todays joke!

[brighton rock]

The Queen was visiting one of London's top hospitals and she specified
>she wanted to see absolutely everything.

>During her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was w*nking. "oh my", said the Queen, that's disgraceful,what is the meaning of this?"

>The Doctor leading the tour explains; "I am sorry your Majesty,but this man has a very serious medical condition and is only following doctors orders. His body produces too much semen and his testicles keep overfilling. Until we can find out exactly what is causing this problem he's been instructed to do that at least 5 times a day or there is a danger that his testicles will explode,and he would die instantly. "Oh, I am sorry", said the Queen.

>On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a bl*w-job "Oh my", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
>The Doctor replied, "Same problem, but he's with Bupa".

 

[aftershavedave]

circa 1982 i'd say

 

[Blackadder]

:

 

[CAFC Matt]

 

[Hiney]

circa 1982 i'd say

True, but still quality

 

[SurreySeagulls]

Still funny though. Might think about going on BUPA myself

 

[brighton rock]

The Cat

One day a little cat was walking through the park when he came across a pond. He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond there was a little cocktail sausage. The cat was feeling quite peckish so as the water wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it. The next day the cat was walking through the park again and he peered into the pond again there was another sausage but this time it was a normal sized one so the cat reached in but this time he had to put his whole arm into the pond. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it. The next day the cat looked into the pond and found an enormous Cumberland sausage at the bottom of the pond it looked so delicious, but it was so huge that he had to actually put the whole of his body into the pond to get the sausage. He ate it and found it very tasty!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY.......(ur gonna love this)





























The bigger the Sausage - the wetter the Pussy !!!

 

[dougdeep]

But cats don't have arms.