What next? A thread of things that could still block Falmer

[Lady Whistledown]

1. A freak earthquake causes a giant crater to appear in the middle of the field, scuppering all chances of building on it and creating a new national tourist attraction

2. Norman Baker does a secret deal to buy the land, to form a sanctuary for persecuted members of the tree-hugging community to live on

3. The US defence department requisition the field from the British Government in order to use it to launch missiles at Iran

4. David Attenborough announces he's moving into Falmer Way for three years to film a new series of Life On Earth

5. An unexpected bat-vehicle collision half a mile along the road to Woodingdean causes Ruth Kelly to reconsider the decision on environmental grounds

 

[Barrel of Fun]

6. Falmer village is uncovered as the British based AL Qaeda headquarters and WMD are stored under a field earmakred for development by B&H council. Which would explain why they are so keen to keep the diggers out.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

7. The club use Mcghee to come up with tactics to help in court case.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

7. The club use Mcghee to come up with tactics to help in court case.

Unfortunately his plan to put the office junior in the hot seat, and leave Jonathon Clay making the tea backfires. Clay's tea is shit.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

An alien craft lands one night in Village Way South, taking captive several pissed university students and the landlord of the Swan Inn.

The FBI move in to investigate, cordoning off a large area and declaring it off limits for a period of ten years, or until it is discovered what the aliens have done to the landlord to make him talk such unintelligible rubbish.

 

[Muhammed - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

someone discovers a crested newt





or something

 

[withdeanwombat]

Common sense prevails and 600 acres of land are recovered from the sea between the piers.A brilliant new stadium is built and Sir Mark McGhee leads out a team of superstars to challenge for the Premiership.The Albion have a team of England stars,and the Stadium is filled to its 75000 capacity each game.The Hotels built facing the sea are home to the millionaire set attracted to the club and the stadium development.The stadium itself is called the Bakerdrome in honour of its inspiration.

Lewes District Council have an executive box funded by its ratepayers,who never get an invitation to it.

Forfars are the caterers.

 

[seagully]

The same builders that are constructing Wembley are contracted to start work on Falmer. The stadium finally gets finished in 2025

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The mystery Russian investor finally reveals himself in buying the club. He decides he is homesick so relocates the club to Siberia. Albion fans are forced to endure a 37 hour round trip (The Costa Express).

 

[Lady Whistledown]

The stadium gets approved and built, but on the day before it's due to host its first game, a resident of Preston Park Avenue complains that the refuse collection needs of the site haven't been taken into account, and the wheelie bin that gets put outside for an hour a week before the binners arrive, is unsightly and out of keeping with the landscape.

The city's newly elected Green councillors agree, and order the stadium to be pulled down, pending a redesign taking into consideration recycling facilities and a bit of hedging to disguise the green bin.

 

[bhafc99]

The stadium gets approved and built, but on the day before it's due to host its first game, a resident of Preston Park Avenue complains that the refuse collection needs of the site haven't been taken into account, and the wheelie bin that gets put outside for an hour a week before the binners arrive, is unsightly and out of keeping with the landscape.

The city's newly elected Green councillors agree, and order the stadium to be pulled down, pending a redesign taking into consideration recycling facilities and a bit of hedging to disguise the green bin.

I thought we were doing silly 'flight of fancy' ideas - that one's far too realistic.

 

[Publius Ovidius]

whilst digging the foundations, a saxon burial ground is found on the site and the Time Team go in and the Government halt work on the site

 

[Basil Fawlty]

Falmer is unearthed as a Dinosaur burial ground.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Falmer is unearthed as a Dinosaur burial ground.

Who buried the dinosaurs? The cavemen?

 

[Basil Fawlty]

Who buried the dinosaurs? The cavemen?

Fred and Barney.

 

[bhafc99]

Who buried the dinosaurs?

The LibDems.

 

[Tubby Mondays]

LDC discover that Lord Canning is intending to attend games there and obtain an injunction on the grounds that he has been known to omit noxious gasses.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The LibDems.

I thought the Seagulls party were going to bury the Lib Dems.

Fred and Barney.

[Insert silly question adage]

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Late in 2007, a mysterious Doomsday cult emerges overnight, erecting a temple on the site.

Fences appear all around Falmer village, and the occupants of the compound are seen only periodically, carrying out the work of the Great Master, while wearing red and blue striped robes. Ruth Kelly is reluctant to intervene, stating that Britain has a tolerant attitude towards bizarre religious practices, and introducing a new law stating that they can only be removed after a period of ten years.

A recruitment drive commences in the Falmer and Lewes district, at which point dozens of local children start disappearing daily. Norman Baker, having unsuccessfully attempted to contact the Pied Piper of Hamelin, is forced to crawl on his hands and knees to the Albion, begging Dick Knight to raid the site, demolish the temple and instead build a new temple to the wonders of football.

Dick Knight says "kiss my arse, Baker" and calls the FBI, who smash into the compound under the cover of darkness, to find statues of Anne DeVecchi everywhere. The children are retrieved, and, ever grateful, Falmer Parish Council agree to hand over the land to the Albion in order to construct a more appropriate monument to the saving of the kids.

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

The mystery Russian investor finally reveals himself in buying the club. He decides he is homesick so relocates the club to Siberia. Albion fans are forced to endure a 37 hour round trip (The Costa Express).

but still well worth it when travelling with Liz.