The Clive Tyldesley "Fireworks" Sweepstake

[Easy 10]

No, I'm not going to the Boston match. This is just a desperate attempt to inject at least a vague element of interest in tonights Champions League proceedings.

Would anyone care to guess at what minute during the commentry on tonights Man U v Rangers match, Clive Tyldesley mentions the word "Fireworks" in his repertoire, as in (for example)

"There'll certainly be some fireworks out there tonight"...

Part of me thinks he won't even get through the pre-match chat with Big Ron without resorting to this tired old cliche, but I'll give him the benefit and say there will be 3 minutes on the clock when he first mentions it. Anyone else ?

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

It'll be part of his opening gambit, so I reckon 1 minute.

 

[watsongooal]

Or how long before Ron Atkinson says "If United play this well, they are capable of beating anyone in europe"

 

[Pavilionaire]

If I know Tiddley it is being woven into his pre-match ramble as we speak.

After kick-off expect other such festive gems, such as:

"Keane's giving Phil Neville a right rocket!..."
"Light the blue touch paper and sit back, this one's gonna sparkle!..."
"Van Nistelrooy lights up the stadium..." etc etc

 

[CHAPPERS]

4th minute.

'And the fireworks have started'

 

[Barnet Seagull]

10 seconds before kick off.

(or is that cheating)

 

[Beach Hut]

What about Ron Atkinson saying "You'd bet your mortgage he'd have scored then"

Within a minute on the fireworks, possibly opening line.

 

[Easy 10]

Pavillionaire - Opening Gambit
Barnet Seagull - Opening Gambit
Beach Hut - Opening Gambit (within a minute, so less than 1 on the clock)
Cheshire - 1 minute
Easy 10 - 3 mins
Chappers - 4 mins

Cheshire, I've put you down as "Opening Gambit" even though you've mentioned 1 minute as well. Clives opening gambit should be BEFORE theres 1 minute on the clock, so its one or the other really. Do let me know if you want to swap "Opening Gambit" for 1 minute though.
Cheshire - duley edited.

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

I'll think I'll change to 1 minute please.

 

[Lush]

I reckon it will be in the trailer just before Emmerdale.

 

[Simster]

As always, I will be watching it with the sound down. Ron Atkinson and Clive Tyldsley get right on my tits.

 

[Albion Rob]

9th minute - controversial I know, but I'm banking on him using a Hallowe'n and Postal Strike gag first.

 

[Jambo Seagull]

probably quicker than it took John Motson to make a completely gratuitous and irrelevant mention of the 1966 World Cup final in his commentary on the '98 World Cup final which was timed at about 27 seconds.

Tyldesdley is a complete fud. A Man u fan with a microphone. I actually couldn't bear to listen to him commentating on the European Cup final of 1999. I had to turn Radio 5 live on. "Thankfully," we'll have the legend that is Archie "Shredded Wheat for hair" MacPherson commentating up here who is as much a Gers fan as Clive T is a man U fan. "Wooft!" Deep joy.

 

[Davey Boy Smith]

I'm going for 7 minutes no logical reasoning behind it though....

 

[Simster]

I can imagine the situation in Scotland is far far worse than it is here. The media is utterly besotted with Celtic and Rangers while the also-rans get the crumbs. However, the fans of those two delightful football clubs are both utterly convinced that everyone in the media and SFA is against them (and for the other) which is utter cack.

I will be supporting Man Utd tonight, if only for the fact they are an *English* conglomerate and not borne out of sectarian hatred.

 

[zefarelly]

theres bound to be a 'cracker' reference in there somewhere, possible a swift turn and a catherine wheel reference

and maybe even a 'oh dear poor Phil Neville, hes about as useful as a packet of wet sparklers'

 

[Hannibal smith]

It'll be Early doors for sure. 10 seconds after kick off with Clive's

Expect Fireworks from a Sparkling Battle of Britain.

Bearing in mind that Rio was alledged to have a, how can we put this, infection, he might even get a 'banger' reference.

 

[Easy 10]

Pavillionaire - Opening Gambit
Barnet Seagull - Opening Gambit
Hannibal Smith - Opening Gambit
Beach Hut - Opening Gambit
Cheshire - 1 minute
Easy 10 - 3 mins
Chappers - 4 mins
Davey Boy - 7 mins
Albion Rob - 9 mins

 

[Simster]

Easy, I predict the 6th minute.

However, he won't be the first to use it. The bloke promoting it before Emmerdale will use it, as will the anchor man (Jim Rosental or whoever).

I also predict Ron Atkinson will piss himself laughing at Tyldsley as if it was an original and witty remark.

 

[Albion Rob]

If this is anything like yesterday's FA cup game, you're probably writing the scripts for tonight's show Simster.