Song titles or lyrics that are palpably untrue.

[Simster]

WATFORD O once sang "AGAIN, WE'LL NEVER PLAY YOU AGAIN" on here, just a day before it seemed they might be promoted via the playoff final after we'd finished 23rd in the league for a second successive time.




Not heard of friendlies then, twatty old stick?

 

[Muzzman]

"There once was an ugly duckling.."

It was a f***ing signet!

 

[Icy Gull]

I think 10cc must have had their drinks spiked before they wrote these lyrics

Life is a minestrone
Served up with parmesan cheese
Death is a cold Lasagne
Suspended in deep freeze

 

[Gazwag]

She's Venus in blue jeans
Mona Lisa with a ponytail
She's walkin' talkin' work of art
She's the girl who stole my heart


Where do you start with this one. Well Jimmy Clanton, when you sang this song in 1962 did you do ANY research.

1. Venus is a planet how can that possibly where blue jeans

2. Mona Lisa has long hair admittedly but have you ever seen her in a pony tail, just because he couldn't be bothered to take a trip to France to check it out (Googles Image search engine was a bit slow in 1962) he expects to get away with it.

3. Since when did a piece of art walk and talk. Some modern art did walk and talk once upon a time I admit until it was murdered and put in an art gallery by some nutty modernday artist.

4. If she stole your heart you would be DEAD.

 

[Barnet Seagull]

Dr Hook, the delightful 70's bearded fools remind us that
"When you're in love with a beautiful woman, it's hard."

Not when you're impotent it isn't.

 

[Heffle Gull]

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!















Oh hang on, on second thoughts this one might be true

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Neil Diamond once said with authority, that Money talks. To make this sort of assertion, and then go on to admit that it does not either sing, dance or walk is, in my opinion ludicrous.

I have sat here for the last hour, trying to engage in conversation with a five pound note.

Result??

Utter silence.

 

[El Presidente]

" All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away kit ", according to 80's chucklesome scallies Half Man, Half Biscuit. Well the wife actually modelled a nurse's uniform from Ann Summers on Christmas Eve night, and to be frank, it made my Yuletide far better than any East European crappy footie shirt

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Tit flasher Janet Jackson AND brain addled crooner Luther Vandross both informed me that, and I quote, "the best things in life are free".

I promptly went out and took a Bentley, several cases of Dom Perignon, a high class Russian prostitute and a large quantity of grade-A Colombian marching powder.

Would those two fucktards please explain why i'm now facing up to 20 years at her Majesty's pleasure?

Billy Bullshitters, the pair of 'em.

 

[Pevenseagull]

I for one think that Chuck Berry's enthusiasm for the guitar playing abilities of 'Johnny be Good" is misguided

The guitar is NOT a percussion instrument so playing it just like you're ringing a bell is just plain wrong

by all means bash it about once in a while a la Hendrix/ Sonic Youth but at least play it like a guitar for a bit first

irrespective of his lack of ability in the reading and writing department there is no excuse

 

[Seagullible]

I'd like to see the Shamen move any mountain. If anyone has a preference for which they start with?

 

[pompeydel]

80's rocker Adam Ant once sang ' don't step on an ant, he'll come looking for you'........................Adam you stripey faced glam queen.....1. Stepping on an insect not much bigger than a grain of rice with your thigh length boots is very likely to either kill, incapacitate or at very least cause considerable distress to the poor thing and 2. If it was to survive and after a period of rehabilitation did set about wandering the streets with a view to locating you, it would need to have pretty good memory to recognize you from under your size 10 wellies.

 

[Easy 10]

And even then....whats it gonna do ?

 

[hutchings (48)]

Why does it always rain on me?

ALWAYS Fran? Even indoors? Its none of my business like, but i think you ought to consider moving, because it sounds as though your house is uninhabitable.

 

[Seagullible]

Why does it always rain on me?

ALWAYS Fran? Even indoors? Its none of my business like, but i think you ought to consider moving, because it sounds as though your house is uninhabitable.

Think it has something to do with being scottish. I suggest he moves further south

 

[Muzzman]

"Build me up, Buttercup"

Last I knew the common buttercup has not yet entered the competitive business that is construction.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Whitesnake lead singer screamed:

'Here I go again on my own'

Well I've seen them live and the fact of the matter is he was not on his own at any stage during the concert.

Lying twat.

 

[On the Left Wing]

Come on Eileen

I bought it thinking it was the straight version of Relax .... bitterly disappointed when I played it

 

[pompeydel]

ELO - I'm alive......I'm alive........

:thud:

well you'd have a bit of trouble singing if you wasn't....:

 

[On the Left Wing]

The Sound of Silence


also totally misleading