The genius that was Ronnie Barker...

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supaseagull

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2004
9,616
The United Kingdom of Mile Oak
This was originally shown on prime time BBC back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).
Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds.


This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. 'Who's fust jarted??' asked the prandsome hince. 'Blame that fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!
 




Frutos

.
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
May 3, 2006
36,749
Northumberland
Ithought it was an 'urban myth' that Ronnie Barker either wrote or performed that?

It's certainly in his style of writing (see all those Spokesman/Minister monologues from the Two Ronnies), but I don't think it's actually anything to do with him.

That said though, if there's footage of him doing it, I'd love to see it. :)
 






ack

New member
Apr 20, 2006
322
The guy was brill,but latest PC bollox would of killed most of the scenes.
A legend lost in my opinion:yahoo:
 








Frutos

.
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
May 3, 2006
36,749
Northumberland
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:bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:
 




clapham_gull

Legacy Fan
Aug 20, 2003
26,486
I'm been watching the show in UK Gold recently.

For all the classic sketches, there is also a whole load of dross as well.

Problem with a lot of their sketches is that although some were brilliant, they often had a problem ending them.

"Fork Handles" a prime example, where even Barker admitted the ending was very very weak.

The best thing he ever did was Porridge.
 




1234andcounting

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2008
1,609
Ronnie Barker - a legend. Gerald Wiley not a bad writer either. But I think I preferred him as a comic actor rather than a comedian; Norman Stanley Fletcher hard to beat for comic characterisation. Also watched The Gathering Storm recently - excellent drama about the Churchill wilderness years in which RB turned in a superb performance as Churchill's butler and not outshone by any of the stellar cast.
 






Tom Bombadil

Well-known member
Jul 14, 2003
6,137
Jibrovia
id disagree there, uk gold is different from being repeated on mainstream channels



I would argue that with the likes of Little Britain you can actually get away with much more on mainstream tv than you could in the 70's. The writing had to be a lot smarter when you couldn't say rimming on BBC1.
 




clapham_gull

Legacy Fan
Aug 20, 2003
26,486
id disagree there, uk gold is different from being repeated on mainstream channels

No it isn't. I'd think you find it very difficult to find a more "mainstream" channel than UK Gold.

Someone just used Ronnie Barker to make a point about "political correctness" which is 99 times out of 100 is completely imagined by people.

Little Britain being the prime example as mentioned above.

Have you forgotten about Mary Whitehouse ?
 
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