Poetry Corner

[Tooting Gull]

What an utter cock. The idea that some old tosser can be actually so pleased with and proud of that utter garbage that he would actually embarass himself by sending it to a paper is astounding.

 

[Titanic]

What an utter cock. The idea that some old tosser can be actually so pleased with and proud of that utter garbage that he would actually embarass himself by sending it to a paper is astounding.

That's a bit harsh... I though Attila's effort was OK!

 

[Man of Harveys]

What an utter cock. The idea that some old tosser can be actually so pleased with and proud of that utter garbage that he would actually embarass himself by sending it to a paper is astounding.

Yes, I know, but anything to keep me from working.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Jesus. Poets, So touchy....that was aimed at - no, it's not worth it.

 

[Everest]

Sorry it's a bit late, but I've been out

Mr Charman, after reading your ode
I hope Saltdean stays your abode
You have not got a clue
About what we went through
Now go out and play in the road.

 

[Easy 10]

Some of these are priceless.
I truly hope the Argus prints them as a direct response. That old fool will be choking on his cornflakes. Marvellous.

 

[sams dad]

I just want you all to know that there are lots of pro- Falmer people in Saltdean as well as Knobheads like Mr. Charman

 

[Seagullsgonnagetya]

Done. In a slightly cleaned-up version.

In the poetry corner of the Argus today

There was an old man from Saltdean
Who, in verse vented Nimbyish spleen
His dull rhymes of hurt
contained more pungent dirt
Than the portaloo bogs at Withdean

 

[Yorkie]

In the poetry corner of the Argus today

There was an old man from Saltdean
Who, in erse ented Nimbyish spleen
His dull rhymes of hurt
contained more pungent dirt
Than the portaloo bogs at Withdean

Own up - who sent that in?

 

[Jim D]

I sent this in (which was published on Saturday).....

Outstanding Natural Beauty?
Have you seen what it’s like?
It isn’t Ditchling Beacon,
it’s never Devil’s Dyke.
It’s a god-forsaken wasteland,
with concrete on all sides.
Old buildings and a trunk road,
that’s hardly paradise!
How can the inspector be so blind?
I would say this to his face:
All we want is a home for our team,
and Falmer’s the only place.

So perhaps we're even.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Own up - who sent that in?

Ahem...so is my effort actually in today's paper?

 

[Seagullsgonnagetya]

Oh yes MoH

 

[Lush]

The weird thing about the MoH one is that there's no reference to Falmer or the original letter anywhere else on the page. It just looks like he's having a pop at people from Saltdean!

 

[attila]

Well done to all the Albion poets...
Total respect!!

DECISION TIME

So many need new homes here in our city:
No matter, this, to one Inspector Hoile.
He dashed the hopes of thousands without pity:
Dismissed the poor, the homeless and the loyal.
To countless local families, and the Albion,
The heartless Hoile had just one thing to say:
‘You’re stuck in B&B? That’s not my problem.
You’re not my sort. Shut up and go away.’

Don’t listen to this idiot, Mr. Prescott.
Stand up for what is fair and what is right:
Homes for our people, Falmer for the Albion.
We’re waiting for your signal - the green light.
Don’t turn us down, or you will feel the anger
Of Albion fans and many thousands more.
Say yes, we’ll toast your name across the county.
Say no, we declare electoral war.

Attila the Stockbroker

 

[Gluteus Maximus]

The weird thing about the MoH one is that there's no reference to Falmer or the original letter anywhere else on the page. It just looks like he's having a pop at people from Saltdean!

Rather ironic given the Saltdean blood in MofH's veins. He'll never be able to walk down Lustrells Vale again without looking over his shoulder for the Falmer Antagonists Rottingdean Telscombe and Saltdean (FARTS).

 

[On the Left Wing]

I wandered lonely as a cloud
Over Falmer's Nimby Gardens
And there I met a flying pig
Who on farting begged my pardon.

I asked the pig why fly you here?
Across this downland vale
He answered with a piggly grunt
I protect the land from sale.

But why protect the land I ask?
Looking sadly at the sky
Because, he said, this is the only place
Where locals think pigs can fly

 

[Man of Harveys]

Rather ironic given the Saltdean blood in MofH's veins. He'll never be able to walk down Lustrells Vale again without looking over his shoulder for the Falmer Antagonists Rottingdean Telscombe and Saltdean (FARTS).

Jeez, I think I'd better starting making some calls to the folks (nearly all of whom live in the area). Good job my birthday's not just round the corner, unlike the FARTS.

 

[On the Left Wing]

Good grief ... my first sighting of MoH since I returned last month .... hi

 

[Man of Harveys]