Song titles or lyrics that are palpably untrue.

[Gazwag]

Silence is Golden

Total Crap, if it was we would all be rich.



But then again we wouldn't as gold would therefore be almost worthless.

Maybe though, the Sound of Silence is tttthhhhuumppcccrraaasssshhh is it falls off a tall building if it is infact gold

 

[Gazwag]

If you had "teenage kicks right through the night" you would probably be dead, or at least on a life support machine

 

[On the Left Wing]

Like a Rolling Stone


Come on Bob ... she wouldn't even get a shag off Keef Richard!

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Mincing nancy-boy George Michael says "you've gotta get up to get down".

If that's the case, how did I get into my cellar last night?

Cock-knocker.

 

[On the Left Wing]

He and Elton both sang

Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me

The real title should have been

Don't let your son Go Down on Me

 

[Lokki 7]

Carl Douglas, you sweaty one-hit-wondered slaphead. Even if everyone was kung-fu fighting, Einstein has rigorously proven that neither cats, nor any form of physical matter can move as fast as lightening. Nonce.
Although I do have to admit to being a little bit frightened by your woeful miming performance on top of the pops in 1974.

 

[tedebear]

what was that disney song about Disco Duck??

Disco, disco duck!!

eh?? never seen a duck do disco....

 

[Trufflehound]

never seen a duck do disco....

You haven't lived...

 

[tedebear]

do they disco saturday night fever styling??

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

And knowing that you would have wanted it this way
I do believe I’m feelin’ stronger every day
Yeah, yeah, yeah


So sung clueless buffoons Chicago.

As anyone with a severe wasting diease will tell you, this is not the case.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Not sure that they ever got so far as to putting it to music, but the Cardiff Male Voice Choir lyrics 'Please Stay Off The Pitch While Sam And The Lads Complete A Lap Of Honour' were palpably untrue. They never DID complete aforementioned Lap Of Honour.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

To the north
To the south
It don’t matter
Every road leads to you


another mind-blowing example of Chicagos willingness to lead the listener astray.

Follow the A26 out of Lewes, through Uckfield and towards Crowborough and on to Tunbridge Wells and you certainly won't end up where Chicago state.

You will in fact arricv at a simple choice between on to Tonbridge or onto the A21 and then the M25.

 

[The Large One]

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me...

Hmm, haven't really paid attention to Freud have you? The biggest part of these coke-toting plank-spankers is their EGO, which by definition stays with that person.

 

[Hove&Albion F.C]

Bono once kept telling me that he couldnt live with or without me, which simply cannot be true as ive never met the guy so what does he know

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Twiglet-waisted 70s middle of the road crooner Karen Carpenter and her Football League free kick legend brother Richard once chirped

"I'm on the top of the world,
Looking down on creation
And the only explanation I can find"

Flaws in this are as follows:

(1) A person patently cannot sit on top of the world. It is possible, of course, to scale the highest point, for example, by climbing Mount Everest, but I seriously doubt whether Ms Carpenter ever managed the feat by strapping crampons to her pink corduroy flares and bypassing the old eating disorder with a couple of slabs of Kendal Mint Cake.

(2) Owing to the nature of my job, I frequently look down on Creation, and the only explanation I can find, frankly, is that it is populated by a bunch of 15 year old slappers fuelled by Bacardi Breezers and White Lightning, trying to fool the bouncers into believing their fake ID by flashing their over-exposed breasts in the queue. These are inevitably accompanied by 17 year old lads in Ben Sherman shirts and F reg Vauxhall Novas, cruuuuuuuuuuising up and down West Street incessantly, attempting to illustrate the fact that their stereos are worth infinitely more than their chav-light-illuminated vehicles.

Now if Karen had sung that she was "looking down on the Event" instead, that would REALLY have got me going...

 

[Chopper West]

Obscure indie 'wacky' tunesmiths The Notsensibles once had a ditty called 'I'm in love with Margaret Thatcher.

Personally I can't wait for someone to burn the witch and I will then have a pleasurable dump on her grave.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"Life Is A Rollercoaster".

No, you vacuous, slipper-wearing Irish pillock, life is an intangible quality brought on by an impressively scientific combination of carbon, oxygen and billions of other chemical reactions and computations.

A rollercoaster is a theme park ride designed to thrill and scare participants in equal measure, thus giving a sense of enjoyment.

Clearly, Physics isn't a strong subject in Dublin schools.

A point further illustrated by fellow Emerald Isle dunces Westlife, who declare that "when you find that special thing, you're Flying Without Wings".

Need I even explain??

 

[simonsimon]

Strawberry Field(s) Forever .....John Lennon
Probably would have been until those bastard CAPITALIST FREEHOLDERS, THE SALVATION ARMY, closed it down.
It will be redeveloped producing a turnover of over £40 million.

Salvation Army = Bill Archer/Greg Stanley.

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

And when she's shagging Beckham, she thinks of Gary Hart. Really??

And F*cking Busted have NOT been to the year 3000, FACT.

 

[El Presidente]

" I was looking for a job and then I found a job, but heaven knows I'm miserable now" , according to quiffed, chutney ferret tax-dodging Manc Morrisey.

That's rubbish, I have just been employed as Kylie's official pube trimmer for her next tour and I can't wait to start work.