OT - are all pregnant women a$$holes?

[Dr. No]

No.

 

[Your Mum]

Hang in there, we're rooting ......

....your mum

 

[el punal]

Suck it up, it only lasts until the kids go to Uni [emoji23][emoji23]

Oh no it doesn't! Bank of Mum & Dad still provide an excellent financial service after uni. Fair to say that now our sprogs are well down their career paths we, M & D, are reaping the rewards. Bless 'em!

 

[Me and my Monkey]

I'd be a bit snarky if I had to carry around another human for 9 months.

Especially if that human was my needy, gormless, unsympathetic partner. Hard enough carrying a bloomin' baby around for that long.

 

[Justice]

Especially if that human was my needy, gormless, unsympathetic partner. Hard enough carrying a bloomin' baby around for that long.

And who said romance was dead.

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

Especially if that human was my needy, gormless, unsympathetic partner. Hard enough carrying a bloomin' baby around for that long.

 

[smudge]

Bit delicate, but here goes.

I don't find pregnant women in the least bit sexually attractive, in fact, for me a major turn off. Yet "women" become very amorous towards the later stages of their pregnancy.

Awkward.

 

[Colossal Squid]

I think most women's natural resting state is utter bitch, but most of them try to curb it to an extent day to day. However as soon as they get preggo that's a licence not to bother hiding it.

A bit like the casual way in which we all bandy about "**** it, it's Christmas" as we pour another litre of gravy into a bucket of roast potatoes during the festive season, to the fairer sex, being pregnant is the ultimate excuse to act how they actually want to

 

[Bob'n'weave]

Ah yes, low profile = 'why aren't you speaking to me' etc.......

Agreed. Low profile is not a good strategy.

My tips for getting through this with your face/genitals intact are as follows -

1. Assume everything that you say or think is utter shite not worthy of a response
2. Assume everything she says is like nectar from the gods that you are grateful for
3. Keep smiling and practice you best 'concerned' look. (Advanced practitioners can do this simultaneously)
4. ALWAYS look busy so that when instructions are given, you can drop your 'important task' to attend to her meaningless request.
5. Foot massage (or any other part of her body that she wants you to to rub/massage) - can be a repugnant affair depending on where, but just try to look like your trying your best, NOT enjoying it. (very important).
6. When random ideas are thrown at you like, 'we really need to paint the house tartan" or "about time we went macro-biotic vegan" etc. Do not respond with raised eyebrows and 'Just crack on with the washing up luv, FFS'. (note: you should be doing that anyway). Lower eyebrows in a 'giving this serious thought' manner and employ stalling tactics. Practice and repeat.

In a nutshell, get used to the fact that you're the one with the cock, so IT'S ALL YOUR F***ING FAULT!!!! and you won't go far wrong.

 

[boik]

Maybe it's just the hormones, but third trimester imminent and she is acting like a cross between Jeremy Kyle and a Palace yoof firm member whom has just been told his Le Coq Sportif tracksuit is moody

I think you'll find that it all depends upon who they're married to/living with.

 

[dazzer6666]

Bit delicate, but here goes.

I don't find pregnant women in the least bit sexually attractive, in fact, for me a major turn off. Yet "women" become very amorous towards the later stages of their pregnancy.

Awkward.

The things we have to do to keep them happy........

 

[LamieRobertson]

Bit delicate, but here goes.

I don't find pregnant women in the least bit sexually attractive, in fact, for me a major turn off. Yet "women" become very amorous towards the later stages of their pregnancy.

Awkward.

How many women we talking about here?

 

[Seasidesage]

Whatever you do, don't let them find out you are completely indifferent to their 'suffering' or slightly bored by the manufactured drama of it all...

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

I'd be a bit snarky if I had to carry around another human for 9 months.

George Micheal managed to do it for years but he was never grumpy.

 

[daveybgtt]

Mine hit me the other day, baby due in April, it was only on the back but it was quite funny.

I only took over the washing up, which I did because she acts like a fu**ing martyr about having to do it.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

Bit delicate, but here goes.

I don't find pregnant women in the least bit sexually attractive, in fact, for me a major turn off. Yet "women" become very amorous towards the later stages of their pregnancy.

Awkward.

I hear you brother, a big no no from me.....

As you say very awkward indeed.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

Mine hit me the other day, baby due in April, it was only on the back but it was quite funny.

I only took over the washing up, which I did because she acts like a fu**ing martyr about having to do it.

If she is you prior to little one coming into the world and pulling the world famous martyr moods then wait until she is getting up in the middle of the night breast feeding bigger moods honestly you will wish you were :safeway:

In short your fecked...

I wish you well in your future life as a parent and suggest you pop out this afternoon buy a cardigan and slippers rip up your season ticket, cancel sky sports....

Your life is........

just beginning...

Enjoy.

 

[bhafc1976]

Funny blokes them women...


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[Albion my Albion]

....your mum

must have been the worst a$$hole in history after chasing your arse around.

 

[Bob'n'weave]

.................and when they are bitching and moaning about anything/everything. DO NOT under any circumstances try to offer a fix/solution. Red rag. They ENJOY it, so don't you f***ing dare spoil it by pointing out the logical solution.