crap pre KO and nets down post match.

As the boys got older less parents turned up and those that did the kids would soon tell their parents to do one when required, it helped I had two excellent assistants and one player whose Dad was a County ref so always available.

The worst thing was opposition with cheating linesman, total ****ing pricks beyond belief.
 

raymondo

Members
Apr 26, 2017
2,642
Wiltshire
In the early days of running a team I had one of the best centre forwards in his under 12 age group. Small but had a bit of strength, terrific ball skills and scored goals for fun. The biggest problem I had was that his dad would always get him to drift out to the wing to be available for the ball. He never said anything but would always be beckoning to him and pointing to the line. I already had a winger and wanted this lad where he was of better use to the team, which was more central. The dad basically wrecked the set up for the side.
He eventually moved on to another club, and we missed his goals, but overall didn’t miss him - because of his dad.

Ok, ok... I'll keep my mouth shut :blush: Actually, son says he never hears me as he's focused on the game 👍. Some kids though I do see getting pulled left and right by parental 'coaching', and you are right.
 

Paying the bills

Latest Discussions

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Top