O/T Foxes

[Dick Head]

When you are pissing and shitting in your garden it helps to be wearing a red coat and white breeches with riding boots and hat.

 

[Commander]

You could always try releasing a troop of Mountain Gorillas in your garden. Foxes are terrified of Mountain Gorillas.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Surely cub-abduction is the only way to get out of this tricky situation. Snatch and then leave a trail of their favourite bairn's scent leading right into the kitchen window where a snapshot of it suckling from your dry, cracked, probably left-nipple, thanks to the fact your back garden faces southwards and the exposure on such a picture would be magnificent and provocative, would be planted. Release a series of high-pitched squeals throughout the night that could sound like babyfox-torture screams and those devils will soon be taught the lesson of prime ****offery. Then, either sell the little one, a Derek if i imagine the cheeky nipper rightly, on Ebay, or have the wife on a stitching skills reminder course so that new hat she's wished for for a while, when watching Paris Hilton bulletins on E! News, could crawl right onto her head.
You're welcome.

 

[easynow]

Right. The day began by pouring my own piss into my neighbour's garden, right into the entrance hole under my house.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Looking forward to the game against them on the 7th

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Anyone got any experience of this? Obviously killing the animals isn't an option, trapping them isn't practical ... they need to be persuaded to leave. But how?

Why ask us? What does the fox say?