O/T-New Dad here in need of some advice!

[Seagull Stew]

Just wonder if the NSC Dads on here can give me some advice on something that I hadn't considered before I became a Dad.
Me and my wife are fortunate enough to be blessed with our first child, a beautiful girl called Emily who is just over a day old. My wife had a c-section so I'm pretty much doing everything for now.
Firstly, I am so terrified when I pick her up and hold her. I think I'm going to drop her and therefore I'm lacking in confidence, big time.
Also, I had to wash her hair today with the midwife and she cried the hospital down while I was doing it. Now I know that babies cry, (it's what they do for a living), but the fact that I was MY actions that was causing her to cry made me choke and I broke down afterwards and cried like a cissy! I also found it difficult to dress her as, again, it was my actions that was causing her to cry.
Have any other Dad's had similar experiences or do I just need to harden up a bit otherwise she'll always have me wrapped around her little finger?
I'm assuming that my confidence will grow but if anyone has any tips then that would be great!

 

[cardboard]

Congratulations.

It will feel really strange at first. You will be frightened of harming the single most precious, amazing thing in your life. But it will change really quickly as your confidence grows. It may also be a release that has been building up over the months before she was born - the worry in the back of the mind that something may have been wrong with her etc.

You will be fine

 

[coventrygull]

There is no training in being a new dad. Don't worry you are perfectly normal. We have all been there.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Congratulations mate - your life will never be the same again! It's all good!

Don't worry overmuch about the crying, it's the only way babies can communicate to start off with.

Tho there is a second means of communication for the first couple of weeks. Make sure she's watching your face then poke your tongue out at her. She'll poke her tongue out right back at you - fact!

 

[wehatepalace]

I'm glad you've asked this, our first is due in April and I've been wondering about all these things, so I'm very glad other people worry about it too !

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Mate she will cry, when she's hungry, thirsty, wet, dirty, too hot, too cold, its to noisy, she cant see you, hear you, can hear you........................just enjoy it!!!

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Congrats on having a beautiful daughter, Stew and for starters, be assured that it isn't just Dads who may not be confident about the practical side of parenting. I'd never even changed a nappy when I had my oldest son. When we took him home from hospital (27 years ago you stayed in for 6 days even for an absolutely simple, straightforward delivery) I sat on the sofa, looked down at this vulnerable little chap and wondering why anyone had allowed me to take the awesome responsibility of bringing up a child. Starting with the sheer practicalities of the job since I needed an illustrated guide to nappy pinning. Indeed, as I studied the drawings, the baby peed a perfect arc which narrowly missed getting me and his Dad in the eye!

When you are a new parent you simply can't bear the sound of your own baby crying since the poor little souls can cry up such a heart-rending storm. But remember that everything is new to the baby and their usual reaction to the unknown is to squawk. Very soon she'll love her bath and your confidence will grow as you get to know each other.

The best way to get over these natural feelings of inadequacy is to spend as much time as possible with Emily. You can't spoil a baby and the first thing little girls learn to do is wrap their Dads around their fingers! Not all little girls are lucky enough to have a Dad who is as committed to the job as you are though.

 

[Taybha]

Congratulations!

Its scary but after a while it will become second nature to you and you will find your own method for comforting the crying,as for the baby crying i havnt a clue

 

[Lush]

Remember a day ago she was all safe and snug in the dark in your wife's tummy. Everything is going to seem strange, even something like a bath or a hair wash or a nappy or sleepsuit change and probably make her cry. After though, a warm quiet cuddle in a darkish room will make both of you feel all safe and nice as you get to know each other.

 

[Shinbreath]

Congrats to you and Mrs Stew.

I know they dont come with an instruction booklet but most of the stuff you need to do should be fairly obvious. Just trust your instincts. I'm sure in a few weeks from now you'll be flying... And in a months time you'll wonder why you were so worried.

One thing I always say to new parents is that the baby needs to fit in with your routine and not the other way round. Of course a certain amount of logic needs to be applied to this piece of advice.

Good luck and enjoy the ride

 

[scooter1]

Congrats. I became a father for the first time 5 weeks ago, and I can't agree more with whats been written above. You won't drop her, be confident of that.Dressing is fine, they are pretty robust. Its wonderful, I've never had any time for other peoples kids in the past, and suddenly in an instant my tolerance has increased a hundred fold. Its a massive learning curve but with every hour your confidence will grow and you'll undertand different faces mean different things - no 2 kids are the same, just relax and enjoy it

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

It is scary being a big guy and handling something so small and fragile as a baby. but then, they are not as fragile as you think and aree pretty bendy when it comes to clothing. Be as gentle as you can and you'll soon get used to eachother.

Can only echo what's been said above. It can seem to take some time before the baby recognises 'you' but those rewards are worth waiting for. Good luck!

 

[Mackenzie]

The thing to remember is that babies are reasonably robust, they have to be to cope with childbirth. The crying is just their way of displaying displeasure (I don't like having my hair washed, I don't like clothes). I was the same as you with our first baby, I'd never had anything to do with babies and boom here she is WHAT THE F DO I DO NOW. Don't worry about showing your emotions either, becoming a dad is an emotional time. Just try not to drop her, support her head when you hold her and don't worry if she cries (you'll be an expert before long!!!).

Congratulations mate and good luck to your new family

 

[skipper734]

Ah! But the wrapped around her little finger thing, you I am afraid can do nothing about. You have had it for the rest of your life.

 

[Hiney]

Congratulations Stew.

Being a Dad is the BEST feeling in the world.

Babies are pretty resiliant so don't be afraid to pick them up. It's really important to held them so they can get used to everything about you.

Also, when they cry, don't forget you are LETTING them cry, not MAKING them cry. The bath thing is completely normal so don't worry about that.

If you want a decent book that gives some brilliant advice on getting them into a sleep/feed routine, it's 'The Contented Little Baby Book' by Gina Ford - brilliant book.

 

[Goodfella]

Congratulations! Stew, as a father of 6 myself,i know the feeling very well, but as everybody else has said on here it is all perfectly normal, and within a short space of time you will wonder why you were worrying so much, just enjoy every single minute while you can mate.

Once again,congrats to you and your lady

 

[Kalimantan Gull]

Congratulations Stew.

Being a Dad is the BEST feeling in the world.

Babies are pretty resiliant so don't be afraid to pick them up. It's really important to held them so they can get used to everything about you.

Also, when they cry, don't forget you are LETTING them cry, not MAKING them cry. The bath thing is completely normal so don't worry about that.

If you want a decent book that gives some brilliant advice on getting them into a sleep/feed routine,

All good advice on this thread so far - down to that last sentence. If you want a book that will make you go mad and tear your hair out, AND make you feel small and useless all at the same time, it's 'The Contented Little Baby Book' by Gina Ford - horrendous book.

 

[Al Bion]

Congratulations Stew, what a lucky baby Emily is to have a dad that cares about her so much. As others have said your feelings now are totally natural and soon it will become second nature to carry her around and not worry about dropping her or hurting her. The best thing of all in the very early days is when you pick her up when she's crying and you realise she's stopped crying because it's you that's holding her.

I hope your wife is doing ok too. I'm sure you will already realise but a c-section is a pretty major op in itself, this often gets overlooked in the joy of the baby's birth so try not to let your wife do too much too soon as this could set back her recovery (and lead to you being in sole charge for much longer!).

 

[Taybha]

Having a baby is a doddle just think of the effort a guy has to go through to make that lil bundle of joy! men are so underrated in the creation department.

 

[Questions]

Let your wife rest a while by
giving it 24 hours before you demand sex.................and remember she may not seem up for it at first.