The NSC Agony Aunt Thread

[Willy Dangle]

I lived next door to a fellow work colleague, alas due to himself not feeling being loved and a few quid extra he has moved up North. Should I go to Nandos and 'ave a few or consider my own future next summer?

Everyone on NSC loves you so stay with us.

 

[El Sid]

Feck, I thought you were as old as me and had given up on all that stuff

I am chemically controlled - have you tried it yet?

 

[Northstander]

My missus keeps moaning that I leave the toilet seat up, at the end of my tether and to compromise I begun doing it in the sink to avoid the need of toilet seat usage, this has made her even worse!!

NSC ...what should I do?

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

I am chemically controlled - have you tried it yet?

Ten Pints Of Guinness on a Match Day does for ME
I would point out I have four kids but I can't remember HOW I achieved this FEAT

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

My missus keeps moaning that I leave the toilet seat up, at the end of my tether and to compromise I begun doing it in the sink to avoid the need of toilet seat usage, this has made her even worse!!

NSC ...what should I do?

DUMP HER and stop shitting in the BASIN---------------Us Plumbers will appreciate it

 

[Spun Cuppa]

I have a real problem with finishing sente

 

[Baron Pepperpot]

My penis is only 12 inches long when fully erect. How do I cope with the embarrassment?

 

[StonehamPark]

A few years ago I had a shit on the beach as my lav was out of action. I had no choice.
It was a monster and I'm worried that someone may have fallen in it.

Should I report this?

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

My penis is only 12 inches long when fully erect. How do I cope with the embarrassment?

Stop showing off.

 

[symyjym]

My penis is only 12 inches long when fully erect. How do I cope with the embarrassment?

Get a smaller car

 

[Spun Cuppa]

My penis is only 12 inches long when fully erect. How do I cope with the embarrassment?

I wish my penis was 12 inches long. I suppose I could fold it in half

 

[Willy Dangle]

My penis is only 12 inches long when fully erect. How do I cope with the embarrassment?

TYPO....

should have read....

My penis is only 2 inches long when fully erect. How do I cope with the embarrassment?

 

[Willy Dangle]

A few years ago I had a shit on the beach as my lav was out of action. I had no choice.
It was a monster and I'm worried that someone may have fallen in it.

Should I report this?

It is SIT not Shit and it's nice to have a sit on the beach

 

[Spun Cuppa]

BP is named after one of those humungous ones you get in Italian restaurants for a reason

(So I'm told...)

 

[Dan Aitch]

I took a woman's maidenhead. Now I've entered the priesthood. He wasn't happy.

 

[Nibble]

There's been a rape.






Awful thread btw.