Morecambe jokes...........

[Safeway]

Q: What has four legs and goes Woof?
A: Piper Alpha.

I like that one.

Q: How do you know when your sister's started her period?




A: Your dad's cock tastes funny.

 

[lost in london]

Two whales swimming around in the Irish sea, one turns to the other, I've had enough of mackerel, fancy going to Morecambe for a chinese?

 

[Everest]

Due to the recent success of the cockle picking trips, it has been decided to open the trips up to the Welsh.

Gone...

 

[London Irish]

Lighten up dude

Why don't you f***ing LIGHTEN UP, by going on f***ing HUNGER STRIKE

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

OK, I've cheered up now, thanks

 

[Beach Hut]

Not sick, but my favourite joke of recent times:

Q. What's grey and smells of curry?
A. John Major's cock.

Just got back on my chair - a classic

 

[chip]

Whats the difference between a woman and a toilet?

A toilet doesn't follow you around after you have used it.

 

[Dancin Ninja BHA]

Christ, there are some bloody hypocrites on NSC

All the oh-so sensitive people who were afronted by the chants at Luton are now more than happy to type some truly horrendous and offensive "jokes"

To the dickhead who posted the cotdeath "joke". You have obviously never been affected by this tragedy, you f***ing ****

 

[Chesney Christ]

If a joke had been made about the death of the Princess Diana straight after she died you would have so many sanctimonous wankers on here, but making jokes about asylum seekers is okay?

 

[El Presidente]

True, 18 dead chinese is chucklemungeous to many, but if anyone had cracked a one liner about the Soham murders then it would they would have been hung

 

[London Irish]

Well done, order and good sense prevails at last. These immigrants were dehumanised enough from the moment they arrived in this country. Cracking jokes about their terrible manner of death flirts with a lot of dangerous racist stuff about how unimportant their lives were. Having a laugh is great, but how about using it to attack the powerful, not the weak.

Dancin Ninja, racist chanting, racist jokes - all bolix.

 

[Chicken Run]

If it's sick jokes you want!!!

Q: What's a foot long, pink and stiff?









A: Cot Death


* Literally running for the door! *

I'm assuming you hav'nt got kids young man

 

[Happy Seagull]

What does a Pakistani woman and an Ice Hockey goal keeper have in common?


They both change their pads after 3 periods

 

[Hunting 784561]

All the oh-so sensitive people who were afronted by the chants at Luton are now more than happy to type some truly horrendous and offensive "jokes"

I missed the game, what exactly were the chants at Luton ?

 

[bhanuts]

If it's sick jokes you want!!!

Q: What's a foot long, pink and stiff?









A: Cot Death


* Literally running for the door! *

All I can say Is WHAT A WANKER YOU ARE!

Whatever possesed you to post that you sick twat!

 

[Beach Hut]

It wasn't the best attempt at a joke

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

An oldie I always found funny, but no longer valid.
What's ugly and has 3 eyes?
Sammy Davis jr and his wife.

Feel free to make a stand for the visionally challanged and chastise me.