Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Sunday joke
- Thread starter NF9
- Start date
surrey jim
Not in Surrey
Whats the punch line then??
- Thread starter
- #3
surrey jim
Not in Surrey
Lewes' best seagull
New member
- Jan 31, 2008
- 1,145
awful joke
seagulls4ever
New member
- Oct 2, 2003
- 4,338
*cringe*
- Thread starter
- #8
How about this one then...
Gordon Brown and Cameron are sat in a pub - there is only one other man in there and a dog laid by the fire. The other man in the pub walks out and about five minutes later another man walks in and lifts up the dogs tail. When the landlord asks the man what he was doing, he replied: "Well the bloke who just walked out said there was a dog in here with two arseholes!"
Gordon Brown and Cameron are sat in a pub - there is only one other man in there and a dog laid by the fire. The other man in the pub walks out and about five minutes later another man walks in and lifts up the dogs tail. When the landlord asks the man what he was doing, he replied: "Well the bloke who just walked out said there was a dog in here with two arseholes!"
Dorset Seagull
Once Dolphin, Now Seagull
Bloke rang the doctor and said he thought he had swine flu
Doc said "I can't hear you there is crackling on the line"
Doc said "I can't hear you there is crackling on the line"
The Peanut Roaster
Banned
Swine flu brings you out in rashers.
Thats you for the chop mate with puns like that.
Keeping The Dream Alive.
Naming Rights
What kind of Bees make milk?
BooBEES
BooBEES
Keeping The Dream Alive.
Naming Rights
The Peanut Roaster
Banned
There was a painter by the name of Jock, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin his paint to make it go further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Church decided to do a big restoration job that involved the painting of one of its biggest churches. Jock put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.
He went about erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, thinning it down with the turpentine. Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away with the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.
The torrential rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off the scaffold and on to the lawn, among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...
REPAINT, PEPAINT,
AND THIN NO MORE.
bhaexpress
New member
Very good !
I heard that the Pope was in Jordan this week. Didn't take her long, did it?