[Humour] Nicknames That Make You Chuckle

[seagullwedgee]

Gloucester and England rugby centre Billy Twelvetrees has a cracking nickname.

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[marlowe]

On a related, and equally fascinating note, Mrs G commented during the Burnley match that the current Albion players use their forenames to call to each other ("Neal", "Solly", "Dan", "Ben", "Yves", "Adam", etc) rather than any nicknames...

I imagine that "Dunky" must be the exception to this rule.

I wasn't aware that one of our players was known for his fondness for digestive biscuits. You didn't clarify which one it is.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I've found firemen and cricketers tend to create the most skilful nicknames - no one gets called their real names in those workplaces.

Class mate from school named Ian has for a lifetime only ever been called Sid [some on here may know this chap]
Few probably know the source - as a lad, he was, shall we say, always a tad on the portly side and someone one day gave him the title of "Porker Siddeley" [as in Vulcan bomber aircraft] and very quickly this just got abbreviated to Sid, and it stuck now for almost 50 years.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I wasn't aware that one of our players was known for his fondness for digestive biscuits. You didn't clarify which one it is.

I always thought it was Rich Tea that were the biscuit of choice for dunkers - Digestives tend to too easily break away to give a disappointing and lumpy end to your brew.

 

[mickybha]

My two favourites both footballers Fitz Hall (One size ) . and Kiki Musampa .(Chris )

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

Two that spring to mind at work....

1: four tacks..... old carpet fitter who just used to roll out carpet in the room and basically... you guessed it put a tack in each corner, he’s probably dead now, he was old in 1987

2: trolley...... young carpet fitter, never did what you told him, 1st call done last etc, basically did what he felt like.

 

[marlowe]

I always thought it was Rich Tea that were the biscuit of choice for dunkers - Digestives tend to too easily break away to give a disappointing and lumpy end to your brew.

I was going with my own personal preference but now you mention it I think "Rich Tea" or "Rich" would be quite an appropriate nickname for said player and more imaginative than merely adding a Y to his given name.

 

[Albion in the north]

On my first posting after basic training, another young lad, Angus, turned up. A Scots lad, nice guy but not the sharpest tool in the box. We were all chatting in the tool store one day when one of the NCOs said to Angus, I bet you cant chop this matchstick in half with a blindfold on. He reckoned he could. So he took off his beret and was blindfolded. The matchstick was then swopped for his beret and for the next 5 minutes the hacked his beret to pieces thinking he was ever so close to chopping the matchstick. `He was for ever called Chopper after that.

 

[The Fifth Column]

Not a nickname but Ray Purchase from Toast of London always makes me giggle.

Clem Fandango was another!

"Hi Steven, It's Clem Fandango, can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you Clem Fandango! I dare you to say that one more time!"

 

[Lankyseagull]

Years ago I worked with a guy that was referred to as 'Rick with a silent P'.

 

[el punal]

Another name and story from years gone by - my mate got a summer holiday job working as a driver’s mate delivering sacks of potatoes to shops and fish & chippies. On one particular day the driver pulls up and says to my mate “Right, I’ll be about twenty minutes I’m off to see Wanker Lil.”

My mate asks “Why?”

“It’s all in the name, son.” came the reply.

 

[The Clamp]

The blokes who Nicknamed their mate “Spider” because once when they went shopping, he bought four pairs of jeans.

And an ugly bird at my first job known as pebble because even the ocean wouldn’t take her out.

 

[PHCgull]

If you remember seeing the vietnamese boat people on the news in the late 1970s it was a terrible thing to behold...thousands of poor souls taking to the sea on anything that would float..


Late 1980s I worked (briefly) doing nightshifts on the ovens at the Sunblest factory in Woodingdean.
There was a vietnamese bloke worked there, totally incomprehensible except when swearing profusely in English.

Everyone called him "Lucky"

 

[bobby baxter]

Wasn`t there a character in The Boys From the Blackstuff nicknamed "Isaiah" because one of his eyes was higher than the other?

 

[happypig]

I used to work with fellers known as "three phones Pete", "F*ckwit Doug", "Doctor Zack" (looked like Zachary Smith from Lost in Space), "Valderrama" & "Johnny two hats".
There was a lady in the office known as "Flora" (spreads easily).

 

[m@goo]

Clem Fandango was another!

"Hi Steven, It's Clem Fandango, can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you Clem Fandango! I dare you to say that one more time!"

Haha! That whole running gag was the funniest thing. Need to rewatch!

 

[Garage_Doors]

There was in the past a lady who had the nickname Land Rover for the reason she had four children by four different fathers.

 

[TugWilson]

I got a good mate we call Ned ( Flanders - Simpsons ) i swear he has the same hair the same moustache and dresses the same with the same language , oh i diddly did forget my dee dum diddly paper . But he can swear with the best of them when he chooses .

 

[seagullwedgee]

I might get in trouble for this, but what the heck. Back in the early 90s one of our regional managers in the north had a really pronounced horrible Lancastrian accent, and he was a right pedantic humourless tosser. We called him Thrush.




Because he was an irritating (vnt.

 

[half time scores]

Back in my Hang Gliding days there was a pilot in our club who came from South London who we called Cyclops because he would end a sentence "Won I"

A friends Grandfather worked on the docks in Liverpool where there was a chap named the Destroyer because he was always running around looking for a sub