Things people say that they immediately regret....

[Johnny Fever]

.....number 1

"Hello pet. By the way, while you were in nick I've been shaggin a policeman"

 

[Taybha]

i love you

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

When's the baby due...

 

[Mr Smggles]

i went for a run in the local park and there was this woman who had no arms but instead hooks. She was walking a few dogs and as we passed i said "wow, you have you hands full"

I felt so bad

 

[Horsham Gull]

opening my mouth infront of women just generally turns out badly

 

[Don Quixote]

Ya biggot ****.

 

[Gary Leeds]

Going back to the small American woman I head that her husband found a magic lamp, rubbed it, a genie appeared and granted him one wish.

He replied. "Well I do feel horny, how about a little head"

 

[Muhammed - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

i do

 

[Everest]

You'd better see the doctor - QUICK

 

[Mackenzie]

When's the baby due...

Done this one. She answered 'I had him 4 months ago'......whoops!

 

[Simon Morgan]

"Then again, I could wait and see what Mr Pardew has to say..."

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Going back to the small American woman I head that her husband found a magic lamp, rubbed it, a genie appeared and granted him one wish.

He replied. "Well I do feel horny, how about a little head"

Read it again. Think about it. And make it funny

 

[Marc]

"thats ok I like to go bareback!"

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"So, Kevin Keegan, quickly, do you back David Batty to score this penalty, yes or no?"

"YES"

 

[Twinkle Toes]

Nothing can possibly go wrong now!

 

[Bean]

This was what my mum said as I couldn't think of one. We had a German couple staying with us who were here to learn English about two years back. One evening at the dinner table my mum didn't want to discuss something in front of them (I can't remember), and accidentally said 'Don't mention the war' to my dad, as you do when you don't want to talk about something.

 

[Aldo]

When watching the CL final this year, my mate who hates Milito said he collected the ball sarcasitly

"Oh yeah lets watch him skin the defenders and score"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPkJqGFjJVY

 

[mcshane in the 79th]

"I've gone LARGE on xxx to win"

 

[Stoo82]

"I think i'll go on NSC and tell everyone I kissed one of the posters tonight!"

 

[Arthur]

I'm going to use this thread as an apology to someone on this board. I can't for the life of me remember who you are/were but you had a spare ticket off me for The Enemy at the Dome a year or so ago.

You met me outside the Mash Tun to do the deal and my initial thought which I blurted out was "Blimey have you been on holiday?" it wasn't until I looked properly that I realised that you were actually just dark skinned.

Fella I apologise!