Put you gloom lightning jokes here

[Icy Gull]

An old man was sitting on a park bench . A young punk walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, blue and yellow!

The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.

The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son."

 

[JJ McClure]

New Spurs striker Jermain Defoe is looking for a house in the area. It will be a three up four down.

 

[JJ McClure]

White Hart lane was reeling late last night after the shock news that Jermaine Defoe has slapped in a transfer request minutes after Spurs amazing exit from the F.A. Cup.

David Pleat has issued a statement saying "this is unhelpful at this stage, and we think Jermaine has been badly advised by his agent"
However Defoe was unrepentant " I've given everything to this club in the 24 hours that I have been here, took my hands out of my pocket to sign a contract and took my coat off to pose in a replica Spurs shirt, but following tonights result I feel its time to move on to a big club that can provide me with European football"

 

[Bwian]

A guy takes his pet monkey into a wine bar. Goes up to the bar and they sit down.

The man asks the bartender if it was OK to stay there with him while he had a few drinks. Bartender says it would be fine. The guy has a few drinks and while he's drinking the monkey keeps helping itself to all of the bar snacks. The cherries, peanuts and olives. Before it ate any of these it would shove one up its backside and then swallow it without chewing.

Finally, the bartender has had enough and asks the guy what the hell the monkey was doing .

The guy says "He loves eating round things but the last time I took him to a bar he swallowed a ball from the pool table-now he's checking that everything he swallows fits"

 

[est.83]

How far is America?
Steve Coppell: " Not far away."
Why do you think so?
Coppell: " Our goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann comes to the station always on foot!!"

 

[Robot Chicken]

Spurs have signed a new player...David Blunkett.

David Pleat said that although he has enough right wingers already they could use someone who can hold a lead.

 

[Easy 10]

How far is America?
Steve Coppell: " Not far away."
Why do you think so?
Coppell: " Our goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann comes to the station always on foot!!"

I've lost something in the translation there.

*scratches head*

 

[Heath Park Ranger]

You and me both Easy....haven't got a clue?

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

How far is America?
Steve Coppell: " Not far away."
Why do you think so?
Coppell: " Our goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann comes to the station always on foot!!"

Estonian humour perhaps?

 

[est.83]

How far is America?
Steve Coppell: " Not far away."
Why do you think so?
Coppell: " Our goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann comes to the station always on foot!!"

Well, some beers and my English isn`t the same. Not to the station ( ) , stadium is the word...

Oh dear....

 

[Bez]

No that's not helping me.

it's gonna be a long day