Phrases you are least likely to hear during the world cup

[turienzo's lovechild]

"england are one down at half time, i can imagine svens gonna dish out some harsh words in the dressing room, expect tea cups to fly"

 

[Muhammed - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

Lauwrenson : To be honest Motty this is not the greatest of games. It reminds me of a match during my Lverpool days when blah blah blah.......................................................


Motto : How come you never mention Brighton Mark. Seeing as thats where you made your name I would have thought you would have had a nice word for them in stead of droning on and on about boring facts about Lverpool. And by the way Mark you do know you sound like a northern faggot dont you.

 

[Stendahl]

Fergie: "I don't care about the risk - I just hope and pray that Wayne will play his part and help good old England bring that trophy home."

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Commentator:

"One of my favourite elements of this tournament so far, in fact, is seeing that the Argentine players haven't brandished a single imaginary yellow card at any of the referees"

 

[Redhead]

Paul Robinson looks trimmed and leaner than ever for this tournament

 

[Woodchip]

Rumour has it that the FA are going to keep Sven on after he has shown so much passion for England.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"I must say, the thousands of German fans in their stonewashed denim waistcoats are at the very cutting edge of fashion this summer"

 

[Lady Whistledown]

BBC Sport producer into microphone:

"Yeah, camera three, can we have fewer shots of the female Brazilian fans with the gigantic tits, and focus on the Australians' high defensive line please?"

 

[Simon Morgan]

"so walcott and defoe appear to be england's new strikeforce for this game"

 

[Bono]

"...referee Graham Poll had an excellent game, you didn't even know he was there..."

 

[supaseagull]

Andy Johnson replaces the injured <Insert Name here>

 

[chez]

"The scottish supporters are once again a credit to their country"

 

[GNF on Tour]

"to confound everyone, late squad draftee Chris McPhee stuns Sweden with a first half hat-trick"

 

[watsongooal]

"Dazzling piece of skill by the nimble footed Crouch"

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

'Crouch and Rooney: possibly the best looking front pairing in world football today.'

 

[Seagulltonian]

David Beckham doesn't say "Err" in any interview.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

"That's another fine goal from Cisse."

 

[TSB]

Lauwrenson : To be honest Motty this is not the greatest of games. It reminds me of a match during my Lverpool days when blah blah blah.......................................................


Motto : How come you never mention Brighton Mark. Seeing as thats where you made your name I would have thought you would have had a nice word for them in stead of droning on and on about boring facts about Lverpool. And by the way Mark you do know you sound like a northern faggot dont you.

 

[Everest]

Coming up, news from home that LDC have decided to back down in their protest over a new stadium for Brighton.

 

[Everest]

Come on Scotland.