Things you should never/would never expect to hear from your wife/husband/partner

[Hungry Joe]

The below are genuine quotes from my wife to me....

"Darling, shall I laminate us a couple of number two's?"
"Bend over and I'll get the sellotape"
"Would you like another call girl?"
"Hopefully I'll follow through"

What bizarre things have your other halves said to you?

 

[Titus]

When we were going through a boring time sex wise , my quiet shy wife once said , "Come on, you can do anything to me".

 

[Hungry Joe]

When we were going through a boring time sex wise , my quiet shy wife once said , "Come on, you can do anything to me".

Is she up for a spot of swinging by any chance?

 

[Poyetry In Motion]

I would never expect my ex girlfriend to say to me " Is that it? " after a vigorous 20 minutes of bedroom action...but she did, the bitch

 

[brakespear]

When we were going through a boring time sex wise , my quiet shy wife once said , "Come on, you can do anything to me".

Did you draw a moustache on her face while she was asleep?

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

I am so happy you are going to Sheffield Wednesday/Watford/Millwall/Birmingham/Ipswich darling ---- drink as much as you like ------enjoy yourself -----you have earned it!

 

[JCL]

"It doesn't feel smelly"....

 

[Brighton TID]

Once my wife asked, 'could you put the hoover round?'

Fack sakes.

 

[El Sid]

A bird once said to me "give me 12 inches and hurt me!"

So I shoved it in 6 times and smacked her in the gob

 

[Hungry Joe]

"It doesn't feel smelly"....

Haha, brilliant.

 

[Nibble]

"Happy Birthday, a good night out will take your mind off your Mum's recent funeral but I don't feel I can join you for drinks tonight without clearing my conscience. I have been having an affair and while you were working last Wednesday morning I met him in Brighton". Didn't expect that one.

 

[skipper734]

" We need to talk!"

 

[Lady Gull]

My partner uttered these unbelievable words to me this afternoon


"I have upgraded my iPhone 4 to a Samsung Galaxy 3"

 

[bravohotelalpha]

I would never expect my ex girlfriend to say to me " Is that it? " after a vigorous 20 minutes of bedroom action...but she did, the bitch

Poyetry in motion

 

[Phat Baz 68]

This bird i went out with about 13 years ago said to me once
" you can stick it up my shitter if you like, don't worry i'll still suck you off after babe"

She was a classy girl from East London !!!

 

[Brighton TID]

When we were going through a boring time sex wise , my quiet shy wife once said , "Come on, you can do anything to me".

May I ask, did you take her up on he offer and if so what happened?