Self-harming

[Durlston]

I know this is quite a strong subject to talk about on here but what do you do in this sort of situation?

Tackle someone about it directly or turn a blind eye? Very concerned that it could go further and have it on your conscience or lose them as a good friend if you tell their doctor or medics? I keep thinking it's not my business to get involved but it's causing me disrupted sleep worrying.

 

[Titanic]

Seek professional help.

 

[8ace]

It's a cry for help I believe so tell someone deffo.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

A friend of mine used to self-harm. I used to confront her now and again, but she would shut up shop. Certainly done to attract some sort of attention in this instance. She eventually got professional help and hasn't looked back.

How about suggesting going to see someone and that you would be happy to accompany them to the appointment, but not go in with them.

Self-harm is a release, is it not, without actually having to tackle the troublesome issues? It's not going to go away.

 

[dexter]

yes seek help , having said that a lot of teens seem to like to copy others

 

[Durlston]

Seek professional help.

But they won't get that. In an impossible situation.

 

[Titanic]

But they won't get that. In an impossible situation.

Why won't they get help if they ask for it? or perhaps you could get professional help in how to deal with it?

Let me google that for you

 

[1066familyman]

If it's a close friend then you could lose their trust if you seek professional help above them. Nothing stopping you talking to professionals yourself though to overcome your own natural anxiety about it and find out the best way you can help your friend. Also, don't avoid the subject with your friend, talk to them about it and let them know how concerned you are and how much you care and that you're there to help if you can. That might simply be by being a really good friend, being understanding and taking time to listen to them when they want to talk.

Good luck.

 

[Gullys Cats]

Its a cry for help, if the problem is ignored it will get worse, help them in any way you can.

 

[Durlston]

As others have said, I suppose it's a way of coping. When you don't feel anything inside, the outer pain can replace that I guess with severe depression.

 

[1066familyman]

It's not always a cry for help, someone I knew who self-harmed did their utmost to hide it from other people. When speaking to her about it, she told me that it was a way of relieving herself of certain emotional pains.

I wouldn't advise talking to other people about it without talking to them first, as it might not only lose you this person as a friend, but it might also push them over the edge too.

My advice would be to talk to this person yourself, as a friend, to comfort and do whatever you can to help resolve their demons.

Exactly. Seeking professional help for someone without their permission can be extremely damaging. You could lose any hope you ever had of helping them as quite often all trust will simply go out of the window.

 

[Durlston]

And that would be that. I'd lose her as a friend. Very difficult dilemma.

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

I don't think it has to be seen as a cry for help. Unfortunately, I still have some marks on my arm from a few years ago, and I wouldn't say they were cries for help. For me it was a way to redirect my attention away from how I was feeling, which unless you've been depressed, is hard to fathom. Imagine that feeling of heartache when you split up with your first love, but double it, move it to your brain, and have no idea why you feel that way, and you have some idea of how bad depression can feel.

I read a amusing article from America (obviously), where a man cut off his right hand by accident with an electric saw. To relieve the pain, he nail-gunned his left hand. That pretty much sums it up for me.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I read a amusing article from America (obviously), where a man cut off his right hand by accident with an electric saw. To relieve the pain, he nail-gunned his left hand. That pretty much sums it up for me.

How did he nail gun his left hand if he'd already cut off his right hand with an electric saw?

PS
Let me know if you have any other amusing stories...

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

How did he nail gun his left hand if he'd already cut off his right hand with an electric saw?

PS
Let me know if you have any other amusing stories...

Maybe it was just a couple of fingers on the right hand. And yes, I have a lot of fun stories. Did I ever tell you the one about the man who shat in a cowboy hat? Oh me oh my...

 

[cloud]

I am in a similar situation, being close to someone who is bulimic. I know it will never go away by itself; they need help or they will die. They have had some help, but it hasn't gone very deep. I think the standard therapy these days is CBT, but this person needs much deeper psychotherapy, and you don't get much of that on the NHS.