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The Argus has gone too far this time



Not Andy Naylor

Well-known member
Dec 12, 2007
8,798
Seven Dials
Not using exact geography in a news story has long been the way.

What annoys me is the alarming number of grammatical mistakes and typos that make it into print at the Argus.

This morning an odd story about a horse crapping on a bridge (the new Shoreham one) initially stated that a horse had shat on a bride! The mistake was rectified but only after readers pointed out the blunder and went to town again on just how low standards and quality have dropped on the Anus - sorry Argus.

That would have been a wedding reception and a half ...
 






Man of Harveys

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
18,738
Brighton, UK
I understand the frustration, especially on local news, but it is a really necessary technique in keeping attention as well as making an article flow.

Pish and nonsense is it. The OP is spot on: it's an awful writing style that derives probably from either a) the Argus sourcing its content from further afield than just the Brighton and Hove area or b) a 22 year old who's getting paid sh1t-all who's conforming strictly to an NCTJ-taught style without actually thinking about what they're doing, bless 'em.

If I can't begin an article without starting off with some weird generic guessing game lead when everyone already knows what it is I'm referring to, I'd either need more training or a change of career.
 


The Sock of Poskett

The best is yet to come (spoiler alert)
Jun 12, 2009
2,804
Pish and nonsense is it. The OP is spot on: it's an awful writing style that derives probably from either a) the Argus sourcing its content from further afield than just the Brighton and Hove area or b) a 22 year old who's getting paid sh1t-all who's conforming strictly to an NCTJ-taught style without actually thinking about what they're doing, bless 'em.

If I can't begin an article without starting off with some weird generic guessing game lead when everyone already knows what it is I'm referring to, I'd either need more training or a change of career.

Indeed. Having a house style is one thing. Having no common sense is entirely another.

NB Those on here with media/journalism experience (and anyone else, for that matter) will find this an entertaining read:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Romps-Tots-Boffins-Strange-Language/dp/1909653438
 


Not Andy Naylor

Well-known member
Dec 12, 2007
8,798
Seven Dials
He would you report the wonder goal and following celebration that you witnessed on Sunday morning?

On reflection, in Argus style:

A man who impersonated a footballer in a Sunday morning match at a playing field is being sought by police after dropping his shorts in an astonishing goal celebration.

The Jack Straw lookalike, 64, luckily deflected the ball home and, overjoyed after missing with around a dozen earlier attempts, ran back towards his shocked and horrified teammates, removing items of (contd p 94)
 
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Not Andy Naylor

Well-known member
Dec 12, 2007
8,798
Seven Dials






Established1982

New member
Jul 30, 2011
83
Speaking as a trained hack who still works in an associated industry, the way The Argus do their top lines is totally wrong-headed and angers me every time I pick up the paper.

Many pieces of research have shown that the only way local news can really survive and thrive is to embrace hyper-localism. This involves making local people feel a real part of the paper / website / app. To do this, they need to see the places they live (called what they actually call them and accredited correctly e.g. The Argus should have a policy on where somewhere like Church Green in Shoreham is because some people identify it as Southwick and get ****ed off if someone says it's elsewhere) in the paper.

The Argus is ****ed because it's trying to cover all of Sussex in minute depth. What it should do (IMHO) is to spin off the West Sussex stuff (west of Worthing roughly speaking) into a big thick weekly, full of village news, pictures of fetes, church stuff and whatever else is community focused around there. Obviously include some Albion content in there as well, which would be a piece of piss because some young journo could just adapt Naylor's stuff in an hour or so. If one of the Academy lads is from that way then get them in for a column. Sport would also be big in the summer because cricket is massive out that way and you can pages and pages out of local cricket.

They should then run The Argus as a hard hitting, campaigning daily focusing on Brighton, Shoreham, Worthing, Lewes and all the areas in between. There is more than enough going on in these areas to make a cracking paper, they just need to dig much deeper than they do at the moment. Get journos to focus on geographical patches rather than doll out the stories at random. That forces them to make contacts and get original stories from the ground up rather than the PR'd 'churnalism' shit they fill it with at the moment. Go heavy on crime, community campaigns e.g. Save the Exeter Street Hall, local planning issues and really make the council (politicians and officers) work hard for their crust. Combine that will some decent columnists who local paper actually care about and you might be onto a winner. You also need to totally change the marketing, make the paper live and breathe with the local community again - get right in with all the schools, Sussex CCC, Albion, Pride, Festival and really go to town on big events. Maybe start up a couple of new ones as well.

There might be an argument to do a specific weekly in Lewes and tighten the geographic spread of the 'Brighton' Argus, but you'd need to run a lot of research to see whether the Lewes market would accept that / be big enough to make it worthwhile.

Then do the same as you do for West Sussex with East Sussex but slightly different focus because it's a bit of a different area economically and socially.

Went off on one a bit there, sorry.
 


mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member
Dec 4, 2003
21,504
England
Pish and nonsense is it. The OP is spot on: it's an awful writing style that derives probably from either a) the Argus sourcing its content from further afield than just the Brighton and Hove area or b) a 22 year old who's getting paid sh1t-all who's conforming strictly to an NCTJ-taught style without actually thinking about what they're doing, bless 'em.

If I can't begin an article without starting off with some weird generic guessing game lead when everyone already knows what it is I'm referring to, I'd either need more training or a change of career.

I agree that in the context of the OP's examples in local news it's a lack of common sense.

I was talking more about the technique in general terms, especially in national or international reporting which I think is a good one.

For example if the Hertha Berlin manager had punched a fan I would personally start my news bulletin with "A German football manager has been fired after punching a fan.

"Hertha Berlin manager, Jurgan Wolfsweiger, attacked the supporter when....."


But I agree that in the OP's context, common sense needs to be used and not just a generic format.
 






Biscuit

Native Creative
Jul 8, 2003
22,220
Brighton
All part of it's brand to appear more national than local, and by association shit. It started about ten years ago when they started including national headlines on pages 2/3.
 


The Large One

Who's Next?
Jul 7, 2003
52,343
97.2FM
Say GArcia had been sacked for throwing a squirrel at a player (worrying that was my first though), a news outlet (who are not known for albion reporting) would very likely say "A championship manager has been sacked...."

followed by "Brighton boss Oscar Garcia was dismissed after it was alleged" etc

I understand the frustration, especially on local news, but it is a really necessary technique in keeping attention as well as making an article flow.

Throwing one of your coaching colleagues at a player is the absolute limit. It really is.
 


Pavilionaire

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
30,603
Trust me. From (very brief) experience of writing news for radio and print it is one the first tools you learn. It makes your life SO MUCH EASIER.

You and the reader/listener HATE repetition, so you find any way possible to get round it.

For example if I was writing something about Oscar Garcia I would start the first sentenece "Brighton manager Oscar garcia has...."

The second would say " The spaniard claims he......"

The 3rd "However the 40 year old, you took over from Gus Poyet has re-itterated...."

It's the same with starting an article.

You don't want to write "Sussex University is set for a £500m expansion" as you then have to start the new sentence with less flow.

Reminds me of the time I was reading the West Sussex Gazette, schoolboy journalism at its finest. The junior reporter's opening paragraph read "Police chased a horse down the A24". Having painted himself into a corner he couldn't follow this up with "the police caught the horse" so instead went for "the officers corralled the equine".
 




Biscuit

Native Creative
Jul 8, 2003
22,220
Brighton
I agree that in the context of the OP's examples in local news it's a lack of common sense.

I was talking more about the technique in general terms, especially in national or international reporting which I think is a good one.

For example if the Hertha Berlin manager had punched a fan I would personally start my news bulletin with "A German football manager has been fired after punching a fan.

"Hertha Berlin manager, Jurgan Wolfsweiger, attacked the supporter when....."


But I agree that in the OP's context, common sense needs to be used and not just a generic format.

Write that whole goddamn squirrel article now.
 


FloatLeft

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2012
1,603
Yesterday's Meridian news had a feature about a chap who saved the lives of pilots whose plane crashed off the coast. The feature went on for a while about the plane and the hero and the fact that now divers have found the wreck of a plane. You think it's all related until near the end where we are told the wreck is nothing to do the plane crash featured at the beginning of the story.

Ho hum. A non-story but perhaps easier than reporting the real news.
 




Mtoto

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2003
1,841
All part of it's brand to appear more national than local, and by association shit. It started about ten years ago when they started including national headlines on pages 2/3.

I think it's also to do with "search engine optimisation" - the more generic the intro, the more likely it is to show up if someone is searching for news about Universities etc in general rather than Sussex Uni in particular. Sad and desperate for sure, but the locals are suffering even more than the nationals and every page impression counts.

SEO is also to blame for the steady, and probably terminal, decline of the noble art of headline-writing. On web stories, all they want is the most obvious three or four words squeezed into the headline somewhere, never mind whether it catches the eye or even makes much sense. As long as the Google web crawlers find it, that's all that matters.
 






spring hall convert

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2009
9,608
Brighton
You'll probably find the OP has a lot of experience when it comes to writing.

In fact I have read very many entertaining articles by Not Andy Naylor.

Nick, it transpires, was writing for Gulls Eye when I was in Kickers and Lois Cords.

See what I did there?

In addition, I believe his mother might have taught me art at school. I was no artist but she was a great teacher(if it is the person I'm thinking of.)

If not, I apologise for this aimless rambling.
 


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