[Politics] The NSC 'up all night' election night laughathon #unofficial# thread

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Anyone fancy some election night "and the votes are in from Narnia, and there has been a massive swing to the fauns, the White Queen appears to be f***ed already" election night hilario binfest thread? If so, I thought I'd put the marker down. Will bounce on the night (if still sober enough to remember as Sunderland south is the first to declare "they think it's all over, it is now, bonny lass").

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

I'll be up all night. Just a shame that the Tory MPs are dropping like flies already.

Gove and Leadsom gone just this evening.

However the election canpaign has got off to a cracking start. No matter how bad my day has been I've never had to announce the almost certain loss of my job on live TV in the pouring rain without an umbrella. Glorious.

 

[WATFORD zero]

I think you may have gone to early H. (At least those are the rumours in Easthill )

 

[WATFORD zero]

I'll be up all night. Just a shame that the Tory MPs are dropping like flies already.

Gove and Leadsom gone just this evening.

However the election canpaign has got off to a cracking start. No matter how bad my day has been I've never had to announce the almost certain loss of my job on live TV in the pouring rain without an umbrella. Glorious.

I understand that what with the announcement in the rain, the emergency rations announcement the day before, the conservative councillors pretending to be 'workers' asking questions, asking Welsh voters whether they are looking forward to the Euros, admitting Rwanda simply won't happen etc etc is just a small taste of the level of incompetence the people who actually manage Britain on a day to day basis, have been putting up with ever since Johnson appointed the most inexperienced cabinet ever.

Luckily we don't need no experts

 

[Pevenseagull]

I'm thinking of pitching in for one of the doomed Tory constituencies.

I am a very bland 53 year old with an ill fitting Marks & Spencer suit.


Surely that is all that is required to make up the numbers

 

[Hugo Rune]

Yes. 100%. I’ll be playing some sort of Tory Bingo game. I’ll have a card printed with the mugshots of the nastiest couple of dozen of ‘em together with a marker to put large cross on their face. A shot of quality scotch will be drunk for each mug crossed out!

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I think you may have gone to early H. (At least those are the rumours in Easthill )

Thread bounce is our friend.

I hear Easthill West is no longer up for grabs

 

[Weststander]

@Harry Wilson's tackle, @Hugo Rune and @WATFORD zero …. did you stay up watching it to early hours/all night, when it was apparent from exit polls at 10pm that the Tories had won eg 2015 and 2019? Or only when that’s not the outcome?

I think I’ve done them all since 79, when just turned a teen.

Great move with the thread. I look forward to the night, talk of snacks etc.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Yes. 100%. I’ll be playing some sort of Tory Bingo game. I’ll have a card printed with the mugshots of the nastiest couple of dozen of ‘em together with a marker to put large cross on their face. A shot of quality scotch will be drunk for each mug crossed out!

Can you post the card? Ideally imbedded into an excel spreadsheet, with thumbnail pics and space to comment on whether the outgoing Muppet took it stoically or cried a bit?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

@Harry Wilson's tackle, @Hugo Rune and @WATFORD zero …. did you stay up watching it to early hours/all night, when it was apparent from exit polls at 10pm that the Tories had won eg 2015 and 2019? Or only when that’s not the outcome?

I think I’ve done them all since 79, when just turned a teen.

Great move with the thread. I look forward to the night, talk of snacks etc.

I always stay up but yes to be honest if it looks like it isn't going my way I sigh a bit and toddle off to bed around 3 AM. The 97 one was something else. My GF at the time was (and is) a tory, so my whoops and giggles didn't go down especially well.

I like your suggestion. People should post pix of their TV snacks. I predict some banquets

 

[Hugo Rune]

Can you post the card? Ideally imbedded into an excel spreadsheet, with thumbnail pics and space to comment on whether the outgoing Muppet took it stoically or cried a bit?

Of course.

These are the sort Tories who’ll make the cut.

 

[Ethelwulf]

Shame the toad gove is standing down I was so looking forward to him getting a spanking

 

[Weststander]

I always stay up but yes to be honest if it looks like it isn't going my way I sigh a bit and toddle off to bed around 3 AM. The 97s one was something else. My GF at the time was (and is) a tory, so my whoops and giggles didn't go down especially well.

I like your suggestion. People should post pix of their TV snacks. I predict some banquets

@Bozza often starts the snacks and drinks talk, I think.

Genuinely, I might buy a couple of Red Bulls. At the last local election, getting old, I was knackered by 2am.

 

[Eeyore]

Shame the toad gove is standing down I was so looking forward to him getting a spanking

That's on a different channel I believe.

 

[Eeyore]

'Labour have taken Blue Rinse Valley and the Daily Mail have taken Umbridge'

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I understand that what with the announcement in the rain, the emergency rations announcement the day before, the conservative councillors pretending to be 'workers' asking questions, asking Welsh voters whether they are looking forward to the Euros, admitting Rwanda simply won't happen etc etc is just a small taste of the level of incompetence the people who actually manage Britain on a day to day basis, have been putting up with for the last 4.5 years. We don't need no experts

It reminds me of the last days of Major, when there was announcement after announcement of desperate 'on the way outers' wanting to spend more time with their family. Or someone else's family.

And brave tory MP's wives stoically swearing to the TV reporters massed outside their weekend place, that the big-titted 16 year old intern their MP hubby had been seen dining with was a 'friend of the family'.

Just like those days again. Except with slightly more class*, and considerably more craven calculating stupidity.

*Trying to be kind, here.

 

[Bob!]

Shame the toad gove is standing down I was so looking forward to him getting a spanking

So does he.

Every evening!

 

[Eeyore]

I still haven't decided who I'm writing on my ballot paper. At the moment it's a toss up between Paula Vennells (who would make an excellent politician) and Larry the Cat.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

@Bozza often starts the snacks and drinks talk, I think.

Genuinely, I might buy a couple of Red Bulls. At the last local election, getting old, I was knackered by 2am.

We need better than Pringles. Just sayin'.

I'm already eyeing up olives and planning a sweep of canapes and dips the day before. I may even get some of the artisan scotch eggs and borderline-illegal imported cheese from Macknade.

There is a risk I may gain a full stone if the session proves to live up to billing.

Mr Creosote rides again

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I still haven't decided who I'm writing on my ballot paper. At the moment it's a toss up between Paula Vennells (who would make an excellent politician) and Larry the Cat.

Is it just me or....deep inhalation

Vennells is, I am guessing, absolute filth. A female to rival the debauchery of the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Welles.