[Albion] Silent Support Weekend

[Psychobilly freakout]

 

[BNthree]

My boy plays for a Cat 1 Academy and parents aren't allowed to coach from the sidelines. Just a few "come on"s and clapping from parents generally. Think it’s a good thing.

 

[Sirnormangall]

What league is that? I've coached in Mid Sussex leagues, my son plays in Sussex Sunday U13, and I have refereed a fair few games myself, and I've rarely found it's the players causing any problems, and quite rare to see a really bad challenge that isn't just a miss timed attempt at the ball.

Most of the time it is parents and coaches that cause all the issues. Refereeing I've been in the middle and felt a rising febrile atmosphere and rising tension from the sidelines that really is projected out onto the pitch - you can sense some kids feel the need to act or put a challenge in because of that.

I would say with some conviction it is 99% the adults involved in kids football that cause the issues, rarely is it the kids or referees.

That’s my experience too. The kids are generally ok. The main issues arise from the coaches and parents wanting to re-live their lives through their children. They’re very quick to criticise volunteer refs ( indeed any ref) but are not prepared to give up their own time to do it and are the first to complain about the shortage of refs.

 

[pure_white]

I did not say we confront the ref - the ref should speak to the coach of the team's that do it (there are a number in our area, just a sad fact I'm afraid) and can and should (but never do) put the lad in the sin bin for 10 minutes. At our age group (U13) the sin bin is the equivalent of a yellow card. Yes, some of the parents and coaches do not do a great job.

U13 sin bin is 8 min not 10 min

 

[Swansman]

My boy plays for a Cat 1 Academy and parents aren't allowed to coach from the sidelines. Just a few "come on"s and clapping from parents generally. Think it’s a good thing.

What position does he play?

 

[raymondo]

Sin bins are only for dissent

Hmmm...that's not how it was explained to us but I'll ask our coach for clarification - thanks. So is there an actual yellow/red card policy for foul/dangerous play then for U13s?

 

[raymondo]

Yep. And I 100% agree it’s normally the adults at fault.

I coached for two years and carried on running the line after that. Our club had mostly decent parents, but there were always a few who knew better than the coach and volunteers but wouldn’t commit any of their own time up. It really used to boil my piss. But we had some absolute clowns among visiting parents and coaches.

The worst one was when I was running the line and the ref was about 14 as you say. The ball was heading for the sideline but stopped in play. One of their players ran to it and I told him it was still in and play on. He picked it up and threw it in without a throw being given and the ref blew for handball.

The opposition coach was on the opposite line but screamed “you’re f***ing joking ref”. At half time he came on to the pitch to confront me and the ref - accompanied by the players relative. Who was driving a mobility scooter!

That should have been the time he was telling the young lad quietly about the “whole of the ball, whole of the line” rule and playing to the whistle before encouraging him for the second half.

If this weekend stops incidents like that then I’m all for it.

BTW I couldn’t possibly say what club they were from but there’s an Eazy E bench in the town centre

That's a pretty shocking incident...even we haven't seen something that bad in our area.

 

[raymondo]

Do those officials ‘bottle it’ because of violent/aggressive parents or coaches with those other teams, do you think?

Yes, I think that's the case sometimes. I know it's a really difficult one. Some of our refs are mid/late teens (it's great that they are) and a few of our visiting coaches/parents can be pretty difficult/verbally aggressive. I think the refs may bottle some decisions and it's frankly understandable. If they could be a bit tougher in the first five minutes of a game then the frequent fouling/elbows/bad language could reduce or stop, allowing for a calmer game all round.

 

[lost in london]

As a parent and coach of 6 and 8 year olds, I think this is total nonsense. As does every other parent and coach I’ve spoken to. At young ages they need direction. We’ve told the kids and they’re not looking forward to it either.

Prepare for a lot of lost looking little boys and girls on the pitches of the country this weekend.

I'm surprised that 6 year olds are playing against other clubs. 8 year olds are just there to have some fun, and in our league play in quarters, so there are three opportunities for the manager to have a chat with the kids.

It's just one weekend, just go with it.

 

[BNthree]

What position does he play?

I'm not ignoring you but for his anonymity I'd rather not say.

 

[BNthree]

I'm surprised that 6 year olds are playing against other clubs.

A lot of (non-competitive) leagues start at U7.

 

[Swansman]

I'm not ignoring you but for his anonymity I'd rather not say.

No problem. Reason I ask was that I was going to offer one piece of advice for whatever his position is in exchange for 20% of his future wages.

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

Jazz hands? WTF? Although I can strongly recommend Jazz mags. I’m an avid reader

 

[Guinness Boy]

Jazz hands? WTF? Although I can strongly recommend Jazz mags. I’m an avid reader

There’s nowhere better to learn of new techniques for blowing the trumpet.

 

[rippleman]

That’s my experience too. The kids are generally ok. The main issues arise from the coaches and parents wanting to re-live their lives through their children. They’re very quick to criticise volunteer refs ( indeed any ref) but are not prepared to give up their own time to do it and are the first to complain about the shortage of refs.

As someone who qualified at 14 and started out reffing in kids football (albeit a long while ago now), I can totally endorse these comments.

The players were never a problem. The adults - parents and coaches - were a nightmare. It didn't put me off but I can understand why others just walked away. Kids behaviour has certainly worsened over time and I'm not sure that in the present day, as a 14 year old, I would have stuck with it.

I can only suggest that those moaning about referees give it a go themselves. Go take the course, pass the exam, and get yourself registered with a kids league. And a reminder to all parents that if your kid gets booked or sent-off it's because of something YOUR kid has done. Don't blame the ref if you haven't brought your kid up to behave properly.

 

[Farehamseagull]

So feedback from the weekend - I'm never afraid to say when I'm wrong and I can safely say I was wrong about this!

Feedback from the kids was that they preferred it and whilst it did seem a bit odd and I had to stop myself on a number of occasions, I actually quite enjoyed it too. It was lovely listening to the boys really communicating and talking each other through the games rather than relying on us coaches. My own boy said he preferred it as sometimes in open play he'll be doing something, hear my voice - even if it's encouraging/instructional - and it makes him hesitate and put him off. He said I should trust him more as he knows what he's doing!

So going forward I've promised him during his matches in open play, I'll keep my mouth shut! And with the lads I coach, I've also told them I will be a lot less vocal and let them lead the way. It was a really good idea and interesting lesson, I hope other coaches and parents have taken on feedback from their kids too as it was unanimously positive from the teams I'm involved with.

 

[Normal Rob]

I watched my daughter team play Saturday morning. There were a few calls of support, nothing much, and applause when pertinent.

It was the flattest, most depressing footballing experience in my entire life. I even had more fun refreshing Ceefax in the 80/90's. Fully understand the thinking, and i hate parents getting overbearing at the games, but please let me support my daughters team in the right way.

 

[Justice]

Jazz hands? WTF? Although I can strongly recommend Jazz mags. I’m an avid reader

WTF do you think the internet is for

 

[raymondo]

So feedback from the weekend - I'm never afraid to say when I'm wrong and I can safely say I was wrong about this!

Feedback from the kids was that they preferred it and whilst it did seem a bit odd and I had to stop myself on a number of occasions, I actually quite enjoyed it too. It was lovely listening to the boys really communicating and talking each other through the games rather than relying on us coaches. My own boy said he preferred it as sometimes in open play he'll be doing something, hear my voice - even if it's encouraging/instructional - and it makes him hesitate and put him off. He said I should trust him more as he knows what he's doing!

So going forward I've promised him during his matches in open play, I'll keep my mouth shut! And with the lads I coach, I've also told them I will be a lot less vocal and let them lead the way. It was a really good idea and interesting lesson, I hope other coaches and parents have taken on feedback from their kids too as it was unanimously positive from the teams I'm involved with.

My lad's game was also good, some clapping some gentle words of encouragement. Weather was appalling and we lost 4-1, but didn't mind because the other team played good football and the ref was great.
My lad has always said he never hears me from the sideline...similar to home I think

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

That's a pretty shocking...even we haven't seen something that bad in our area.

I totally agree; it looks awful. And Easy E doesnt even have any connection to Newhaven.