NSC Grumpy Old Men Thread

[Lord Bracknell]

You're the grumpiest of the lot with your moaning about Norman Baker and Lewes District Council and Falmer Parish Council and yah de yah de yah. You even look like a grumpy old git. And as for that roz, well...

1. People who drag you off for a curry at 9.45 in the evening, when any civilised person would be at home drinking cocoa.

2. Chins

 

[pasty]

Everything on this thread!

And

People that spend 10 minutes waiting for a bus then when it turns up, get on and spend another five minutes fumbling for their purse.

Ditto above but in supermarket checkout queues

Cyclists that don't stop at red traffic lights or obey any other laws of the road, because they give me (as a sensible cyclist) a bad name.

The TV license

Cheating footballers

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

intolerance.

And I am intolerant myself of impoliteness and those who drop litter.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

british prices for anything

 

[The Large One]

Fat people

*thinks* f*ck it.

Does that include the bloke in your avatar?

People that spend 10 minutes waiting for a bus then when it turns up, get on and spend another five minutes fumbling for their purse.

And then ask, 'how much is it?'

Originally posted by Lord Bracknell
1. People who drag you off for a curry at 9.45 in the evening, when any civilised person would be at home drinking cocoa.

2. Chins

People led to curry houses after meetings by people with chins. What a bunch of miseries. Still I was grateful. The colour is returning to the duvet cover, and Daisy is getting her sense of smell back now...

 

[Le Premier Cru]

Any ball-point pen that runs out it the middle of a signature;
Bad spelling and/or grammar

Grumpy Old Mysognists!

Is that the same as misogynists?
Gum chewers who, despite the evidence, think that the rain will wash their spat-out gum away. Keep it in yer gob till you next pass a bin FFS!

 

[captainmorganrum]

Chicken Kievs.

Why hasn't someone invented a Chicken Kiev that doesn't split in the oven as soon as the temperature reaches gas mark 3?

What is the point of all that lovely garlic filling if it all leaks out before it's finished cooking - it just ends up being Chicken in breadcrumbs!!!!

Never mind DNA cloning - just invent a non-exploding Chicken Kiev FFS!

 

[Le Premier Cru]

Great avatar though, Roz.

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

People who press the button on a pelican crossing when 'WAIT' is already lit.

People who repeatedly press the 'CALL' button on a lift - what is it? A f***ing accelerator?

Ignorant people who use their shopping trolley as a battering ram.

 

[The Great Cornholio]

Everything on this thread!

People that spend 10 minutes waiting for a bus then when it turns up, get on and spend another five minutes fumbling for their purse.

Ditto above but in supermarket checkout queues

And it's always women! It really bugs me as I get my card or money out ready. While they are hunting around for the 2p off voucher stored in a strange compartment of their bag.

 

[Easy 10]

Co-op in Southwick Square. Its like going shopping in Grozney. Try getting a loaf of bread there - the shelves are nearly always empty, and you end up making do with a half-loaf of wholegrain thick sliced bread reduced to 21p cos its three weeks past its sell-by. Its either that or a packet of Ryvita. They seem to stock a total of about six pints of milk a day, and the deli counter SHUTS at about 4pm, meaning you have to make do with their pre-packed cheeses and hams, which, of course, are often in short supply and a load of shit anyway. There's only ever a maximum of 2 tills open at a time, which means that the queues reach the freezers at the back of the store, and you've got NO CHANCE of cutting in front of the old dears who do a fortnights worth of shopping in there even though all you've got is a jar of Ragu and an onion in your basket. And that old dear always, ALWAYS has a fist full of screwed-up coupons in her gnarly old claw which take about five minutes EACH to scan through, and three-quarters of them turn out to be out of date anyway, and on top of that, she'll spend another ten minutes rummaging through her bag for her "Dividend Card" which she's sure she bought with her but maybe Rosie didn't put it back the other day when she was looking for her pills....

I f***ing hate Co-op.

 

[The Large One]

Ignorant people who use their shopping trolley as a battering ram.

Actually, I fall into that category. I mainly aim them at people who stand in the middle of the f***ing aisle - yakking. (cf. earlier posts about people stopping the middle of nowhere to block thoroughfares). Sake, it's a supermarket, not a conversation pit. Do your shopping and f*** off.

Which leads me to - people driving into and out of supermarket car parks. Use your bloody steering wheel...

 

[Everest]

Easy Easy! My missus used to work in the Co-Op in the Square!

You're bloody well right though. To be fair though, it's head office who decides which branch gets what. Each branch puts in its order, but what it actually gets is another matter.

As for the little old dears, shoot them.

 

[Everest]

Does that include the bloke in your avatar?

He's not fat, just pleasantly plump.

That reminds me, John Prescott for not saying YES yet.

 

[Easy 10]

Easy Easy! My missus used to work in the Co-Op in the Square!

You're bloody well right though. To be fair though, it's head office who decides which branch gets what. Each branch puts in its order, but what it actually gets is another matter.

As for the little old dears, shoot them.

I'm sure your missus did a stirling job Everest. But that place is an absolute JOKE, and its wearing quite thin. Particularly when you take into consideration Co-op's motto:

"Co-op. We go further, so you don't have to."

Ahh, right. So why do I regularly end up driving to Tesco at HOLMBUSH for a loaf of f***ing bread then ?

 

[looney]

so-called reality TV programmes, soaps and US crud like CSI

2) the Tory party trying to reinvent itself, hoping we have all forgotten 18 years of Thatcherism/Majorism and the crooks: Aitken, Archer, Hamilton and Co

People that assume the tories have lost popularity because of thatcher, it was Major. Check election results for details.


People who refer to themselves as European but cant speak a foreign language or name the European National Anthem.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

White hairs have started to come out of my ears at an alarming rate

 

[Schrödinger's Toad]

1. Cinema food & drink - Coke for £2.50, 'Nachos' which look like they've been shaved off old doors for £3.00. Likewise football grounds.

2. Old people driving. Just don't.

3. Women driving. Likewise. Mothers in 4x4s especially, with the token one child, stopping in the middle of the road with their hazards on.

4. The National Anthem. Crap, boring, full of nonsense. Land of Hope and Glory or Jerusalem any day.

5. Jade Goody and the like being stupidly rich. Where's the justice?

6. Whingy bastards at supermarkets abusing you for not accepting every one of their 512 coupons, including the one for Fresh fish against their fish pie.

 

[Schrödinger's Toad]

7. People who swear and abuse their four-year old children in public and at immense volume.

8. Americans.

9. Fat people. Sort it out.

10. Computers, especially the mind-melting complexities of Microsoft programming.

11. Junk Mail. Stop sending me a credit card application the size of a phone book every day - don't contact me, I'll contact you.

12. Delivery lorries which stop in the middle of the road to do their deliveries, apparently unaware that the whole road is now blocked.

 

[The Large One]

People that assume the tories have lost popularity because of thatcher, it was Major. Check election results for details.

Ha, ha. Wrong, looney.

Highest ever popular vote (that's highest number of votes to you) in British electoral history? Conservatives at the 1992 General Election. Tory Party leader? John Major. That's your theory blown apart.