Phobias

[The Laughing Bluebird]

oh no not more tarantula tales!! when u see tarantulas on tv they only ever seem lurk and dawdle about, they dont run!

Some can run very fast, while others can not only run fast but are particularly aggressive with it.

Take the Indian Ornamental family as an example. Those buggers normally catch their live prey in the branches of trees. They are very big, very fast, very agile, and very nasty. Nevertheless, they are a popular choice with the experts as they are so beautiful.

But there are worse. The Rangoon Mustard, for instance, has been known to throw itself against the side of its tank when it spots its keeper in the vacinity. They also make a loud hissing noise when angry, and will attack given the slightest opportunity.

House spiders are much more frightened of you than you are of them. If one comes scuttling across the carpet in your direction, just move your foot towards it. Provided it senses you it will scarper back under the telly sharpish.

The Rangoon Mustard, on the other hand, would probably make a dive for your throat.....

 

[Race]

My hairs are standing on end now, thanks! and my bloody feet aint going no where near those little fookers!

btw what 'make' r your girls? and please dont tell me that you stroke them?!!!

 

[Dover]

The London Underground. I go down and have the irrational fear that I am going to die in a fireball.

I know, I know, it's a load of crap, but I hate it down there.

Just as an aside i was also offered a job down the pit, just after the strike, and I refused that on the same illogical fear basis.

 

[The Laughing Bluebird]

btw what 'make' r your girls? and please dont tell me that you stroke them?!!!

I have two Chilean Roses, which are the most commonly available variety, and a Chilean Yellow Rump, which is quite unusual. Both species are fairly docile.

No, I don't stroke them. They wouldn't like that at all. But I do handle them occasionally, usually when the time comes to clean their tank (every three months or so). As long as you are careful and gentle, they are perfectly well-behaved.

I was almost bitten once when I got careless during feeding time, but the spider (Myra) didn't strike down with her fangs when she realised she had my finger and not another cricket.

Ruby actually seems to enjoy being handled, but I don't think the other two are fussed. Ruby will slowly walk about on top of me for ages if I let her. I fell asleep in front of the telly with her sitting on my chest last summer. She was climbing up the wall when I woke up about half an hour later.

You'd LOVE it in my house. Honest.

 

[Race]

The London Underground. I go down and have the irrational fear that I am going to die in a fireball.

I know, I know, it's a load of crap, but I hate it down there.

Just as an aside i was also offered a job down the pit, just after the strike, and I refused that on the same illogical fear basis.

I hate the london underground, tunnels and darkness ooooohhh no thank you! im claustrophic as well as being frit to death of spiders!

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

I don't really have a phobia 'cos I'm a double hard bastard - BUT....

I went on 'The Big One' in Blackpool & had a dare with my sister (Bobby's Gull) on who would let go of the 'bar' at the top & thru the descent etc.

My sister bottled it - I didn't.

What a f***ing idiot I was.

At the point of zero gravity (just over the top) I was lifted out of my seat & flung forward. I tried to reach back to grab something, but was grasping air.

It was only the fact that I am so tall that my legs hooked under the seat & then the G-Force kicked in and pushed me back.

All in a split second.

I honestly believed I was gonna fall out to certain death as the 'Big One' only has seat belts around your waist to stop you falling out.

Even though I had shat myself, I went straight back on to overcome my new found fear.

I held on like f*** that time though.

---------------------

Being Diabetic - Needles? Pah! Spiders? No worries. Daft Bints? Aarrrggghhhhhhhh............

 

[Beach Hut]

I hate the london underground, tunnels and darkness ooooohhh no thank you! im claustrophic as well as being frit to death of spiders!

Do it Monday - Friday and on Saturdays matchday away, nay problem you whimps

 

[Race]

I have two Chilean Roses, which are the most commonly available variety, and a Chilean Yellow Rump, which is quite unusual. Both species are fairly docile.

No, I don't stroke them. They wouldn't like that at all. But I do handle them occasionally, usually when the time comes to clean their tank (every three months or so). As long as you are careful and gentle, they are perfectly well-behaved.

I was almost bitten once when I got careless during feeding time, but the spider (Myra) didn't strike down with her fangs when she realised she had my finger and not another cricket.

Ruby actually seems to enjoy being handled, but I don't think the other two are fussed. Ruby will slowly walk about on top of me for ages if I let her. I fell asleep in front of the telly with her sitting on my chest last summer. She was climbing up the wall when I woke up about half an hour later.

You'd LOVE it in my house. Honest.

No I wouldnt! I dont mean to be rude or anything but keeping spiders and letting them crawl over you is just a tad 'not normal'!!! I just dont get it

 

[Brighton Breezy]

I had to travel from the four season hotel to Lords on Friday night at 5.20. Jubilee was down and the DLR was packed. Had to go via Bank, Moorgate, Baker Street and Finchley Road. Took two hours.

Then had to go back again.

f***ing tube.

 

[Race]

I had to travel from the four season hotel to Lords on Friday night at 5.20. Jubilee was down and the DLR was packed. Had to go via Bank, Moorgate, Baker Street and Finchley Road. Took two hours.

Then had to go back again.

f***ing tube.

fook the tube, get a push bike, its quicker and the fresh air and exercise will do you the world of good!

 

[Virgo's Haircut]

I'm afraid of Littlehampton

 

[The Laughing Bluebird]

I dont mean to be rude or anything but keeping spiders and letting them crawl over you is just a tad 'not normal'!

Can't really argue with that!

 

[Brighton Breezy]

I once 'met' the spider who had been in a James Bond film. He was a bit offish, I think the fame had gone to his head.

 

[Dover]

I aviod the tube at all costs, unless someone is with me. Stupid and irrational.

Give me the bus anytime.

 

[Yorkie]

I hate the london underground, tunnels and darkness ooooohhh no thank you! im claustrophic as well as being frit to death of spiders!

When I was in the WRNS I used to work 200ft underground in a communications centre. I can use the tube trains without any qualms

 

[SussexHoop]

The Dentist - although I've found a brilliant dentist now and recently managed a session where I let them lie me flat on my back and repair a tooth ... 4 months ago, that would not have happened.

Wasps and bees - one night about 8 years ago we had to put something in the loft. Stepladder down, my wife went up so I could pass it up to her. She turned the light on and I could see the shadow of something flying around. She flew back down the ladder as 2 wasps followed her out. I pointed out she'd left the light on and she went back up. I closed my daughter's bedroom door and did the same in my son's bedroom ... and stayed in my son's room till she told me it was safe to come out. Turned out we had 3 nests and about 25,000 wasps lodging with us!

I have however held a nice fluffy tarantula in my hand.

 

[alan partridge]

heights and buttons

 

[pasty]

The Dentist - although I've found a brilliant dentist now and recently managed a session where I let them lie me flat on my back and repair a tooth ... 4 months ago, that would not have happened.

Would you mind sharing the name of said dentist please? I turn into a snivelling two year old girlie at the thought of going to the dentist, but I really need to find a good one before all my teeth drop out.

 

[MasturbationTheMonkey]

Work

 

[pasty]

I'm scared of NSC posters. See many of you I recongise at pre-footy pubs, and at the game but am too shy to say hello.