Martin Fitzmaurice Darts MC

[Pavilionaire]

Shame Ted Hankey's switched to the PDC. I can just see it now, the lights dimming, the Count waiting to walk on, becloaked and noshing a yellow fruit, Fitzmaurice priming the crowd with his usual "Darkness has descended, the midnight hour cometh...what's black and eats bananas?"

 

[Knightsworld]

Shame Ted Hankey's switched to the PDC. I can just see it now, the lights dimming, the Count waiting to walk on, becloaked and noshing a yellow fruit, Fitzmaurice priming the crowd with his usual "Darkness has descended, the midnight hour cometh...what's black and eats bananas?"

 

[WATFORD zero]

Fitzmaurice is a great showman. He has the crowd at Lakeside eating out of the palm of his hand.

'Ladies and Gentlemen...........Are you Ready?!?'

(Cue roars from the Lakeside audience)

'LETS PLAY DARTS!!!!!!!!!'

(The roof nearly comes off due to crowd being whipped up into such a frenzy)


The BDO will be a poorer place without him.

Now here's a bloke who knew how to work a crowd

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Now here's a bloke who knew how to work a crowd

Was going to post just such a Hitler comment myself.

 

[edna krabappel]

Fitzmaurice is a great showman. He has the crowd at Lakeside eating out of the palm of his hand.

'Ladies and Gentlemen...........Are you Ready?!?'

(Cue roars from the Lakeside audience)

'LETS PLAY DARTS!!!!!!!!!'

(The roof nearly comes off due to crowd being whipped up into such a frenzy)


The BDO will be a poorer place without him.

There was an Austrian guy used to be pretty good at getting a crowd going too. Can't remember his name, was big in Germany around the late 1930s. Funny moustache. Nope. It's gone.


Edit: note to self. Read second page of thread before posting flippant remarks

 

[Benson]

He's resigned according to CNN. i can only find bleeped footage of the 'jokes' in question. Has anybody got an unadulterated version?

MARTIN FITZMAURICE RESIGNATION

 

[Pavilionaire]

It really is a black day for Martin.

I see the Daily Mail has the clip on its website, but has beeped out every single word of each of the two "jokes". What is the point of that?

 

[happypig]

I see that he was using the "it was only banter" excuse. Now, where have we heard that before.

 

[Pavilionaire]

He said on Wednesday night: 'I have offered my resignation and they have accepted it.

'I made a mistake. I was having a bit of banter with the crowd.
'What happened took place because I was unaware the camera was on. If I have upset anyone I apologise.'

Mr Fitzmaurice, from Colchester, Essex, said he believed he was the victim of a set up, but he would not say who he believed was behind it.

He said: 'I'm a bit fed up and I'm upset my family has been brought into this.
'My children have been devastated and things that have been said about me are unbelievable.
'I know what I said was wrong but at the end of the day the damage is being done to the sport by those people writing the filth.
'Anyone who knows about darts should know I have been round a long time and it's always been good.'

It's like Ron Atkinson, only much worse.

 

[thisistips]

Good bye and good riddance

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Amazing that his Twatter account hasn't been deluged with bile.

 

[Lenny Rider]

Shame Ted Hankey's switched to the PDC. I can just see it now, the lights dimming, the Count waiting to walk on, becloaked and noshing a yellow fruit, Fitzmaurice priming the crowd with his usual "Darkness has descended, the midnight hour cometh...what's black and eats bananas?"

That would have been TV gold right up there with the baby elephant on Blue Peter and DLT's gotcha.

 

[Tooting Gull]

He said on Wednesday night: 'I have offered my resignation and they have accepted it.

'I made a mistake. I was having a bit of banter with the crowd.
'What happened took place because I was unaware the camera was on. If I have upset anyone I apologise.'

Mr Fitzmaurice, from Colchester, Essex, said he believed he was the victim of a set up, but he would not say who he believed was behind it.

He said: 'I'm a bit fed up and I'm upset my family has been brought into this.
'My children have been devastated and things that have been said about me are unbelievable.
'I know what I said was wrong but at the end of the day the damage is being done to the sport by those people writing the filth.
'Anyone who knows about darts should know I have been round a long time and it's always been good.'

It's like Ron Atkinson, only much worse.

This is incredible, if you were writing a Partridge-esque delusional parody it would be along these lines.

It 'took place' only because the camera was filming it. Err, no, it took place because you said it.

'It was a set-up'. Oh come on.

And the 'damage is being done' by people writing 'this filth'. That would be people accurately reporting what has happened, as opposed to the presumably 'non-filth' of racist gags.

You'd like to think no one under 40 will ever be like this ever again.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Partridge-esque. Barmy Fitzmaurice is probably driving up to Dundee in his bare feet as we speak. It's not far from Fife.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Partridge-esque. Barmy Fitzmaurice is probably driving up to Dundee in his bare feet as we speak. It's not far from Fife.

The big lad Fitzmaurice could probably get through some Toblerone on that trip.

 

[Pavilionaire]

So what's left for Martin? A tour of Working Men's Clubs with Big Ron - "Reminisce with the Racists", starting with 5 nights in Carnegie Hall, Dunfermline?

 

[crodonilson]

Sadly died

 

[Pavilionaire]

Racist In Peace.

 

[Ernest]

Sadly died

He died years ago

 

[Bladders]

Sadly died

Yeah, 2 years ago


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