Thread full of "sickie" excuses for tomorrow

[portlock seagull]

The more inventive the better! Peopl will be relying on NSC to give creditable reasons why they can't come to work because they're monitoring the net, talking to friends etc.

 

[Scotty Mac]

leprasy

 

[fatboy]

leprasy

That aint half bad.


I think companies give you a day off for moving house.

We are in a way.

 

[Yorkie]

I spilled superglue on my hand and cannot get away from my pc at home.

 

[Yorkie]

I superglued my hand to my mouse?
fortuanately my right hand, with fingers free to use the buttons...

Oy; you nicked my idea

 

[fatboy]

I superglued my hand to my mouse?
fortuanately my right hand, with fingers free to use the buttons...

Unplug it and use it on your work PC.

 

[Scotty Mac]

milaria

 

[Safeway]

Don't start until 10 and I've already told my boss that if it's a no then I'm going to hang myself.

 

[the full harris]

clap

 

[fatboy]

I don't want my office to find out that I am a football fan.

Because when I start going sick on Tuesday afternoons they will know where I am going.

 

[Safeway]

 

[Scotty Mac]

broken rectum

 

[fatboy]

broken rectum

Rectal Prolapse

Patients with rectal prolapse report a mass protruding through the anus. Initially, the mass protrudes from the anus only after a bowel movement and usually retracts when the patient stands up. As the disease process progresses, the mass protrudes more often, especially with straining and Valsalva maneuvers such as sneezing or coughing. Finally, the rectum prolapses with daily activities such as walking and may progress to continual prolapse.

As the disease progresses, the rectum no longer spontaneously retracts, and patients may have to manually replace it.** This condition may then progress to a point at which the rectum prolapses immediately after being replaced and is continuously prolapsed. Rarely, the rectum becomes incarcerated, and patients cannot re-place the rectum.

**Not sure I fully understand that bit.

 

[sullyupthewing]

I just found out that my belly button has a left hand thread, so I unscrewed it got up out of the chair and my arse fell off.

 

[Scotty Mac]

Rectal Prolapse

Patients with rectal prolapse report a mass protruding through the anus. Initially, the mass protrudes from the anus only after a bowel movement and usually retracts when the patient stands up. As the disease process progresses, the mass protrudes more often, especially with straining and Valsalva maneuvers such as sneezing or coughing. Finally, the rectum prolapses with daily activities such as walking and may progress to continual prolapse.

As the disease progresses, the rectum no longer spontaneously retracts, and patients may have to manually replace it.** This condition may then progress to a point at which the rectum prolapses immediately after being replaced and is continuously prolapsed. Rarely, the rectum becomes incarcerated, and patients cannot re-place the rectum.

**Not sure I fully understand that bit.

there you go then!

 

[Scotty Mac]

injured foot in a freak cooking accident

 

[portlock seagull]

hang on there's a programme about to start on channel 4 about 101 embarrassing sexual accidents.....anyone feeling brave out there could use one of these and become a NSC Albion legend!

I think I'll go for "stuck behind slow moving rastaferian" me self. Worked once in London, you know how crowded the street pavements can become.

 

[Safeway]

Rectal Prolapse

Patients with rectal prolapse report a mass protruding through the anus. Initially, the mass protrudes from the anus only after a bowel movement and usually retracts when the patient stands up. As the disease process progresses, the mass protrudes more often, especially with straining and Valsalva maneuvers such as sneezing or coughing. Finally, the rectum prolapses with daily activities such as walking and may progress to continual prolapse.

As the disease progresses, the rectum no longer spontaneously retracts, and patients may have to manually replace it.** This condition may then progress to a point at which the rectum prolapses immediately after being replaced and is continuously prolapsed. Rarely, the rectum becomes incarcerated, and patients cannot re-place the rectum.

**Not sure I fully understand that bit.

Women can also suffer VAGINAL prolapes. Pretty much the same as a rectal one, but instead everything sort of falls out of their FANNY.

Nasty.

 

[Scotty Mac]

run over by a milkfloat

 

[The Great Cornholio]

I actually am sick and was off yesterday as well so I don't need an excuse.