New respect for Ian Holloway, QPR manager

[Wozza]

Ian Holloway, Manager of QPR, after Saturday's home victory over Chesterfield:

"To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one. Some weeks they’re good-looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best-looking bird, but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best-looking lady we ended up taking home, but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee".

 

[Tooting Gull]

And dare we say it in these tobacco-loathing times - but maybe a cheeky cigarette afterwards. That is a top quote, hope that makes talkSPORT this afternoon.

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Not surprising..have you seen the birds in Shepherds Bush!

 

[CAFC Matt]

 

[Dunkstar]

 

[Italiaseagull]

 

[The Large One]

Usng that yardstick, does that make our performance against Luton a quick knee trembler with an absolute pig?

Or our home game against Watford last season a hell-for-leather baby-oil smothered orgy?

Just a thought.

 

[crasher]

Not surprising..have you seen the birds in Shepherds Bush!

Yep - and a bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush

 

[Hiney]

and on Saturday we came too soon and paid the price

 

[Tooting Gull]

Right, here we go.

1983 FA Cup Final. You Pull a supermodel way out of your league, wowed here with some scintillating chat and a cheeky smile, you're on a promise, she said she'd pay for the taxi back to your place, it's looking great, then some Northern Irish thug breaks in at the traffic lights, stamps on the taxi-driver's leg, he crashes, and the first car to stop is driven by a multimillionaire who promises her the earth and drives her off in his Bentley, you never see her again.

 

[The Large One]

Right, here we go.

1983 FA Cup Final. You Pull a supermodel way out of your league, wowed here with some scintillating chat and a cheeky smile, you're on a promise, she said she'd pay for the taxi back to your place, it's looking great, then some Northern Irish thug breaks in at the traffic lights, stamps on the taxi-driver's leg, he crashes, and the first car to stop is driven by a multimillionaire who promises her the earth and drives her off in his Bentley, you never see her again.

You do get a second chance a few days later, but by now the shine has gone, and she was actually a leviathan in disguise. You feel quite humbled and ashamed, and sleek off home and you slightly less ambitiously try your luck elsewhere.

 

[London Calling]

And Wolves at home last year,

where the parents go upstairs,

you grab four quickies.

LC1

 

[Tooting Gull]

Hereford. You havene't had a shag for ten years, and are thinking seriously about Beachy Head as an option. It is magnificent. Life begins anew.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Us against Wolves last year - despite sagging in places, she's one of the 2-3 best looking ladies in the club. You put in one hell of a big performance to get her home and are elated - but she ends up marrying a multimillionaire who immediately starts knocking her about a bit.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Crystal Palace away, 2002/03 season.

You've just arranged a date with that hot bird from school you haven't seen for 11 years and have just contacted on Friends Reunited.

You go up West to wine and dine her, show her a bit of class. You arrive at The Ritz. She now has a tache, spots, weighs 15 stone and stinks of b.o.

You take your seat, you spill your drink over her (red wine, naturally), the waiter drops the soup in your lap, the red rose guy shows up, the bill is astronomical and you're paying.

Your credit card is not accepted, you have no cash and neither does she, you go outside and it's pissing with rain, you have no brolly, somebody's jumped on the line so the tube's out of action and you're stranded, you have to go back to her grubby bedsit, she sits on your face and you suffocate...

 

[London Calling]

Crystal Palace away, 2002/03 season.

You've just arranged a date with that hot bird from school you haven't seen for 11 years and have just contacted on Friends Reunited.

You go up West to wine and dine her, show her a bit of class. You arrive at The Ritz. She now has a tache, spots, weighs 15 stone and stinks of b.o.

You take your seat, you spill your drink over her (red wine, naturally), the waiter drops the soup in your lap, the red rose guy shows up, the bill is astronomical and you're paying.

Your credit card is not accepted, you have no cash and neither does she, you go outside and it's pissing with rain, you have no brolly, somebody's jumped on the line so the tube's out of action and you're stranded, you have to go back to her grubby bedsit, she sits on your face and you suffocate...

ALL TRUE APART FROM SHE TELLS YOU GO AND YOU NEED TO SHOOT YOURSELF.




LAST TIME AT CHESTERFIELD, THE LADY IS SAYING NO,NO, NO, LEGS ARE DEFINATELY TIGHTLY CLOSED, THEN ONLY COMES SMOOTHY ZAMORA,
COMES FROM AROUND THE BACK AND SLIPS IT IN.

LC1

 

[Pavilionaire]

 

[Kugull]

Sheff Utd at home 2002-2003.

You pull a gorgeous lady of mixed race and take her outside into the car park. All going well, fumbling, rummaging, pony-feeding and plenty of genuine moaning in return. Suddenly she pulls away and screams in anger as she sees that her car is covered in parking penalties and she gives you a slap, tells you it's all your fault, calls you a racist and fecks off home.

 

[Citrus]

 

[The Oldman]

Best laughs for ages. reminds me what it's like to be young!!