Lammy
Registered Abuser
Scousers 1;
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouser bloke 6ft 5in tall
and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and
obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the
gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big
Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow
job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire
in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves
him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if
nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another
beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says, "Just what did he
say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
Scousers 2
Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
hit
him?
A: It might be your bicycle
Scousers 3
Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
A: Because if it walked it would be mugged
Scousers 4
Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night?
A: What you looking at?
Scousers 5
Q: What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit
A: The Bride
Scousers 6
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job". The man behind the
counter
replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very
wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his twin daughters.
You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided.
Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and
you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas
holidays. The salary package is £3,200,000 a year". The scouser said
"You're bull****ting me!" The man behind the counter said, "Well you
started it!"
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouser bloke 6ft 5in tall
and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and
obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the
gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big
Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow
job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire
in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves
him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if
nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another
beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says, "Just what did he
say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
Scousers 2
Q. If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
hit
him?
A: It might be your bicycle
Scousers 3
Q: Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
A: Because if it walked it would be mugged
Scousers 4
Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night?
A: What you looking at?
Scousers 5
Q: What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit
A: The Bride
Scousers 6
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job". The man behind the
counter
replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very
wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his twin daughters.
You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided.
Because of the long hours of this job meals will also be provided and
you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas
holidays. The salary package is £3,200,000 a year". The scouser said
"You're bull****ting me!" The man behind the counter said, "Well you
started it!"
