Match is off (NOT) hilarious joke thread

[Malcolm Millichip]

Just heard from my wife that the match is off.
..


She said that if I could give up drinking after xmas for a week she would match it by giving up the cigarettes. Well I had a pint today so she says its all cancelled now.

 

[clippedgull]

I bet her tits hang below her knees and your cock is inverted.

 

[manilaseagull]

is she the ref?

 

[imissworthing2]

You can't mess with peoples emotions like that mate, it's been to long!!!

 

[Everest]

Ban him

and her

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Just heard from my wife that the match is off.
..


She said that if I could give up drinking after xmas for a week she would match it by giving up the cigarettes. Well I had a pint today so she says its all cancelled now.

You have the moral higher ground though. There is absolutely no excuse for smoking in this day and age, but drinking (at a modest level naturally) is effectively compulsory.

 

[Stattoseagull]

How old are you?

You've obviously not had enough attention today

 

[JonathanLivingstonSeagull]

BAN THIS SICK FILTH!

not funny!

 

[Spun Cuppa]

*hilarious

 

[cannedheat]

Malcolm what can I say other than f*** OFF.

 

[Kazenga <3]

I bet her tits hang below her knees and your cock is inverted.