Lionel Messi for BHA?

[perseus]

What we need is a speed merchant, balanced, highly skilful and powerful striker with excellent ball control, and positioning, capable of beating defenders in one on one situations as well as creating space for team mates, with a great shot from any distance, superb vision and clinical passing and dribbling ability. Fantastic aerial ability, good with both feet, and an expert at curling free kicks. Also with an easy pronounceable rhyming name and willing to accept low wages and has an European passport.